Sophie's Choice

Moms!!!!!!!!!



Have You ever been in a group, out in public or in a moment where You notice peoples physical reaction to your children?
Whether its for a tantrum in public, mismatching outfits, or something more personal, like in our case, being deaf.
The face of disbelief, the face of disgust?
I've been conscience of societies reactions. The pure rudeness and gal of what people think they can say, or do to complete strangers. It is appalling. I have witness, Children who start to play with Sophie and then ask "whats wrong with her?" and once they are told she can't hear, and she doesn't talk, they start to distance themselves. I've been asked by adults, who then look like a deer in head lights, who get stiff and do not know what to say so, they make a face, and turn and walk away..."ok Goodbye to you too, thanks for chatting" said in my head, not out loud, though I probably should. I've witnessed while being in the home of someone we know, not want to even look at her, I've watched parents allow their kids to treat Sophie is disrespect. They show their ignorance to something that's perfectly ok, and yet because its not in their everyday, they make the "gross" face. Its like shes diseased...
Ohhh no Don't touch my daughter, or you'll be deaf too...kind of deal.
Which as Sophie gets older she starts to notice.
She notices the little girl who wont look at her, when Sophie is trying hard to get her attention.
She notices the boy who stops playing with her.
She notices the face expression that the parents have on their face, the one that's different towards Emily, and Ryan. The Smiling face that says "hi" when we see them, that quickly turns to just a slight grin and...no Hi, And Guess what...I notice it too!
Because we are naturally able to hear We are also around more families that are hearing as well. In a hearing World. Sophie has and does well to adjust herself to be in the hearing world as best as she can. But she shouldn't always have to.
we have been lucky to have found a small tight knit community that understands our family dynamic. To have placed Sophie in ASL education where we have watched her take off at lightening speed. Its Been Sophies Choice.
To watch her Story tell, to watch her explain, to watch her understand, to watch her Absorb language. Her Language. Its been an amazing experience.
One we have noticed is sometimes hard for people to understand.
People want so badly to make everything "better". They want perfection, they want what they see as normal to be...normal.

In talking with a friend this morning, she used the word normal is such a simplistic, yet awesome way. "this is your new normal"
One of those silent "uh ha" moments happen in my head...like DUH Bec! What a terrific way to explain that to those who just do not get it. That Having ASL in our lives is our new normal, and sharing it with as many people as possible is a testimony to the Joy that knowing ASL can bring. Advocating that its OK to be accepting to all things and sharing all kinds of things, thus making this sometimes, dark and stormy, World a bit brighter.

I've been told by close family and friends that we should NOT EXPECT those around us to learn ASL. That Sophie is one person, and its would be easier to just have her use the gifts of technology to come through into their "world".
BUT
Why shouldn't I expect that. Like a "Hey you want to hang with us, Learn a bit as ASL, so You can communicate with all of us as a whole" Right? YES!!! We can't be the friend, the mom, the wife, the daughter (in-law), Son (in-law) sister, Aunt, Uncle, Brother, Husband, AND ALWAYS TRANSLATE. We of course Aren't expecting you to learn it all, or understand it all, We are still students of the language ourselves, but I don't think its asking too much, especially of close family and friends, to learn the basic's...average 100 Signs, (not including the alphabet) Its really NOT MUCH! And Its not too much to take in, it benefits, Your brain, it strengthens you bond with Sophie. All she asks for is love and attention. To fully know her, means to understand her, How else will you get the gist of her story tell, or her joke, or the tricks she likes to play on people. OH THE MIGHTY POWER OF LANGUAGE!
Any language, any knowledge is good knowledge and works the brain, and keeps the cells active.

I've had countless people, say "oh you know Theres this thing that fixes hearing, right, the cochlear implant, you should get her that" "Oh why doesn't she talk?" "whats wrong with her?" "why is she so loud, can't she be quiet?"
Its reallllllly annoying. You know theres better ways of asking questions Folks. and Truly, If You do not know anything about Cochlear implants, or whether or not we have one, or was looking into one, you should NEVER tell someone to get it to fix their child. Theres Nothing Wrong with being deaf. Not to mention, everything that comes along with the device. Its a wonderful invention, it works awesome, and helps, it allows hearing to happen, but theres so much more then comes along with it. So much work that the person has to do on a day to day basis. Its NOT A FIX. Its wonderful, we have witnessed great differences, and seen the power of Cochlear implants. We may get to see it through our Sophie one day. But please don't expect us to force it on her. Its Sophie's Choice

Matt and I both share the fear of what would happen to our children should GOD FORBID anything happen to us both. Who would be the best match to take our kiddo's. And We fear that without family ACCEPTING ASL as its necessity, and as Sophies MAIN language, that she will suffer even more. Her comfort, has never been hearing, but in seeing. If You take away her parents, and her communication, and force upon her something not vital to her very own existence...what does she have left? Its important for us to document, Sophies Choice. While we continue to ask her to use the C.I. While we are still on the path of fixing it and setting up Aural Therapies. We will always use ASL. We will always ALLOW our CHILDREN TO DECIDE what works for them. We try and come from a place of yes as often as possible. We are trying to instill independent virtues in all 3 kids. showing them that we support their choices.Giving them enough guidance to make smart ones, but ones that will work for them, and their future. Who Am I to say, what they can study, or what colleges they can Attend, Who are we, to say where they can live or how far away, or who to love. ya know? If we can provide a solid foundation, and show love and respect for them starting even this young, then we can assure ourselves that their future is grand. Their choices!
I hope that should something happen to Matt and I, those next in line to care for our children can honor that, honor our way of parenting. We are honest, and allow real life in their life, while also nurturing silly fun fantasy like, Santa Claus and the tooth fairy! I couldn't image it being any other way.


Matt and I lucked up with these Kiddo's. As crazy and loud as we all are as a group. As trying as times can be, as hair pulling as these kids ages are (especially 3s) We have this beautiful thing called Family.




American Sign language ROCKS!

Husband says this all the time

"You never realize how good things were, until you no longer have it"
My Husband is a smart man. An extremely hard worker. He loves his family and does what he can to make sure we are all happy and safe. So he knowing the trouble we are having in a very important matter, Hurts.
Having Moved so many times. Having seen friends and family go through different school systems because We have luckily found life long friends in every place we have lived, We can kind of get the feel to what schools work and why. Hawaii Is now our families 2nd school district for our own kids.
In the DOD school system on base in WA. While Emily's school didn't have the best ratings, her teacher was FANTABULOUS! Loved him. She was half day, and I still do not get how he managed to teach everything she knew to 20 kids in just 2 hrs a day. WITH NO AIDES! No help! Just him. You Rock Mr. T. Sophie's School on McChord had better ratings, and She had an awesome willing and amazing Teacher, Hi Mrs. Ellison, we miss you. Even Though she used S.E.E and There was an ASL interp. At the same time (which can cause confusion) and even though it was a mixed special needs class, Mrs.E and her helpers were the best. They were tuned in, on point, did everything they could to make sure Sophie Thrived. They started the love Sophie has for learning.
last year! NOT ONCE, was I called into the school, or got calls about Students pushing, kicking, or other harmful moments caused by a student, to Sophie. Was I called about injuries? OF COURSE! McChord and her Teacher did their due diligence as a School. In Emily's case. Emily being more of the shy one, soft spoken, and knowing what is class room acceptable and not, is now into her 2nd year of school, having NOT ONE incident. NOT ONE! Runs around outside, 2 times a day (two recesses, how lucky)has gym class, and "free play" in class, sits on the concrete floor, pumps into things often (shes my kid lol, plus her class is super tight.) And has never come home with bruises, cuts or what have yous.Her Class Has about 23+ Students and ONE TEACHER! again NO HELP~ Again, Emily's school doesn't have the best ratings on the Island for DOE. BUT, Her teacher, Mrs Rapoza is SO SUPER! I do not remember in the first grade learning about History,sociology, Or the human body. Emily totally knows what white blood cells are used for, what Antibodies are and how to properly take care of skin. ITS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!! She knows so much! Its scary.
HSDB, Sophie's current school. Is definitely trying. Its had some spotted past for some students and is going through a growing period right now. New People in place trying to make the system better and working as it should. I'm too much of a worrier to have my kid in a place thats transitional and not steady on its own rules and ideas. Though, Sophie's teacher has a great Educational background. SHE KNOWS HER STUFF! and Shes a good teacher. When in class. Shes also a very busy lady. I do however think that shes not exactly equiped for this age group maybe. theres 9 students and like 3 aides along with Teacher,so how do all these accidents happen, thats 2 students per one adult... and When I went through Sophie's paperwork, the daily reports that get sent home, there are 9 bad incidents that involve another Student harming Sophie. Now on purpose? Or not? Not sure. Stories don't always add up. And THANKFULLY, in great appreciation, to her current teacher, Sophie is now able to tell me what happened to her and who did it. Not so much the WHY, part yet. But we will get there. Now I said 9 incidents involving Sophie getting hurt by another student...that does not include the few "accidents" that happened the first month of school before the started to send home the accident report. And that does not include the reports about her falling by her own account. (again My kid, We are a clumsy family apparently lol) Mind you, School hasn't even been in session 3 months yet. Doesn't that sound a bit much!??
I get that This is a deaf school, I get that the deaf kids can be more handsy and rough, and pivot their anger in a not so nice manner. BUT COME ON NOW! I can't tell if its poor student inter action or if its aides Not watching. Or The lack of Correction. Feeling like for a short time the daily lessons should not be about "hungry Caterpillars" or "the 3 little pigs" but should be about How to treat friends, and class mates, respect to adults, and listening to parents. They are 4 and 5, and old enough to get those lessons. I do my best at home, with the 3 kids. From the emails from Sophie's teacher, to my understanding, Sophie isn't being aggressive to them. Shes merely "annoying". Shes in their face and curious about What they are doing and why. She Sees a friend reading a book, and goes to see what book, and maybe read too...and that student doesn't want her there, but Phi wont leave...so that student then acts aggressively. OR The last one was Because Sophie was in the way, of another student viewing the pie baking in the oven, and shoved her. Shoved aside is one thing. But damn this student must of had some real gumption Behind the push because it caused Sophie to slam her face into the counter and bleed for what the office told me was 20 minutes, WITH an ice pack on her nose.
Now let me step back and explain. Sophie is a brut herself (at home) She and Ryan can't sit still, want to always play fight, and wrestle. And When Mad...they both go at it, LIKE SIBLINGS! With exception to the scratching (yes they scratch each other, tho I try and keep their nails short...Don't worry they get punished for scratching)There is never a mark inflicted on eachother by each other. In fact, An example to use, is over the weekend, they were NOT LISTENING TO ME, and were bouncing toward each other on the sofa, where one then would bend and the other would flip over their back. Laughing having fun, but again NOT LISTENING TO ME, about stopping before someone gets hurt. And Someone did, Phi! Ryan's hard head (like his daddy's)Cracked into her where her cheek bone meets the chin. I heard a CRACK, like when you hear the football helmets slam into each other on a tackle. Ryan bent down to get in position but at last minute decided tojust body check her instead. (OHHHHH BOYS!!!!!!!!) I freaked out by the sound, break them apart and Shes crying and "yelling" at Ryan. Her face, looks a little swollen, but no cut, no bruise (yet) nothing more then a little raised. Not even pink oddly. So I watch it the rest of the evening, and into Sunday...What do I see? NOTHING! no mark. Again I say it was a hard hit and the cracking sound when I think about it, still makes me cringe. So You readers tell me...How can she keep coming home with all these cuts and bruises from school, that Im being told comes from a student? But it not happen when I see it with my own eyes at home? How does that even work?
Is it by the hand of students? Is it by someone else?
I don't think Sophie is at the age where she can even get the magnitude of the situation.
Lately, shes not been wanting to go to school. Lately shes coming home in crap moods.

Im wanting to switch her school and Hawaii Department of Education (DOE) has proven to be battle! The professionals I need to speak with Wont even call me back. The School I want to visit, wont let me meet and speak with teacher and visit his class to see his interaction with the deaf students. I just want to see it, see his ASL with the students and how he runs his class.
I tell Ya, We were so excited to come here to Hawaii.
Excited to have a special school for Phi
Excited to be involved in Deaf community of Hawaii
Excited to be on this island and have another adventure.

And While we have loved seeing what we have, Love the esthetics of the Island, the people of Hawaii, the views, the beach...Its not the paradise We had hoped it to be.

Its making me feel regretful to have come here.
Its also left a bad taste in my mouth about deaf schools. Something Grams did warn me about.

Its put a real damper on my Love for Island life...Which leaves me to say the most disgusting thing Ever...WE SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN WASHINGTON!

But Like the Husband says
"You don't know how good you had it, until you don't have it anymore" He usually says the same thing, in multiple different ways ;) Love you hunnnnny!

Educating me

Children...

There is something about the innocence, the sincerity, thirst for their own knowledge that makes us dig deep into who we are as people. Children are always looking to learn, asking questions, in a state of wonder and awe. So as their parents its our job to be as well equipped for these moments as possible. We have to try and get down to their level, and think about what kind of questions they may ask so we can be prepared to answer.

Our 3 rowdy honey bunches of oats, are knowledge Monsters.
Ryans Favorite new line is "whats that?"
Sophie has her epic PHI face, that says everything it needs to.
Emily has her grasp of everything she was taught this year in school applying it to day to day life.
We are in a constant moment of flux
Everything is possible, every possibility is questioned and every question has a possible answer.
We are bounced around from idea to idea, question to answer, moments the suck up knowledge.
AND these kids, stick it in their brain and hold on to it for forever.

How can we not as parents do anything and everything in our power to provide answers, and bring them to places where they ask more questions? Where they learn and grow and have these terrific moments of life that stick with them, and help shape them for the future.

As I watch these kids understand these moments.
Take in these moments.
Grow from these moments.
It reminds me that I need to be the best me as possible. I need to be that roll model that helps them see things clearly. Fully knowing I will make mistakes along the way, but praying that will also teach them.

Lets face it, its really not easy being a mom to 3 young kids. Lord, Help those with more, Truly. I think At the end of our day with 3 Im wiped out. Had we had more at this moment...I'd puddles. Adding into the mix A special needs Child, with the temper of her father and the attitude of her mother, That makes things a tad more complicated. With Sophie being deaf, and cute...she plays her strengths well and easily ignores us when she wants to. Mostly when we are telling her NO~ Or Wait~ Or STOP!

The kids and I sat around the lap top this afternoon as I pulled up different pictures in Testing Sophie and her language skills. Each week her teacher sends out a flyer about what they are learning in this week of school, and I "TRY" and keep up so that we are not behind on signs. The problem is knowing the methods used in school. For instance...Sophie wanted to know the sign for A Scuba diver last week in class. But her teacher didn't know it. As Sophie was more persistent on knowing the Sign Her teacher went and looked it up on the computer. The Sign She showed me Was NOT the same sign I found online on www.ASLPRO.org So Sometimes it is not easy to keep up. Im super thankful for Sophies class and her teacher this year, but I am so looking forward to a more sign stable environment. In any case, We went thru a list.
Lion
tiger
Giraffe
frog
cow
dog
horse
bird
duck
zebra
grass
sky
cloud
sun
moon
caterpillar
worm
bug
ocean
whale
seal
jellyfish
crab
sea turtle
octopus
shark

All things shes been learning about. Last month they did bugs. This month has been concentrated on Sea life. And every word we went through Sophia knew by heart. Now Emily and Ryan know them well too. "lion" and "octopus" were among the favorite signs. Making faces to match each animal.
Grass was A new one for me. Im glad I know it now :)

Education. Is not just something we are supposed to leave at the foot of the School building. It is to be shared at home, nurtured at home. USED at home. Education doesn't just have to be Find the sum of X. ya know~ Its more then that.
Sophia's Language skills has come so far. For a Kid who literally quit using for CI in September, shes A super star. Even babbling these days. Full on BABBLING. Not just yelling anymore, or single toned. But adding in a few letter sounds here and there. Lots of m's and G's and D's More A's not just O's. And Using it in reference to things. Sounding back to use and signing.

Emily has been officially granted completion of Kindergarten. Technically her last day of class isn't till Thursday, but I guess her Teacher got her report card completed over the weekend and opted to send it home early. He reports thats she will be an outstanding 1st grader. She is doing so well with her reading, her exploring words and sounding things out. I make her spell each morning before getting on the bus, and she is so awesome. Her report card was 97% outstanding in the grading system.

My Ryan boy, is ready for school. Talks about "ryan schoo" all the time. Wears Sophies back pack and makes pretend that he and Emily are getting on the bus to go to school. I really hope to get him into SOMETHING this coming school year. He knows all his letters visually. But knows his colors in sign language more then verbally :o lol lol lol


We are always learning here in this crazy Decker house. Its awesome. We are learning this in 2 languages and growing and growing and growing. Its a blessing. As new adventures are with in hands reach, Im excited to experience more. Show our kids more. Teach our kids more. Fill them up with moments not too many people get to do. Feed their travelers blood.

All the while, The world is our School. We are teaching them. They are educating me.

To Be or Not to Be? Whats the real question HEAR!?

Ignorance Is Truly Bliss!


Have You ever Gone to see A doctor and Wonder after the appointment...If they really can relate? Or Understand? have been there done that? With Exception to oncologists, cardiologist, And ophthalmologist...Who Ultimately Do wear Glasses and/or Contacts eventually...

I have...

Lets Take GYN's and OB's for example that are men!
Ever Wonder if they went into the profession so they can sit in front of a womans VAG all day!?
And then think, "well hey dude, How can I trust you REALLY understand when you have a penis?"

Seriously What young 20yr old MALE goes into med School thinking, OH Im picking this field because I know I can truly make A difference in the lower region of Womens lives, And I'll Extend it to Obstetrics Because I can relate to A pregnant Women and their Child......I THINK NOT PEOPLE!

Not to mention the fact its the most, intimate Medical Profession.

Whats my point?

My Point is, that I wonder if these, Audiologists, Speech Pathologists, ENT Doctors and Otolarynologist, Have spent MORE then a few days with Someone whos hard of hearing or Profoundly deaf? Wonder If They had, If they would have the Same conclusions they have now...
I feel like its important to get on a more personal level to be able to relate to families and patients To see A broader Spectrum of Possibilities.Especially since, Really they do not care what your story is for being in their office. They want medical facts, and Want to know you desire medically for the future. MOST Of what they say, Comes with a cold Front, and Simply "scientific" replies, as to WHY this is important...and why this is necessary, and What will happen in the future. LIKE THEY KNOW FOR SURE~
Professionals are always quick to Boast about their success rate, successful patients and stories TO WARM the heart. I understand its to give Hope...But then Ask them about When It didnt go so successfully, Like with Sophie, And their demeanor and Tone Changes. Its no longer with a smile, or happy Chuckle in their story. Their Eyes aren't bright when Speaking About cases where The Child just wants NOTHING to do with wearing this machine...

Side note...

Isn't it the case with Most places...In reference to Doctors offices, that the Nurses are the key players in EVERYTHING. Doctors are in and out, quick, usually cold...I feel like Maybe The smart way to become a doctor Should have meant that its a prerequisites  to Be a Nurse first, Then BE MD...Whatever you like to be Called.

Obviously I KNOW WE CAN NOT ALL EXPERIENCE the same way. Lives aren't long enough to live through every possible scenario. Im Not an idiot!

Im just saying it would be nice to relate more, and get less text book answers.

Im reminded That Sophia, Is one of the "rare" cases. In which Youth at a super young age, have already made up their own mind, their avenue of Communication. Being told that While its Not The "normal" (theres that word again) But that it does Sometimes happen. Making it that much harder to try and sway them in any other direction.


I understand that for those who have experienced Hearing loss, Or my New favorite Term thanks to "switched at birth" ..deaf gain...Are super sad, scared, scrambling for a fix it,and fix it now, route. That it would be defeating almost to have to struggle to hear, what you could always hear before.
However, I can also understand that Its a different way of life for those who's earliest memories come from silence. Where nothing BUT SOUND is new, and frightening and weird.
The Cochlear implant is a fantastic device, yes! Successfully helping those who are hard of hearing to Function Easier in this Dominate hearing World. A recipient, Knows they are still and forever will be deaf, But as Ive heard from friends, family and strangers, They see it as a way to NO LONGER BE DEAF. While thats a very false Statement, In a way, I guess it helps these hearing folk, be more ACCEPTING! They no longer see that person as deaf, and welcome them...(that sounds so bad, but its the truth, people have said that, and done that...funny huh?...)
Acceptance is a tricky thing, its not really our human nature (for most of us anyway) Something that Has to be taught, and at that Taught when Young so it sticks...Which goes along with Our family being told that scientifically, Sophie must learn speech before a certain age or it all turns to "garbage"..Their WORD USED, not my Word.
Acceptance Is something I CHOOSE to use, instead of the word Tolerance. Tolerance implies that Deep down you are still uneasy about something, but you just go with it. Acceptance is SOUL DEEP. And WHY tolerance is something WE DO NOT TEACH ABOUT IN THIS HOUSE. Our Children are being caught the importance of accepting Everyone, Culture, looks, "difference", Challenge, daily life adventures.

We feel its important to nurture Sophia's Desire to just be a kid. Her choices are just as important. Her Lifes path should be her own. AS Should All our childrens. We are not sad that Sophie is deaf. We are not sad she doesnt use her voice to speak words to us. We Communicate amazingly. This week I was informed how impressive my ASL has gotten, that its Fantastic to see that Sophie has picked it up So well. Does what every other 4 year old does, Some better, And has A bright future (duh). If speech is the only thing impacted When Sophie is an adult, then The Good Lord knows, Matt and I did A damn good job. If Speech is the only thing people want to HOLD against her...Then We will teach her that most people are ignorant, and that Shes strong enough to with stand, and maybe make that person whistle a different tune, after they meet.

When Sophie was first "diagnosed"...though Again not a term I love.
We were asked, well...How will she learn?
                                    Will she learn her ABC's and count?
                                     Be able to follow directions?
                                     How do you teach someone who doesnt hear?
                                     What kind of future can she have without sound?

My answer to all?

American Sign Language.

Its a real language you know?

Now almost 3 years later. Sophie can...

Dress herself, follow 3 step directions, Writes out "mom, dad, Emily, Ryan, Sophia" when We ask her too. Writes her letters, Knows numbers 1-10...How many 4 year olds do you know, that not only can recognize Letters in print, in sign, and then be able to write them out? Or In sign alone in Sophie case when we practice our daily writing skills. SHES A SPONGE, rather speaking or not. Because ASL is An actual structural language, To which We are taught things with. Has meaning, and just as A hearing child learns....A Deaf Child Learns through ASL.The brain receptively ACCEPTS the sign and remembers it for its meaning. People want to call it visual Cues...FINE call it what you will. But Do we not do MOST EVERYTHING with our eyes. We Are able to Live and be successful even without the sense of Sound. Did you know, that in the Canine World, hearing is the last thing to Develop? In fact All dogs are only born with one functioning sense, The sense of Smell. Personally, If I lost my sense of smell....that would be more horrible then the sense of hearing. bahaha


To Be Deaf, hearing, have Hearing Loss, or deaf Gain. If you are still learning and growing and using the gift God has Given you. Whats the Problem?

Nothing is easy. Whether you are a Deaf, blind, paralyzed or Green plant loving hippy. Some people have it harder then others. True. But All in all, life isn't a cake walk no matter who you are, or where you are lacking. Life is how we make it out to be. Happiness SOLELY depends on us and us alone. When we let the outside World torment us, break us down, hold us back, knock us down...That's when its time to pick OURSELVES back up, re-evaluate, and find our own happiness. Letting the hate, fall to the way side, find your own community and keep them Close to heart. Prayer. And the push, for joy, no matter what fault we own.

To Be Or Not to Be?

Exactly who you are supposed to be

Welcome 2013

Hello 2013


Its been a Very interesting year to say the least. We were a week away this time last year from Sophie getting her 1st cochlear implant on her left side done. It was a Week or torture As I sat every day wondering if we were making the right decision. Even the morning of I sat and thought...Maybe we should wait. Yet, I took our littlest Girl into the hospital and watched as she left my arms, ready to have her life changed.
She was Ready...
I wasnt

In February She had her Activation done...Something she wasnt ready for. She fought us hand over foot for WEEKS to even get the thing on for a few minutes. FINE! We gradually worked her up to KNOWING if we are out and about SHE must wear the processor. I kept it around the Rear view mirror IN the car so she could always see it, And Eventually she would sign to me "hearing aid" when I would get her out of car. She'd turn around and let me put it on so gracefully.

She spent the summer Wearing it outside, Swimming and playing at the play ground. Enjoying Sounds. But the More We went to Bellevues clinic for Aural Therapy the more she started to REJECT the processor all over again

.This Summer we got to spend A wonderful time with Nonna. The Kids adored seeing her every day. Emily was Helping Teach Sophie how to Dance, with our Daily Dance parties. Emily was learning New signs every day. As We prepared for School to start.

Emily was so excited to be meeting new people, To go on the Bus, and Be A BIG KID finally. (my kids are all old soul) She finally felt able to do things ON HER OWN. And My how far shes come now! Doing so well in School, Good Great, 1000s of friends as she puts it. Reading and writing and spelling. Working on Numbers...lol. But with her new glasses we've found, numbers arent as JUMBLED as before. Though she still gets some confused...mother like daughter. Shes begging for a big friend birthday party this year, and Hopes are we can do that for her :)

Ryan, Lord knows, has grown to be such a funny little boy. VERY expressive, even if that means, trying to strip in public when he gets mad at me, pushing things over in anger or laughing at us when in trouble. EXPRESSIVE to say the least really. Hes a bucket of tough, yet mushy, craziness. Signing about 12 different Words on his own now, and Speaking well. Has a bit of a cute lisp with his S's. But thats ok. He is READY for School, knowing most of his letters by site, Working on Numbers and saying his own name. Hes working on colors now, speaking and signing them. Matching them with his MANY cars.

Sophie, on the first day of school Finally had enough with her speech processor, Refusing to Wear it in public at ALL! Despite the many daily efforts by us, her teacher, her intreperter, the school audiologist, her Private Speech therapists and Oto Doc, Its been our loosing battle. Doc Said, Hes never seen a child refuse the use of it, and it isnt painful, theres no physical reason why she shouldnt or couldnt wear it, it just is that She seems to CARELESS about sound. Its not embarrassment, She has classmates that wear hearing aids, Has Best friends with other physical needs, that she adores and "mothers" as Her Teacher says. So its a continued working progress as We are nnow forcing use each evening at home. In School, Sophie went from just scribbling here and there, to Coloring full pages, and tracing works. Memorized her name and what it looks like written out. And I was just informed this morning, she Knows EACH AND EVERY classmates sign name, and uses them to tell the teacher whats going on in the class room. Does her preschool duties on her own, helps her best friends when oooops they fell asleep! hahaha. uses Sign to tell us what she wants, or needs and ASKS for it. Not nearly as much Screaming coming from her cute face :) We got her up to 5 sounds this month. buh, luh, puh,dad,mom. Accompanied by sign of course. And ALL done with our the aid of the speech processor.

Im very proud of my Children and how far the year 2012 has taken them. Im excited to see where we are this time next year when all is said and done, And Sophies in her 2nd year at the hh preschool. And Emilys in 1st grade full time. Ryan possibly in preschool himself, as he is SOOOO ready to be among Kids his own age.

For the fact We had a Crazy year with the Army, we are happy, and safe and together. Bumpy roads have taken us here...hopefully a smoother path this year, I think its Due.
We went from Deployment status, to hawaii, to nope fenced in unit, to asigned to a non fenced unit so Matt can go to MP school, to Orders being canceled,possible new deployment to mp class being canceled and held off to 2014, to well maybe mp class before 2014, to Germany orders, to Germany orders Canceled,2nd deployment a no go, to Waiting for HRC to have a "home" for Matt that provides for Sophies needs, with a MP class at the same time being scheduled. ITS PING PONG PEOPLE! WE are Dizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy Think its sad, the Lady who deals with his has Matts social and Sophies birthday memorized, because Shes had to deal with so much of matts Paper work hahahahaha.We cant wait to have concrete orders. This Decker Family is READY for a New moving adventure, Where ever that may lead us.

Which Hopefully will be, where there is a strong deaf community. People who are nice and caring and WANT to be around our Craziness. Who share the same similarities with Sophie, Where All our kids can grow and flourish. So we can watch each other Zoooooooom in the ASL realm.

I hope that Other families That barely knew anything about deafness, and asl, and Cochlear implants can one day learn and appreciate that ASL is Such A wonderful Language. That Hearing while Essential in this Dominate hearing World, that our mind adapts to Language how ever it is first introduced to us as A Child. I've learned the Reguardless of Sophie not wanting to use her processor that she knows A great deal of HOW LIFE WORKS. Shes Social, shes not too shy, Shes hilarious, understands jokes,Colors, numbers,shapes, same and difference, right and wrong, when to be serious, when to play and how to involve herself, when others want to exclude her. She Can read your face before you sign or say how you feel (shes a lip reader). Cued speech is starting in and shes picking that up too. She doesnt NEED to hear you say "Go sit down and Eat" Because she sees us Sign it. She knows how to put her clothes on, shoes, brush teeth, what a hair dryer is for, where to put her dirty laundry, how to make her bed and put away her hundreds of SUPER HERO toys :) Sometimes I forget that Shes only 4. She seems Well beyond her years.
Trust us, We understand the importance of having the implant put in so young, BRAIN SPONGE!!! yea yea we get it. But We also are smart enough to realize each kid is different, the learning curve changes with each personality,and the desire to wear it has to be there. That Sometimes the Implant isnt liked, or wanted. And That in the future she may want to use it full time and even get the 2nd to WHICH WE WILL DEFINTELY be leaving her to make that decision. 2 ears are better then one, sure, but shes got beautiful hands too ;) Language IS IMPORTANT in every aspect. We choose ASL. And Through ASL We see change, in all our kids, We see wonder and excitment to learn and advance with ASL. NOW if we can only have our prayer to be next to a full Deaf School, then WE WOULD BE ALLLLLLLLLL GOOD!
I feel we are a blessed family, because of many things, which include Sophies Deafness. For it has made us humbled, it has made us aware, and more in tuned with life and people, and family life. We acknowledge All difference. We Embrace Change and The Challenges We as a family have faced because of her being deaf, Sophie Embraces being deaf, and enjoys her quiet world right now. She Smiles and laughs and dances every day. We are thankful for our gift named Sophie. We are thankful for ASL, and Her preschool teachers being SO graceous, and her therapist being A kind and understanding heart.For Trusting our decision as her parents and what we feel is right for her and her future. Our miracle isnt the Cochlear implant...our miracle is having a daughter who thrives for life, however it comes to her. Its Great she CAN hear when she wants too. BUT GUESS WHAT we've made it so its not VITAL for her, Shes courageous and happy because we let her be who she is. Ears on or off. Shes A kid, being a kid, growing up to know that she will make her life a great life by being happy with her choices. For Life is only as good as you make it. One must be happy with themselves and their steps, to be successful. Hearing...speaking....doesnt make up Sophie. SOPHIE makes Sophie.
Emily makes Emily
Ryan makes Ryan
I make myself
Matt makes himself
And Together as A family, we are to lift up each other.
IN

Acceptance

Love

Honesty

As A family, We welcome you 2013.

Cookie cutter

I've actually been trying to think of the right words to say this past week for a blog. Its taken me this long to work myself into writing it. And of course now that I want to. ALL kids are being super clingy. Wanting to sit ON my LAP and me be in their face. Literally making want to rip my own face off lol. Cant mom get just 5 minutes! AHHHHHHH hahhahaha. OK.




I've made it a point for the last year to make sure that I stay tuned to some awesome blogs. Blogs that Can relate to our family and want we want for our family. I've made it a point to also follow different point of views in reguards to having a deaf child. Some blogs are all about the Oral approach and the great benefits of CI's. Others are about ASL, others about Using both ASL and oral. I like to read up on what works for other people, and remind myself that no 2 family are alike.


The Progress that Sophie has made since February in my OPINION, is tremendous. Even in the last Month she has come leaps and bounds. Further than I thought at this point she could be(not that I didnt have faith, and know shes brilliant cuz I do). Not only did she say On the 4th "AH BUG" AND then said "BUG" again later that same evening. BUT shes now also yelling "MOM" when im a ignoring her screams. And Im not kidding. But its not like shes standing there using a low inside voice. She's only using it when YELLING for me. But thats awesome right? So I feel, and will continue to feel thats awesome. But Sophies damn Aural Therapist, begs to differ. Feels that Sophie is no where near where she should be 4 months after implanting. Because shes not using MORE words. Not really puttings beginning sounds together enough, not responding to her name.Or doing task like "sit down" the doll when Rebeccas asks her too. But I ask you..."Did your child respond to their name at 3 or 4 months old?" NO, they reacted to your voice maybe, or smiled to hear you. But if you were behind them calling "Sophie, Ryan, George" or whatever your childs name was, at 4 months they are not going to turn around and look at you. And in retro spec. Sophie's only 4 months old in the hearing world. NOT to mention the fact it had been quit the battle to even get her into wearing her processor full time. Its been just over a month now that she wears it almost all day. That she will ask for it,(sometimes) or tell me it has to be on...due to us being outdoors, or out and about runnning errands.
She is doing well in my opinion again like I said. She bopps to music. She points out helicopters that fly over head. She turns to comfort Ryan when shes crying. Will mimic a Sneeze after she herself does it. AND laughs when you say Ouch, and will want to hurt you again cuz its funny. Will copy someone coughing. Makes an umph sound where you would usually hear something, like taking a picture you hear the click. So in pretend play Sophie "clicks" with a umph. She says "poosh" when Pointing a gun and pulling the trigger (playing of course) She counts to 3 on her hand and then grunts for "go". And During her last therapy, AGAIN when Rebecca and I were speaking and Not paying attention to Sophie, while she played she was making noise "bahs" everytime a chip would land in this cool connect 4 toy. "BAH" = Bounce. HELLO!!!!! and yet again A person who sees Sophie 1x every 2 weeks is grading her low. And Im annoyed and pissed. AND think, how can they judge her in a session, in 45 minutes time, a girl whos not a trained monkey and doesnt want to "perform" for someone she barely knows.
Then theres Sign language. BEAUTIFUL sign language. Our Sophie is finally using it to really get her point across. Now putting 2 and 3 signs together. often its "boy, where, scary" while on my lap telling me that Ryans on his way to scare Sophie. Which they do often, chase eachother from room to room, Ryan roaring like a monster and the girls running and screaming in "fear". Its so cute. But AMAZINGLY just this week, Sophie has FINALLY replaced "boy" sign with Ryans NAME SIGN. Which is the same sign for boy but with your hand making an "R". "Ryan, where,scary" "I want dad" "more milk please" "movie on" "processor off please" "skirt on" "shoes, outside, play". And as I see it all written out, and As I was thinking to myself this morning while Signing with Sophie about eating breakfast sitting dow, or she will have 5 minutes in time out....I realized. How naive I was a year ago about signing. Really till 2 months ago. As Sophie started to really catch on and sign more, and using ASL never using helping words like me. ASL is the way to go. ha. Who knew? All the talk about Speaking when you sign and ultimately you want Sophie to speak, so using S.E.E and words like the, it, is. TO form proper sentences, was the right idea. But really is takes SOOOOOOOO LONG. Sophie is 3, she doesnt have an attention span long enough to wait for my point."where is the ball, go get it please" takes way longer then signing "ball,where? please get" I always knew the difference in S.E.E and ASL. and knew that ASL why it takes so long to learn is because of grammer. Propper deafie sign. :) But long term....its the best to use. It may not make sense when Speaking and signing at the same time. BUT We've always said sign language is Soph's 1st language and we want and need to continue with it. Being a part of the deaf community however we can be is KEY! Even if that only means meeeting up with groups, or attention conferences a few times a year. Even if we do not get a duty station close to a school for the deaf (our biggest hope).

My point is that Sophie isnt your average CI user, ASL speaker, or cookie cutter deaf toddler. She seems to be my little master piece who has been made according to Gods Grace. and is who she is for God's Purpose. Not the purpose that Seattle Childrens Hospital wants to see her as...the cookie cutter patient. She fits in, our family, the quirky, insane, loud, crazy, busy, family we are. Im so thankful for Signing. Im thankful for her communicating things now. Her understanding punishment when shes mean, that she must say Sorry and give kisses when she hurts someone. She knows what a time out is, and that I mean business. She understands bedtime better now. Especially now that she and Emily have separate bedtimes. She knows ALL her colors, counts to 5 in sign. Is learning her letters. NOW finally will sign animals. Signs about Shopping and money like a Little girl always knows best. Is in the 3 year old tattle tale phase, but thankfully its when Something Serious is happening that Im not aware of. AND ALL THRU ASL. Im all for her hearing (obvisouly) speaking and being a part of the hearing world. But Come on People. Shes using language. Her IEP scored her right at her age group for all things but speaking. She knows her shit! Shes Brilliant. And with School right around the corner. I expect By Christmas she will know more then I do.

Im just tired of people putting these expectations on her. Im tired of therapy. So far shes not learning anything of value, that We don't do at home. I want everyone to realize that ASL is just as good as listening, and speaking. LIFE GOES ON! With or without working ears. Saw in a blog today an artistic horse. Where they painted eyes on the Horses ears. Ceramic of course lol. With a sign below it saying MY EYES ARE MY EARS. ANd I love that.
We may live in a hearing world. But there are millions who do not hear. and The World is still rotating. The World still goes on. They still live and florish, and smile, and laugh, and get humor, and fall in love. Live their dreams and write books, give speeches, and win games and pageants. Still play music and sing. have babies and have high powered jobs. Buy houses, give back to the community. Deaf People live! They live life just like a photo I saw this morning as well "LIVE LIFE LIKE SOMEONE LEFT THE GATE OPEN" and a little fluffy dog running so fast with a big smile on its face for the gate! :) If you take hearing out of the situation....You'd never know they wear deaf. In a society where we are all about anit-bullying. We should also be anti-stereo typing as well. Give people chances and stand for whats right. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT.
If I can teach my kids anything, besides having compassion, it would be to Give everything a chance, and stand out. Have expectations for yourself and live up to then, not for what people WANT you to be. Because how can that make you happy? Dont people please by letting yourself turn into something you arent and not happy with.

Life is that much Sweeter because of Sophie. And Emily, and Ryan. And who cares what everyone sees. We are who we are. Totally NOT a cookie cutter family.

Heres some photos from July 4th. Dont mind Emily without a top on. COuldnt find her swim suit and she refused to wear a tank. oops! lol.

BASEBALL while waiting for the fireworks. Totally Sophies sport. She squats like that here in this pic when shes ready to pitch too, its so cute. Shes awesome at it. Emily however, her sport is def, track and field. SHES LIKE SUPER FAST. like Just as Fast as Matt already. its amazing. Ryans sport has yet to be determined. Currently he is into being ALL boy, knocking things over and yelling "I DID IT" beating things with the bat when they are all ready down, racing cars and big trucks around the yards. ALL AMERICA KIDS I tell ya!

Thanks for Reading

From babes

PLEASE EXCUSE SOPHIES MORNING BED HEAD. As per our routine, Breakfast time means Processor time. On while watching some tunes, and eating a lil something. Never lasts too long, but the point for now is to get her nerves exposed to sound as often as possible. I have been on the Phone again this week with Docs, trying to get our referral for closer Therapy into the system. So Aural Therapy has not begun yet. An update for Sophies success is that she still hates it. Fights me, cries, hides to take it off, hides it under things. We've had success with her wearing them out in public so much hasnt changed. Im sure once therapy begins her perception will change. Maybe even as she sees the wonderful skins (aka stickers) Her Great Aunt Pam got for her will make her seem more interested in them. They arrived yesterday and as per Pams request We let sophie open the envelope they came in. She pulled them out and looked confused...and then excited. Thinking they were just cool big stickers. lol. Im sure. She peeled them off and I put them on the processor which seemed to take forever. But they look darn cute. Baby steps in the hearing world. baby steps.


Last night tho I could not shut my mind down for bed. It took me way long even after some allergy meds (which usually knocks me out)before I fell asleep. Not to mention Sophie getting up a few times. I swear if Im thinking about her, In the same moment I will hear her yell or cry because she woke up with something out of place. Im not kidding.
But the Reason I was thinking about Sophie last night, had a lot to do with something I experienced via facebook that day. Which caused me to think about Different kinds of Sign language, and how we do not really consider ourselves to use a specific type yet. Meaning, Often we use ASL, but we also include helping words and in Exact English Form, where we sign the same word we are speaking. In ASL, of course Word placement As Ive blogged before is different, much like when you learn Spanish.
Deaf community as Ive been told refers to that as pigeon signing.
Yet, in true form of being a child, untainted by meanings, and propaganda Sophie has oddly enough Shown me something incredible.
Sophie uses real ASL~ She puts the on before the shoe. the Shopping before the go. Dad before Where. Not every sign is perfect, not every sign right, but oh my goodness. How funny, that For me...Im stuck in my wanting to use the,this,is,it because I sign and talk at the same time. But because Sophie only signs, she doesnt add in the,is, or it. She understands her Language as the community sees it, with out ever knowing anyone from that world. How coooooool. Last night I thought about the sentences she uses, the format she does it in, and the results I give her.
All these little tells, moves me into more and more believing that Sophie is comfortable in who she is. And its OUR JOB to make sure that continues. Her not wanting to wear her hearing device has prompted her to WANT TO SIGN MORE! N Communicate well. Even Ryan is picking up other signs now and using them.

Communication! Communication is KEY! But what if you were missing a sense that allows for you to communicate with everyone? After all it is said that our sense of hearing allows us to gather, process, and interpret.We use sound to acknowledge what is around us. Sound triggers memories, waves in sensations. Can keep us safe by warning us whats coming or whats near.Right? All important. All needed. But not essential. I feel. Sure i'd miss the heck out of my hearing should I loose it. But If I put myself in Sophies personal situation, I can see why the immediate change in what she hears can be off putting.
For argument sake I understand why doctors in the ENT field will push said Cochlear Implants, and other hearing devices on Families with Very young children. I understand the mind is a sponge the younger we are. And that Sound helps our Brain to function in multiple ways. Learning to listen sparks brain cells, memory, and expands the brain capacity. The more information you obtain the more you hold right?
I read something recently that Its not all about SOUND for children who are deaf. Sound is not going to make their brain Bigger, them smarter or their Capacity to retain information greater. its COMMUNICATION that is going to do that. Learning How to relate things, understand things, LANGUAGE~ I've heard every spew about how extremely important language is for Sophie. Language to communicate, to gain knowledge, to grow, to understand, to progress. All referring to the spoken language. BUT I BEG to differ. As my life continues to see Sophies progress right before my eyes. Through Sign language, shes expanding her knowledge, shes learning, shes retaining information, shes bright, and funny. I didnt teach her that Egg is to bird. Yet When I signed egg the other night she signed Bird. I didnt teach her Fish is to water, but with Sign language and relation, and absorption, and using her other senses...She knows that, and can tell me that.
In the animal World. Many mammals are born without the sense of hearing. In fact its the VERY LAST sense to develop. Meanwhile, the tiny furry newborns thrive, grow, learn and take in tons of knowledge before week 3 when the sense of sound starts to open up. Animals Again later in life can loose their hearing, We take pity on them...but really they are just fine. A horse with less or no hearing goes about his Horse life perfectly happy. adapting. Progressing, Successful, less timid. Still graceful, galloping, trotting and prancing along. Still enjoys the wind in his hair as he runs and plays. Still loves. Still understands. Thats my Sophie!

IF Only we werent so obstructed by the hearing world.

If only I too had gone with my gut. And my gut the night before and the morning of the surgery. Sophie wouldnt have this giant lump on her. She would touch the side of her ear and sign "I dont know". She wouldnt hate the processor. If we had waited a few more years...Letting her make that decision.
AS of right now, in her 3 year old mind, her deafness is freedom, her hearing device is punishment. If she didnt feel that way, she wouldnt run covering her ear at the site of me picking it up to turn the battery on.

Other people have their opinions of it. her reactions, her fits about it. Have hopes for her liking it, using it, needing it. All I want is her to decide whats right. Shes happy as is, we are happy when shes happy. Love her for her. N all in all, thats what we hold onto. We are not holding onto hope that shes gonna use it, we are holding on to her! Following her. Obviously she knows whats right for her already, hence her crafty ASLING skills. ;)


FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES right? In her Case From the Hands! Children, deaf, hearing, blind, anything amaze me in what they know...its US adults who loose the sense of MIND as we age. Maybe, we should listen to a child more often!

Just a Monday Morning Ramble

Phew~ What a Night we Had. Patriots Lost the Superbowl to the Giants no less,found out Taxes are taking a ton of dough we need for back tax, and Sophia had me up till 2am. Ryan...woke up at 6am. Needless to say Ive been running on Coffee all morning. But it got my house tidy and laundry in the process of being finished. Mondays I love to Do a Big clean of the house to rid of The weekend left overs, when everyone in home together, and we are lazy.
Amazingly enough tho, Spirits here seem to be Pretty chipper. Honey I blew up the Kid AGAIN is lullying the kids to silence (for now) and they had a nice play date early this morning. My watching a few kids for a friend has been a HUGE benefit for our kids. THey enjoy having someone non related there to play with and Make up games with. Share snacks and Watch a funny movie with. Its not always easy with Ryan being Sensitive and crying when hes even Looked at By the Youngest Daughter but....He will get over that soon. I HOPE!
I was on the edge of the Sofa watching the last 2 minutes of the Superbowl. Eyes closed tight once Brady got The Ball for one last Try to get it down the Field and Score a BIG WIN. But Sadly my boys didnt pull it off. Madonnas Superbowl special was BORING as hell. The only thing that sparked my interest was the special graphics all else Failed in entertaining me Greatly. However I did Love the National Anthem But I truly wish NBC showed even a piece of the ASL rendition as I read that Miss Deaf America was to be there signing...BUT WHERE? WHY WAS SHE NOT SHOWN? and if it wasnt her, why wasnt any signer Shown? BOOOOOOOOOO network for cutting that from the program.

As today starts the first full week of February and Marks 10 days till this Surgery for implanting Sophie, Im here to dedicate the next days to Little Sophia Gabrielle..."gabby" as we have been going around called each other for fun by our Middle names this weekend.

I find it unsettling this Surgery. Not just for the fact shes going under, or the process or the pain she will be in, but for that fact that STILL, Im wondering if Implanting is the right choice.
I Had thought that once the appointments were done and the schedule made I'd be settled on one side...implant side. But I AM NOT. I can still say with my whole heart that I do not know if its the right choice. I can say with 98% I DO NOT WANT HER IMPLANTED. But I have to remember its not my life, and its not JUST my decision, Its a decision as a family, in what will make Sophie Happy. Key Word "happy". As of right now Shes a happy little girl, expressive, and funny, witty and smart.
I know many of you out there have a different opinion, and WANT Sophie Implanted, and look at me with disappointment for wanting it not to happen for her. But I have to emphasize, No one Knows Sophie better then her family, US the 5 of us. Not one Knows Sophie better then ME, as I communicate with her 24/7....hahaha truly 24/7 as she has bad insomnia.
I guess, Fact is Sophie is Sophie Because she is unable to hear. Shes not ravaged by the poor language I have hahaha, or that of the World around her. Shes not brought down by the fact she can not hear the TV. She Enjoys movies every much. Laughs at what is funny. Mimics the Facial and body expressions. Understands the story line. Gets excited when an important part of the movie takes place. Has her favorites. Adores Books and Puzzles.
She is every bit a 3 year old as the next. Hearing or not. So when People feel as tho, shes not normal...or can not fit in...or be successful...or smart...or communicate It Sux. "oh ye of little faith"
Sure often times I wonder "how does she Think?" ligit right? I mean As I type now I think of my words...But For Sophie, is it All Pictures in her mind...signs....?? Let me take Last night for example. Sophie was having a rough night, she wanted me by her side till she fell asleep...At 830pm I was there rubbing her back and she passed out. But At 11pm she was up again upset and wanting me in her room. She we put on Anastasia and I had hoped she'd fall asleep, instead her stubborn little self Fought every heavy eye, every rubbing of her cheek (her fav) rubbing of her back, and legs, and forehead, I even massaged her shoulders and kneck and Back of head. YET....I was the one Knodding out more then her. The Entire movie we watched and I was still sitting in the room. Every move I made away from her would Jolt her into tears and Loud yells. So there I waited. When the Movie was over I refused to put a new one in. So she laid there, being Sophie...thinking. Not needing me but just wanted me there as a comfort. I watched her as she pointed to the ceiling over and over, chattering her teeth and laughing, squinting and sign babbling with her hands in the air. Smiling, then winking,the cowering like "frightened" then Woooping in a low voice, and doing it all over again as IF, shes thinking the same ideas over and over. It was Beautiful to see. But How I'd love to get a glimpse into those very thoughts.
My point is Im not worried about the success of Our Sophia. Im not worried about Progress, OR HOW something will come about.
I find it a tad....bothersome when People will ask me "how does she learn if she cant hear" While I understand we are a hearing World...Theres deaf culture for a reason. Its as simple of an answer as "just like every other kid, You arent born knowing that a ball is called BALL by making the sounds B.A.L.L You are taught. Sign language is the same, You are taught by association, that sign goes with that item."
Sign Language is not easy. Theres no much to learn, ASL has its own unique system, and value and style. Lots for someone who has never studied it before to pick up. So I understand how it is "different" for someone to wrap their mind around. But I must say Im very sad that Friends and Family, who are curious about Sophie, do not have the desire to LEARN ANY SIGN LANGUAGE to help them better communicate. For Although this is a hearing world, We will NOT be forcing Sophie, TO Conform to the Hearing world and ALWAYS be the one adjusting her comfort zones for hearing friends and family.
An Implant, for a child especially who knows nothing of sound for 3 years, is not going to make her a hearing citizen. Do not misunderstand what this implant will do, it DOESNT NOT REPLACE HEARING, but allows her to learn what sounds are. Again I will re-state that we will NOT BE forcing this device on her. We Will not be MAKING her listen, or use her words if she is not wanting to just yet. As someone not here in our day to day life, It is easy for you to judge that to be whatever you want...but Because Im not Pro implant, Im not pro Aural Therapy Either. Sign language will forever be her 1st language and Our 2nd, and We are more then happy to be the ones who dedicate ourselves to learning a Brand new lanuage and such to not bombard Sophie with more then she needs. Being Deaf is not Terrible. If you were ever given the choice to be Deaf or Blind I BET 95% of you's would say you'd prefer to be DEAF.
Just as The family of a Blind Child cant run to a Doctor to fix their blindness, but they live a life full of acceptance, as should families of Deaf Members. So again, this implant is to allow Sophie to access sound, But its not to re-define her. Im afraid to lose the Sophie she is, because she is then not as expressive with her face and body language.
I dont want us to use WORDS as the Easy way out. Its not easy for Sophie....(right now) so how does that make it fair. We are not forcing anything, and Will be going against tons the therapist says Im sure, and Im sure Ill just be Yesing them to Death, And let Sophie learn at a pace shes comfortable with.
Truly making this Decker Family, A bi-lingual, and Bi-cultural family.
I just hope that Should we be moving back to NY that people who WANT TO be in Sophia's life on a regular bases, WILL in fact, pick up a Signing book, or view ASL webpage often, and start picking up the language, learning MORE then just ENOUGH to get by. At least this Proud Mama OF a Deaf Daughter can hope for it~

Simply By Taste

Its been a good long while since I have posted anything here on my blog. Gosh I cant believe it. For A while Now Ive been wanting to post, but not exactly sure of how to start it. Writers Block? Maybe. With lots to say, and not really sure how to get it all out...at least with out me soundly like a lunatic...AGAIN :)
But then it hit me. In regards to a facebooks status someone I know posted, that had to do with Creationism vs Evolution. It started to make me think about differences of opinion. Different thought processes, back grounds, beliefs and life styles. Different opinions. Right or Wrong not having anything to do with how the person chooses to live life.
There are some people out there who would very much prefer to indulge in sweet Cherry pie

Vs the tarty goodness of a beautiful Apple pie. Some do not like pie at all. Some think Pie doesnt just have to be a dessert

While some of us love to wake up each morning and smell the salt ocean Waters, others like the feeling of being secluded and lost in the mountains, surrounded by air and Wild life.

Just as Some of us are believers in Christ and others do not understand. Like understanding the difference between religion and believing. Its hard for some to grasp the amount of Power that is From Our heavenly father, and to believe in such things as Heaven, hell, Satan, and Angels.
I have the beliefs that were recorded from with in the Bible. While Im not a perfect Christian, I do not use what I know about my Savior, and forgiveness and my salvation to be an excuse to do Horrible things. I do my best to still walk a worthy, Christ like Life, and Allow others to form their own opinions about their life.

In other ways we all differ from our taste in LOCATION~ thehehe. Im an advid mover. Mover of all movers, who long for change and open road and meeting new people and seeing fresh new Places. Some however prefer to live in the same place their entire life. Never really embracing the land that The Lord has provided for us to explore. Some prefer the West...Some the East. Others the South. In my little World Tho ive seen many places theres things about Each side of the GREAT U.S.A that I love.
West vs East. Ive gained a little bit more understanding of the convited West coast. The Laid back People, the year round weather, the Hippie Life style, the Convertable car weather, Tons of Dog parks, Long Summer nights, Beautiful Sea life at your finger tips. But The New Yorker in Me will always love the East Coast, New York being #1 always. From the "real" types of People, the Wonderful accent (though Orange County really has an accent of their own, kind of a North Jersey meets Brooklyn fusion kind of thing)The Attitude, the Culture, the Fashion,The Nail tip wearing style hoarding types. The let me get in your face, then kiss you like we are sisters kind of fighting. grudge holding, honestly Wonderful New Yorkers. Not to mention the Only place you can get Chinese Food that Looks like it should, and Pizza that Makes you want to Fly back to New York for one day for.
The West Coast chinese Food

THis is "sweet and Sour Chicken" here.
Where as I much prefer the Greasey New York Version of Sweet and Sour Chicken cuz lets face it, if youre gonna indulge INDULGE man.

Then of course, pizza. Its a no brainer....Gotta get New York real pizza man. All out here For sure...is just mediocre

Best

Best things to be Getting West of the Mississippi Would be California Rolls, Fish Tacos and anything with Veggies.


Course, my opinion leaves everything else known to our country in the Middle. And How do you really choose the best...What makes you right? What changes your mind, and converts you to forming a new idea???


Simply by Taste.

We all prefer one thing over another...we choose to live a certain way, a believe in things we see, or feel. We go with our gut feelings.
My taste in Clothes, food and Beliefs may not be in your taste. But Its why GOD created us to be individuals, equal among men, but Reaching to be something more.

So here we are. About to Start February, 16 days away from Sophie's ear surgery, which I havent really been touching base on publicly, as it is a sensitive subject still in my heart, mind and family.

With that in Mind, our choice to implant Sophies ear, isnt really because we find it to be the right thing to do. Truth be told, I felt guilty thinking about Not implanting her because the "world" around us thinks other wise. So We ARE NOT implanting Sophie to "FIX" her. Shes not broken. Shes not less then anyone. Shes not limited. Shes Sophie. Simply Sophie. Our Choice has led us to also decide that Implantation will also not be allowed to define her. As the World wants us to push sounds, and speaking and voices and her using her voice on her...that Will not be the case in our house. Our FEELINGS are as such, that if she doesnt want to...we wont make her...if shes tired of it, she doesnt have to use it, if she feels like skipping therapy, So be it. I want her to have environmental awareness and having an implant will get her that. However, Vocal needs...NO. We are A Signing family and will remain to be. Others have their opinion on our situation, but no one knows Sophie better then we do. This Device is not a fix it...its a helper, and she can decide later what she wants to do with it....our choice!



Happy Tuesday Friends, it was A good January, Hope it ends well for all