To Be or Not to Be? Whats the real question HEAR!?

Ignorance Is Truly Bliss!


Have You ever Gone to see A doctor and Wonder after the appointment...If they really can relate? Or Understand? have been there done that? With Exception to oncologists, cardiologist, And ophthalmologist...Who Ultimately Do wear Glasses and/or Contacts eventually...

I have...

Lets Take GYN's and OB's for example that are men!
Ever Wonder if they went into the profession so they can sit in front of a womans VAG all day!?
And then think, "well hey dude, How can I trust you REALLY understand when you have a penis?"

Seriously What young 20yr old MALE goes into med School thinking, OH Im picking this field because I know I can truly make A difference in the lower region of Womens lives, And I'll Extend it to Obstetrics Because I can relate to A pregnant Women and their Child......I THINK NOT PEOPLE!

Not to mention the fact its the most, intimate Medical Profession.

Whats my point?

My Point is, that I wonder if these, Audiologists, Speech Pathologists, ENT Doctors and Otolarynologist, Have spent MORE then a few days with Someone whos hard of hearing or Profoundly deaf? Wonder If They had, If they would have the Same conclusions they have now...
I feel like its important to get on a more personal level to be able to relate to families and patients To see A broader Spectrum of Possibilities.Especially since, Really they do not care what your story is for being in their office. They want medical facts, and Want to know you desire medically for the future. MOST Of what they say, Comes with a cold Front, and Simply "scientific" replies, as to WHY this is important...and why this is necessary, and What will happen in the future. LIKE THEY KNOW FOR SURE~
Professionals are always quick to Boast about their success rate, successful patients and stories TO WARM the heart. I understand its to give Hope...But then Ask them about When It didnt go so successfully, Like with Sophie, And their demeanor and Tone Changes. Its no longer with a smile, or happy Chuckle in their story. Their Eyes aren't bright when Speaking About cases where The Child just wants NOTHING to do with wearing this machine...

Side note...

Isn't it the case with Most places...In reference to Doctors offices, that the Nurses are the key players in EVERYTHING. Doctors are in and out, quick, usually cold...I feel like Maybe The smart way to become a doctor Should have meant that its a prerequisites  to Be a Nurse first, Then BE MD...Whatever you like to be Called.

Obviously I KNOW WE CAN NOT ALL EXPERIENCE the same way. Lives aren't long enough to live through every possible scenario. Im Not an idiot!

Im just saying it would be nice to relate more, and get less text book answers.

Im reminded That Sophia, Is one of the "rare" cases. In which Youth at a super young age, have already made up their own mind, their avenue of Communication. Being told that While its Not The "normal" (theres that word again) But that it does Sometimes happen. Making it that much harder to try and sway them in any other direction.


I understand that for those who have experienced Hearing loss, Or my New favorite Term thanks to "switched at birth" ..deaf gain...Are super sad, scared, scrambling for a fix it,and fix it now, route. That it would be defeating almost to have to struggle to hear, what you could always hear before.
However, I can also understand that Its a different way of life for those who's earliest memories come from silence. Where nothing BUT SOUND is new, and frightening and weird.
The Cochlear implant is a fantastic device, yes! Successfully helping those who are hard of hearing to Function Easier in this Dominate hearing World. A recipient, Knows they are still and forever will be deaf, But as Ive heard from friends, family and strangers, They see it as a way to NO LONGER BE DEAF. While thats a very false Statement, In a way, I guess it helps these hearing folk, be more ACCEPTING! They no longer see that person as deaf, and welcome them...(that sounds so bad, but its the truth, people have said that, and done that...funny huh?...)
Acceptance is a tricky thing, its not really our human nature (for most of us anyway) Something that Has to be taught, and at that Taught when Young so it sticks...Which goes along with Our family being told that scientifically, Sophie must learn speech before a certain age or it all turns to "garbage"..Their WORD USED, not my Word.
Acceptance Is something I CHOOSE to use, instead of the word Tolerance. Tolerance implies that Deep down you are still uneasy about something, but you just go with it. Acceptance is SOUL DEEP. And WHY tolerance is something WE DO NOT TEACH ABOUT IN THIS HOUSE. Our Children are being caught the importance of accepting Everyone, Culture, looks, "difference", Challenge, daily life adventures.

We feel its important to nurture Sophia's Desire to just be a kid. Her choices are just as important. Her Lifes path should be her own. AS Should All our childrens. We are not sad that Sophie is deaf. We are not sad she doesnt use her voice to speak words to us. We Communicate amazingly. This week I was informed how impressive my ASL has gotten, that its Fantastic to see that Sophie has picked it up So well. Does what every other 4 year old does, Some better, And has A bright future (duh). If speech is the only thing impacted When Sophie is an adult, then The Good Lord knows, Matt and I did A damn good job. If Speech is the only thing people want to HOLD against her...Then We will teach her that most people are ignorant, and that Shes strong enough to with stand, and maybe make that person whistle a different tune, after they meet.

When Sophie was first "diagnosed"...though Again not a term I love.
We were asked, well...How will she learn?
                                    Will she learn her ABC's and count?
                                     Be able to follow directions?
                                     How do you teach someone who doesnt hear?
                                     What kind of future can she have without sound?

My answer to all?

American Sign Language.

Its a real language you know?

Now almost 3 years later. Sophie can...

Dress herself, follow 3 step directions, Writes out "mom, dad, Emily, Ryan, Sophia" when We ask her too. Writes her letters, Knows numbers 1-10...How many 4 year olds do you know, that not only can recognize Letters in print, in sign, and then be able to write them out? Or In sign alone in Sophie case when we practice our daily writing skills. SHES A SPONGE, rather speaking or not. Because ASL is An actual structural language, To which We are taught things with. Has meaning, and just as A hearing child learns....A Deaf Child Learns through ASL.The brain receptively ACCEPTS the sign and remembers it for its meaning. People want to call it visual Cues...FINE call it what you will. But Do we not do MOST EVERYTHING with our eyes. We Are able to Live and be successful even without the sense of Sound. Did you know, that in the Canine World, hearing is the last thing to Develop? In fact All dogs are only born with one functioning sense, The sense of Smell. Personally, If I lost my sense of smell....that would be more horrible then the sense of hearing. bahaha


To Be Deaf, hearing, have Hearing Loss, or deaf Gain. If you are still learning and growing and using the gift God has Given you. Whats the Problem?

Nothing is easy. Whether you are a Deaf, blind, paralyzed or Green plant loving hippy. Some people have it harder then others. True. But All in all, life isn't a cake walk no matter who you are, or where you are lacking. Life is how we make it out to be. Happiness SOLELY depends on us and us alone. When we let the outside World torment us, break us down, hold us back, knock us down...That's when its time to pick OURSELVES back up, re-evaluate, and find our own happiness. Letting the hate, fall to the way side, find your own community and keep them Close to heart. Prayer. And the push, for joy, no matter what fault we own.

To Be Or Not to Be?

Exactly who you are supposed to be

Let us Laugh

Laugh

Laugh like nothing else but laughter matters.

In this Crude and cruel World, We need to be able to just laugh...

We live but a short life, So to live bound and not free, stubborn and filtered...

Would be Tragic.



In A breath we wait for something to happen

We Mull over the moment and Forget for an instant that in fact we are but walking a frail line.

That line between what we perceive as reality and what it could be if we let go.

Who's life are we supposed to be living anyway, and in that case, isn't happiness key?

The key to success and solidarity.

What is it that we fear from laughter?

Is Laughter the catapult to all things coming unbound?

To our being lost in the mix of complex notions of life's perceptions?

Or Simply, Humility!?

Yet, it is so, that when true laughter expels from our guts, We feel a sense of relief. No?

So, Why do we hold back?

Laugh

And

Laugh hard

And

Mean it

Take it for what it is, and what it does, and how it expresses and heals and completes us.

Oh to Laugh, whole heartily. Without restraint, without care, without caution.

Freely and Openly. Amidst the Chaos that may be of that day, just laugh, and feel as the weight dissipates, the chains fall to the floor and you lift off feeling free and Calm and steady.

Oh to Laugh. Let us laugh and laugh, and laugh and

Laugh

Cookie cutter

I've actually been trying to think of the right words to say this past week for a blog. Its taken me this long to work myself into writing it. And of course now that I want to. ALL kids are being super clingy. Wanting to sit ON my LAP and me be in their face. Literally making want to rip my own face off lol. Cant mom get just 5 minutes! AHHHHHHH hahhahaha. OK.




I've made it a point for the last year to make sure that I stay tuned to some awesome blogs. Blogs that Can relate to our family and want we want for our family. I've made it a point to also follow different point of views in reguards to having a deaf child. Some blogs are all about the Oral approach and the great benefits of CI's. Others are about ASL, others about Using both ASL and oral. I like to read up on what works for other people, and remind myself that no 2 family are alike.


The Progress that Sophie has made since February in my OPINION, is tremendous. Even in the last Month she has come leaps and bounds. Further than I thought at this point she could be(not that I didnt have faith, and know shes brilliant cuz I do). Not only did she say On the 4th "AH BUG" AND then said "BUG" again later that same evening. BUT shes now also yelling "MOM" when im a ignoring her screams. And Im not kidding. But its not like shes standing there using a low inside voice. She's only using it when YELLING for me. But thats awesome right? So I feel, and will continue to feel thats awesome. But Sophies damn Aural Therapist, begs to differ. Feels that Sophie is no where near where she should be 4 months after implanting. Because shes not using MORE words. Not really puttings beginning sounds together enough, not responding to her name.Or doing task like "sit down" the doll when Rebeccas asks her too. But I ask you..."Did your child respond to their name at 3 or 4 months old?" NO, they reacted to your voice maybe, or smiled to hear you. But if you were behind them calling "Sophie, Ryan, George" or whatever your childs name was, at 4 months they are not going to turn around and look at you. And in retro spec. Sophie's only 4 months old in the hearing world. NOT to mention the fact it had been quit the battle to even get her into wearing her processor full time. Its been just over a month now that she wears it almost all day. That she will ask for it,(sometimes) or tell me it has to be on...due to us being outdoors, or out and about runnning errands.
She is doing well in my opinion again like I said. She bopps to music. She points out helicopters that fly over head. She turns to comfort Ryan when shes crying. Will mimic a Sneeze after she herself does it. AND laughs when you say Ouch, and will want to hurt you again cuz its funny. Will copy someone coughing. Makes an umph sound where you would usually hear something, like taking a picture you hear the click. So in pretend play Sophie "clicks" with a umph. She says "poosh" when Pointing a gun and pulling the trigger (playing of course) She counts to 3 on her hand and then grunts for "go". And During her last therapy, AGAIN when Rebecca and I were speaking and Not paying attention to Sophie, while she played she was making noise "bahs" everytime a chip would land in this cool connect 4 toy. "BAH" = Bounce. HELLO!!!!! and yet again A person who sees Sophie 1x every 2 weeks is grading her low. And Im annoyed and pissed. AND think, how can they judge her in a session, in 45 minutes time, a girl whos not a trained monkey and doesnt want to "perform" for someone she barely knows.
Then theres Sign language. BEAUTIFUL sign language. Our Sophie is finally using it to really get her point across. Now putting 2 and 3 signs together. often its "boy, where, scary" while on my lap telling me that Ryans on his way to scare Sophie. Which they do often, chase eachother from room to room, Ryan roaring like a monster and the girls running and screaming in "fear". Its so cute. But AMAZINGLY just this week, Sophie has FINALLY replaced "boy" sign with Ryans NAME SIGN. Which is the same sign for boy but with your hand making an "R". "Ryan, where,scary" "I want dad" "more milk please" "movie on" "processor off please" "skirt on" "shoes, outside, play". And as I see it all written out, and As I was thinking to myself this morning while Signing with Sophie about eating breakfast sitting dow, or she will have 5 minutes in time out....I realized. How naive I was a year ago about signing. Really till 2 months ago. As Sophie started to really catch on and sign more, and using ASL never using helping words like me. ASL is the way to go. ha. Who knew? All the talk about Speaking when you sign and ultimately you want Sophie to speak, so using S.E.E and words like the, it, is. TO form proper sentences, was the right idea. But really is takes SOOOOOOOO LONG. Sophie is 3, she doesnt have an attention span long enough to wait for my point."where is the ball, go get it please" takes way longer then signing "ball,where? please get" I always knew the difference in S.E.E and ASL. and knew that ASL why it takes so long to learn is because of grammer. Propper deafie sign. :) But long term....its the best to use. It may not make sense when Speaking and signing at the same time. BUT We've always said sign language is Soph's 1st language and we want and need to continue with it. Being a part of the deaf community however we can be is KEY! Even if that only means meeeting up with groups, or attention conferences a few times a year. Even if we do not get a duty station close to a school for the deaf (our biggest hope).

My point is that Sophie isnt your average CI user, ASL speaker, or cookie cutter deaf toddler. She seems to be my little master piece who has been made according to Gods Grace. and is who she is for God's Purpose. Not the purpose that Seattle Childrens Hospital wants to see her as...the cookie cutter patient. She fits in, our family, the quirky, insane, loud, crazy, busy, family we are. Im so thankful for Signing. Im thankful for her communicating things now. Her understanding punishment when shes mean, that she must say Sorry and give kisses when she hurts someone. She knows what a time out is, and that I mean business. She understands bedtime better now. Especially now that she and Emily have separate bedtimes. She knows ALL her colors, counts to 5 in sign. Is learning her letters. NOW finally will sign animals. Signs about Shopping and money like a Little girl always knows best. Is in the 3 year old tattle tale phase, but thankfully its when Something Serious is happening that Im not aware of. AND ALL THRU ASL. Im all for her hearing (obvisouly) speaking and being a part of the hearing world. But Come on People. Shes using language. Her IEP scored her right at her age group for all things but speaking. She knows her shit! Shes Brilliant. And with School right around the corner. I expect By Christmas she will know more then I do.

Im just tired of people putting these expectations on her. Im tired of therapy. So far shes not learning anything of value, that We don't do at home. I want everyone to realize that ASL is just as good as listening, and speaking. LIFE GOES ON! With or without working ears. Saw in a blog today an artistic horse. Where they painted eyes on the Horses ears. Ceramic of course lol. With a sign below it saying MY EYES ARE MY EARS. ANd I love that.
We may live in a hearing world. But there are millions who do not hear. and The World is still rotating. The World still goes on. They still live and florish, and smile, and laugh, and get humor, and fall in love. Live their dreams and write books, give speeches, and win games and pageants. Still play music and sing. have babies and have high powered jobs. Buy houses, give back to the community. Deaf People live! They live life just like a photo I saw this morning as well "LIVE LIFE LIKE SOMEONE LEFT THE GATE OPEN" and a little fluffy dog running so fast with a big smile on its face for the gate! :) If you take hearing out of the situation....You'd never know they wear deaf. In a society where we are all about anit-bullying. We should also be anti-stereo typing as well. Give people chances and stand for whats right. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT.
If I can teach my kids anything, besides having compassion, it would be to Give everything a chance, and stand out. Have expectations for yourself and live up to then, not for what people WANT you to be. Because how can that make you happy? Dont people please by letting yourself turn into something you arent and not happy with.

Life is that much Sweeter because of Sophie. And Emily, and Ryan. And who cares what everyone sees. We are who we are. Totally NOT a cookie cutter family.

Heres some photos from July 4th. Dont mind Emily without a top on. COuldnt find her swim suit and she refused to wear a tank. oops! lol.

BASEBALL while waiting for the fireworks. Totally Sophies sport. She squats like that here in this pic when shes ready to pitch too, its so cute. Shes awesome at it. Emily however, her sport is def, track and field. SHES LIKE SUPER FAST. like Just as Fast as Matt already. its amazing. Ryans sport has yet to be determined. Currently he is into being ALL boy, knocking things over and yelling "I DID IT" beating things with the bat when they are all ready down, racing cars and big trucks around the yards. ALL AMERICA KIDS I tell ya!

Thanks for Reading