To Be or Not to Be? Whats the real question HEAR!?

Ignorance Is Truly Bliss!


Have You ever Gone to see A doctor and Wonder after the appointment...If they really can relate? Or Understand? have been there done that? With Exception to oncologists, cardiologist, And ophthalmologist...Who Ultimately Do wear Glasses and/or Contacts eventually...

I have...

Lets Take GYN's and OB's for example that are men!
Ever Wonder if they went into the profession so they can sit in front of a womans VAG all day!?
And then think, "well hey dude, How can I trust you REALLY understand when you have a penis?"

Seriously What young 20yr old MALE goes into med School thinking, OH Im picking this field because I know I can truly make A difference in the lower region of Womens lives, And I'll Extend it to Obstetrics Because I can relate to A pregnant Women and their Child......I THINK NOT PEOPLE!

Not to mention the fact its the most, intimate Medical Profession.

Whats my point?

My Point is, that I wonder if these, Audiologists, Speech Pathologists, ENT Doctors and Otolarynologist, Have spent MORE then a few days with Someone whos hard of hearing or Profoundly deaf? Wonder If They had, If they would have the Same conclusions they have now...
I feel like its important to get on a more personal level to be able to relate to families and patients To see A broader Spectrum of Possibilities.Especially since, Really they do not care what your story is for being in their office. They want medical facts, and Want to know you desire medically for the future. MOST Of what they say, Comes with a cold Front, and Simply "scientific" replies, as to WHY this is important...and why this is necessary, and What will happen in the future. LIKE THEY KNOW FOR SURE~
Professionals are always quick to Boast about their success rate, successful patients and stories TO WARM the heart. I understand its to give Hope...But then Ask them about When It didnt go so successfully, Like with Sophie, And their demeanor and Tone Changes. Its no longer with a smile, or happy Chuckle in their story. Their Eyes aren't bright when Speaking About cases where The Child just wants NOTHING to do with wearing this machine...

Side note...

Isn't it the case with Most places...In reference to Doctors offices, that the Nurses are the key players in EVERYTHING. Doctors are in and out, quick, usually cold...I feel like Maybe The smart way to become a doctor Should have meant that its a prerequisites  to Be a Nurse first, Then BE MD...Whatever you like to be Called.

Obviously I KNOW WE CAN NOT ALL EXPERIENCE the same way. Lives aren't long enough to live through every possible scenario. Im Not an idiot!

Im just saying it would be nice to relate more, and get less text book answers.

Im reminded That Sophia, Is one of the "rare" cases. In which Youth at a super young age, have already made up their own mind, their avenue of Communication. Being told that While its Not The "normal" (theres that word again) But that it does Sometimes happen. Making it that much harder to try and sway them in any other direction.


I understand that for those who have experienced Hearing loss, Or my New favorite Term thanks to "switched at birth" ..deaf gain...Are super sad, scared, scrambling for a fix it,and fix it now, route. That it would be defeating almost to have to struggle to hear, what you could always hear before.
However, I can also understand that Its a different way of life for those who's earliest memories come from silence. Where nothing BUT SOUND is new, and frightening and weird.
The Cochlear implant is a fantastic device, yes! Successfully helping those who are hard of hearing to Function Easier in this Dominate hearing World. A recipient, Knows they are still and forever will be deaf, But as Ive heard from friends, family and strangers, They see it as a way to NO LONGER BE DEAF. While thats a very false Statement, In a way, I guess it helps these hearing folk, be more ACCEPTING! They no longer see that person as deaf, and welcome them...(that sounds so bad, but its the truth, people have said that, and done that...funny huh?...)
Acceptance is a tricky thing, its not really our human nature (for most of us anyway) Something that Has to be taught, and at that Taught when Young so it sticks...Which goes along with Our family being told that scientifically, Sophie must learn speech before a certain age or it all turns to "garbage"..Their WORD USED, not my Word.
Acceptance Is something I CHOOSE to use, instead of the word Tolerance. Tolerance implies that Deep down you are still uneasy about something, but you just go with it. Acceptance is SOUL DEEP. And WHY tolerance is something WE DO NOT TEACH ABOUT IN THIS HOUSE. Our Children are being caught the importance of accepting Everyone, Culture, looks, "difference", Challenge, daily life adventures.

We feel its important to nurture Sophia's Desire to just be a kid. Her choices are just as important. Her Lifes path should be her own. AS Should All our childrens. We are not sad that Sophie is deaf. We are not sad she doesnt use her voice to speak words to us. We Communicate amazingly. This week I was informed how impressive my ASL has gotten, that its Fantastic to see that Sophie has picked it up So well. Does what every other 4 year old does, Some better, And has A bright future (duh). If speech is the only thing impacted When Sophie is an adult, then The Good Lord knows, Matt and I did A damn good job. If Speech is the only thing people want to HOLD against her...Then We will teach her that most people are ignorant, and that Shes strong enough to with stand, and maybe make that person whistle a different tune, after they meet.

When Sophie was first "diagnosed"...though Again not a term I love.
We were asked, well...How will she learn?
                                    Will she learn her ABC's and count?
                                     Be able to follow directions?
                                     How do you teach someone who doesnt hear?
                                     What kind of future can she have without sound?

My answer to all?

American Sign Language.

Its a real language you know?

Now almost 3 years later. Sophie can...

Dress herself, follow 3 step directions, Writes out "mom, dad, Emily, Ryan, Sophia" when We ask her too. Writes her letters, Knows numbers 1-10...How many 4 year olds do you know, that not only can recognize Letters in print, in sign, and then be able to write them out? Or In sign alone in Sophie case when we practice our daily writing skills. SHES A SPONGE, rather speaking or not. Because ASL is An actual structural language, To which We are taught things with. Has meaning, and just as A hearing child learns....A Deaf Child Learns through ASL.The brain receptively ACCEPTS the sign and remembers it for its meaning. People want to call it visual Cues...FINE call it what you will. But Do we not do MOST EVERYTHING with our eyes. We Are able to Live and be successful even without the sense of Sound. Did you know, that in the Canine World, hearing is the last thing to Develop? In fact All dogs are only born with one functioning sense, The sense of Smell. Personally, If I lost my sense of smell....that would be more horrible then the sense of hearing. bahaha


To Be Deaf, hearing, have Hearing Loss, or deaf Gain. If you are still learning and growing and using the gift God has Given you. Whats the Problem?

Nothing is easy. Whether you are a Deaf, blind, paralyzed or Green plant loving hippy. Some people have it harder then others. True. But All in all, life isn't a cake walk no matter who you are, or where you are lacking. Life is how we make it out to be. Happiness SOLELY depends on us and us alone. When we let the outside World torment us, break us down, hold us back, knock us down...That's when its time to pick OURSELVES back up, re-evaluate, and find our own happiness. Letting the hate, fall to the way side, find your own community and keep them Close to heart. Prayer. And the push, for joy, no matter what fault we own.

To Be Or Not to Be?

Exactly who you are supposed to be

From babes

PLEASE EXCUSE SOPHIES MORNING BED HEAD. As per our routine, Breakfast time means Processor time. On while watching some tunes, and eating a lil something. Never lasts too long, but the point for now is to get her nerves exposed to sound as often as possible. I have been on the Phone again this week with Docs, trying to get our referral for closer Therapy into the system. So Aural Therapy has not begun yet. An update for Sophies success is that she still hates it. Fights me, cries, hides to take it off, hides it under things. We've had success with her wearing them out in public so much hasnt changed. Im sure once therapy begins her perception will change. Maybe even as she sees the wonderful skins (aka stickers) Her Great Aunt Pam got for her will make her seem more interested in them. They arrived yesterday and as per Pams request We let sophie open the envelope they came in. She pulled them out and looked confused...and then excited. Thinking they were just cool big stickers. lol. Im sure. She peeled them off and I put them on the processor which seemed to take forever. But they look darn cute. Baby steps in the hearing world. baby steps.


Last night tho I could not shut my mind down for bed. It took me way long even after some allergy meds (which usually knocks me out)before I fell asleep. Not to mention Sophie getting up a few times. I swear if Im thinking about her, In the same moment I will hear her yell or cry because she woke up with something out of place. Im not kidding.
But the Reason I was thinking about Sophie last night, had a lot to do with something I experienced via facebook that day. Which caused me to think about Different kinds of Sign language, and how we do not really consider ourselves to use a specific type yet. Meaning, Often we use ASL, but we also include helping words and in Exact English Form, where we sign the same word we are speaking. In ASL, of course Word placement As Ive blogged before is different, much like when you learn Spanish.
Deaf community as Ive been told refers to that as pigeon signing.
Yet, in true form of being a child, untainted by meanings, and propaganda Sophie has oddly enough Shown me something incredible.
Sophie uses real ASL~ She puts the on before the shoe. the Shopping before the go. Dad before Where. Not every sign is perfect, not every sign right, but oh my goodness. How funny, that For me...Im stuck in my wanting to use the,this,is,it because I sign and talk at the same time. But because Sophie only signs, she doesnt add in the,is, or it. She understands her Language as the community sees it, with out ever knowing anyone from that world. How coooooool. Last night I thought about the sentences she uses, the format she does it in, and the results I give her.
All these little tells, moves me into more and more believing that Sophie is comfortable in who she is. And its OUR JOB to make sure that continues. Her not wanting to wear her hearing device has prompted her to WANT TO SIGN MORE! N Communicate well. Even Ryan is picking up other signs now and using them.

Communication! Communication is KEY! But what if you were missing a sense that allows for you to communicate with everyone? After all it is said that our sense of hearing allows us to gather, process, and interpret.We use sound to acknowledge what is around us. Sound triggers memories, waves in sensations. Can keep us safe by warning us whats coming or whats near.Right? All important. All needed. But not essential. I feel. Sure i'd miss the heck out of my hearing should I loose it. But If I put myself in Sophies personal situation, I can see why the immediate change in what she hears can be off putting.
For argument sake I understand why doctors in the ENT field will push said Cochlear Implants, and other hearing devices on Families with Very young children. I understand the mind is a sponge the younger we are. And that Sound helps our Brain to function in multiple ways. Learning to listen sparks brain cells, memory, and expands the brain capacity. The more information you obtain the more you hold right?
I read something recently that Its not all about SOUND for children who are deaf. Sound is not going to make their brain Bigger, them smarter or their Capacity to retain information greater. its COMMUNICATION that is going to do that. Learning How to relate things, understand things, LANGUAGE~ I've heard every spew about how extremely important language is for Sophie. Language to communicate, to gain knowledge, to grow, to understand, to progress. All referring to the spoken language. BUT I BEG to differ. As my life continues to see Sophies progress right before my eyes. Through Sign language, shes expanding her knowledge, shes learning, shes retaining information, shes bright, and funny. I didnt teach her that Egg is to bird. Yet When I signed egg the other night she signed Bird. I didnt teach her Fish is to water, but with Sign language and relation, and absorption, and using her other senses...She knows that, and can tell me that.
In the animal World. Many mammals are born without the sense of hearing. In fact its the VERY LAST sense to develop. Meanwhile, the tiny furry newborns thrive, grow, learn and take in tons of knowledge before week 3 when the sense of sound starts to open up. Animals Again later in life can loose their hearing, We take pity on them...but really they are just fine. A horse with less or no hearing goes about his Horse life perfectly happy. adapting. Progressing, Successful, less timid. Still graceful, galloping, trotting and prancing along. Still enjoys the wind in his hair as he runs and plays. Still loves. Still understands. Thats my Sophie!

IF Only we werent so obstructed by the hearing world.

If only I too had gone with my gut. And my gut the night before and the morning of the surgery. Sophie wouldnt have this giant lump on her. She would touch the side of her ear and sign "I dont know". She wouldnt hate the processor. If we had waited a few more years...Letting her make that decision.
AS of right now, in her 3 year old mind, her deafness is freedom, her hearing device is punishment. If she didnt feel that way, she wouldnt run covering her ear at the site of me picking it up to turn the battery on.

Other people have their opinions of it. her reactions, her fits about it. Have hopes for her liking it, using it, needing it. All I want is her to decide whats right. Shes happy as is, we are happy when shes happy. Love her for her. N all in all, thats what we hold onto. We are not holding onto hope that shes gonna use it, we are holding on to her! Following her. Obviously she knows whats right for her already, hence her crafty ASLING skills. ;)


FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES right? In her Case From the Hands! Children, deaf, hearing, blind, anything amaze me in what they know...its US adults who loose the sense of MIND as we age. Maybe, we should listen to a child more often!

We can say it with Sign, CAN YOU?

Today is all about Signing.
After spending the day trying to form together a few signed English Sentences I've decided to share them with our Readers. Now, mind you, as A mom to 3 kids under 4, some of these sentences are going to be geared more toward, social behavior. Some helping Verbs. And Action words.

So, when it comes down to Sharing. We are learning to say it with sign. More then just share. We have to tell our kids that its not ok, to "take away" right.
So we sign
" do not take that away. Give the Toy to them please!"
" Lets get a game we all can play together"
" Share the toys with your sister (brother)"

Or in the mean spirit of sibling tension
"do not tease your brother"
"we do not hit in this family"
"leave them alone"
"that is not nice"
"done, now you may sit in time out"
"stop it, NOW!"
"its brothers (sisters) turn now"


Or how about its a huge mess in the livingroom
"time to clean up. Clean up, go go go"
"lets clean up together"
"Can you put this toy away for me"
"go clean your room"
"make your bed"


asking of questions
"do you want this one?"
"can you tell me in sign?"
"how do you say...in sign language?"
"which one?"
"where does this go?"
"who is in that Picture?"
"do you like...?"

Or useful phrases when I can not always get my husbands attention
"I have to speak with you, it is important"

Then singles
"never"
"with"
"awake"
"the"
"wash"
"maybe"
"again"
"find"
"would"
"did"
"kids"
"open"
"close"
"forget"
"stand up"
"sit down"
"in"
"out"
"great"
"job"
"good"
"try"
"clothes"
"change diaper"
"almost"
"enough"
"as"
"big"
"little"
"some"
"ask"
"for"
"on"
"off"
"but"
"decided"
"our"
"we"


I do not expect Sophie to use these signs. But with in the next several months my hope is that she will start to understand them, as we use them more often.
Its a good jumping point from here, and Now this is a place I can refer back to each day.



Words, like
the, this, that, were, was, do not, can, can not. It, is, in, all parts of spoken english. And if we want Sophie to hear, speak and sign. it has been brought to our attention that Signed English, uses those helping words. In the Form in which we speak them. Where as, ASL, would leave out those "cluttering" words and switch around the word order. Example. ASL users would say "shopping me go" instead Of "Im going to go Shopping"




Now granted I do not have all these signs memorized. But now having them written out I can run through them daily. Learning as we go of course. THe best way to do it.

"Gravity" Sara Bareilles (ABC Style)

To watch you must pause my playlist on th right hand side.
Watch and listen, enjoy and notice the beauty she puts into her sign language. Her own touch "accent" if you will.

View more videos of her on youtube!