Sophie's Choice

Moms!!!!!!!!!



Have You ever been in a group, out in public or in a moment where You notice peoples physical reaction to your children?
Whether its for a tantrum in public, mismatching outfits, or something more personal, like in our case, being deaf.
The face of disbelief, the face of disgust?
I've been conscience of societies reactions. The pure rudeness and gal of what people think they can say, or do to complete strangers. It is appalling. I have witness, Children who start to play with Sophie and then ask "whats wrong with her?" and once they are told she can't hear, and she doesn't talk, they start to distance themselves. I've been asked by adults, who then look like a deer in head lights, who get stiff and do not know what to say so, they make a face, and turn and walk away..."ok Goodbye to you too, thanks for chatting" said in my head, not out loud, though I probably should. I've witnessed while being in the home of someone we know, not want to even look at her, I've watched parents allow their kids to treat Sophie is disrespect. They show their ignorance to something that's perfectly ok, and yet because its not in their everyday, they make the "gross" face. Its like shes diseased...
Ohhh no Don't touch my daughter, or you'll be deaf too...kind of deal.
Which as Sophie gets older she starts to notice.
She notices the little girl who wont look at her, when Sophie is trying hard to get her attention.
She notices the boy who stops playing with her.
She notices the face expression that the parents have on their face, the one that's different towards Emily, and Ryan. The Smiling face that says "hi" when we see them, that quickly turns to just a slight grin and...no Hi, And Guess what...I notice it too!
Because we are naturally able to hear We are also around more families that are hearing as well. In a hearing World. Sophie has and does well to adjust herself to be in the hearing world as best as she can. But she shouldn't always have to.
we have been lucky to have found a small tight knit community that understands our family dynamic. To have placed Sophie in ASL education where we have watched her take off at lightening speed. Its Been Sophies Choice.
To watch her Story tell, to watch her explain, to watch her understand, to watch her Absorb language. Her Language. Its been an amazing experience.
One we have noticed is sometimes hard for people to understand.
People want so badly to make everything "better". They want perfection, they want what they see as normal to be...normal.

In talking with a friend this morning, she used the word normal is such a simplistic, yet awesome way. "this is your new normal"
One of those silent "uh ha" moments happen in my head...like DUH Bec! What a terrific way to explain that to those who just do not get it. That Having ASL in our lives is our new normal, and sharing it with as many people as possible is a testimony to the Joy that knowing ASL can bring. Advocating that its OK to be accepting to all things and sharing all kinds of things, thus making this sometimes, dark and stormy, World a bit brighter.

I've been told by close family and friends that we should NOT EXPECT those around us to learn ASL. That Sophie is one person, and its would be easier to just have her use the gifts of technology to come through into their "world".
BUT
Why shouldn't I expect that. Like a "Hey you want to hang with us, Learn a bit as ASL, so You can communicate with all of us as a whole" Right? YES!!! We can't be the friend, the mom, the wife, the daughter (in-law), Son (in-law) sister, Aunt, Uncle, Brother, Husband, AND ALWAYS TRANSLATE. We of course Aren't expecting you to learn it all, or understand it all, We are still students of the language ourselves, but I don't think its asking too much, especially of close family and friends, to learn the basic's...average 100 Signs, (not including the alphabet) Its really NOT MUCH! And Its not too much to take in, it benefits, Your brain, it strengthens you bond with Sophie. All she asks for is love and attention. To fully know her, means to understand her, How else will you get the gist of her story tell, or her joke, or the tricks she likes to play on people. OH THE MIGHTY POWER OF LANGUAGE!
Any language, any knowledge is good knowledge and works the brain, and keeps the cells active.

I've had countless people, say "oh you know Theres this thing that fixes hearing, right, the cochlear implant, you should get her that" "Oh why doesn't she talk?" "whats wrong with her?" "why is she so loud, can't she be quiet?"
Its reallllllly annoying. You know theres better ways of asking questions Folks. and Truly, If You do not know anything about Cochlear implants, or whether or not we have one, or was looking into one, you should NEVER tell someone to get it to fix their child. Theres Nothing Wrong with being deaf. Not to mention, everything that comes along with the device. Its a wonderful invention, it works awesome, and helps, it allows hearing to happen, but theres so much more then comes along with it. So much work that the person has to do on a day to day basis. Its NOT A FIX. Its wonderful, we have witnessed great differences, and seen the power of Cochlear implants. We may get to see it through our Sophie one day. But please don't expect us to force it on her. Its Sophie's Choice

Matt and I both share the fear of what would happen to our children should GOD FORBID anything happen to us both. Who would be the best match to take our kiddo's. And We fear that without family ACCEPTING ASL as its necessity, and as Sophies MAIN language, that she will suffer even more. Her comfort, has never been hearing, but in seeing. If You take away her parents, and her communication, and force upon her something not vital to her very own existence...what does she have left? Its important for us to document, Sophies Choice. While we continue to ask her to use the C.I. While we are still on the path of fixing it and setting up Aural Therapies. We will always use ASL. We will always ALLOW our CHILDREN TO DECIDE what works for them. We try and come from a place of yes as often as possible. We are trying to instill independent virtues in all 3 kids. showing them that we support their choices.Giving them enough guidance to make smart ones, but ones that will work for them, and their future. Who Am I to say, what they can study, or what colleges they can Attend, Who are we, to say where they can live or how far away, or who to love. ya know? If we can provide a solid foundation, and show love and respect for them starting even this young, then we can assure ourselves that their future is grand. Their choices!
I hope that should something happen to Matt and I, those next in line to care for our children can honor that, honor our way of parenting. We are honest, and allow real life in their life, while also nurturing silly fun fantasy like, Santa Claus and the tooth fairy! I couldn't image it being any other way.


Matt and I lucked up with these Kiddo's. As crazy and loud as we all are as a group. As trying as times can be, as hair pulling as these kids ages are (especially 3s) We have this beautiful thing called Family.




American Sign language ROCKS!

To Be or Not to Be? Whats the real question HEAR!?

Ignorance Is Truly Bliss!


Have You ever Gone to see A doctor and Wonder after the appointment...If they really can relate? Or Understand? have been there done that? With Exception to oncologists, cardiologist, And ophthalmologist...Who Ultimately Do wear Glasses and/or Contacts eventually...

I have...

Lets Take GYN's and OB's for example that are men!
Ever Wonder if they went into the profession so they can sit in front of a womans VAG all day!?
And then think, "well hey dude, How can I trust you REALLY understand when you have a penis?"

Seriously What young 20yr old MALE goes into med School thinking, OH Im picking this field because I know I can truly make A difference in the lower region of Womens lives, And I'll Extend it to Obstetrics Because I can relate to A pregnant Women and their Child......I THINK NOT PEOPLE!

Not to mention the fact its the most, intimate Medical Profession.

Whats my point?

My Point is, that I wonder if these, Audiologists, Speech Pathologists, ENT Doctors and Otolarynologist, Have spent MORE then a few days with Someone whos hard of hearing or Profoundly deaf? Wonder If They had, If they would have the Same conclusions they have now...
I feel like its important to get on a more personal level to be able to relate to families and patients To see A broader Spectrum of Possibilities.Especially since, Really they do not care what your story is for being in their office. They want medical facts, and Want to know you desire medically for the future. MOST Of what they say, Comes with a cold Front, and Simply "scientific" replies, as to WHY this is important...and why this is necessary, and What will happen in the future. LIKE THEY KNOW FOR SURE~
Professionals are always quick to Boast about their success rate, successful patients and stories TO WARM the heart. I understand its to give Hope...But then Ask them about When It didnt go so successfully, Like with Sophie, And their demeanor and Tone Changes. Its no longer with a smile, or happy Chuckle in their story. Their Eyes aren't bright when Speaking About cases where The Child just wants NOTHING to do with wearing this machine...

Side note...

Isn't it the case with Most places...In reference to Doctors offices, that the Nurses are the key players in EVERYTHING. Doctors are in and out, quick, usually cold...I feel like Maybe The smart way to become a doctor Should have meant that its a prerequisites  to Be a Nurse first, Then BE MD...Whatever you like to be Called.

Obviously I KNOW WE CAN NOT ALL EXPERIENCE the same way. Lives aren't long enough to live through every possible scenario. Im Not an idiot!

Im just saying it would be nice to relate more, and get less text book answers.

Im reminded That Sophia, Is one of the "rare" cases. In which Youth at a super young age, have already made up their own mind, their avenue of Communication. Being told that While its Not The "normal" (theres that word again) But that it does Sometimes happen. Making it that much harder to try and sway them in any other direction.


I understand that for those who have experienced Hearing loss, Or my New favorite Term thanks to "switched at birth" ..deaf gain...Are super sad, scared, scrambling for a fix it,and fix it now, route. That it would be defeating almost to have to struggle to hear, what you could always hear before.
However, I can also understand that Its a different way of life for those who's earliest memories come from silence. Where nothing BUT SOUND is new, and frightening and weird.
The Cochlear implant is a fantastic device, yes! Successfully helping those who are hard of hearing to Function Easier in this Dominate hearing World. A recipient, Knows they are still and forever will be deaf, But as Ive heard from friends, family and strangers, They see it as a way to NO LONGER BE DEAF. While thats a very false Statement, In a way, I guess it helps these hearing folk, be more ACCEPTING! They no longer see that person as deaf, and welcome them...(that sounds so bad, but its the truth, people have said that, and done that...funny huh?...)
Acceptance is a tricky thing, its not really our human nature (for most of us anyway) Something that Has to be taught, and at that Taught when Young so it sticks...Which goes along with Our family being told that scientifically, Sophie must learn speech before a certain age or it all turns to "garbage"..Their WORD USED, not my Word.
Acceptance Is something I CHOOSE to use, instead of the word Tolerance. Tolerance implies that Deep down you are still uneasy about something, but you just go with it. Acceptance is SOUL DEEP. And WHY tolerance is something WE DO NOT TEACH ABOUT IN THIS HOUSE. Our Children are being caught the importance of accepting Everyone, Culture, looks, "difference", Challenge, daily life adventures.

We feel its important to nurture Sophia's Desire to just be a kid. Her choices are just as important. Her Lifes path should be her own. AS Should All our childrens. We are not sad that Sophie is deaf. We are not sad she doesnt use her voice to speak words to us. We Communicate amazingly. This week I was informed how impressive my ASL has gotten, that its Fantastic to see that Sophie has picked it up So well. Does what every other 4 year old does, Some better, And has A bright future (duh). If speech is the only thing impacted When Sophie is an adult, then The Good Lord knows, Matt and I did A damn good job. If Speech is the only thing people want to HOLD against her...Then We will teach her that most people are ignorant, and that Shes strong enough to with stand, and maybe make that person whistle a different tune, after they meet.

When Sophie was first "diagnosed"...though Again not a term I love.
We were asked, well...How will she learn?
                                    Will she learn her ABC's and count?
                                     Be able to follow directions?
                                     How do you teach someone who doesnt hear?
                                     What kind of future can she have without sound?

My answer to all?

American Sign Language.

Its a real language you know?

Now almost 3 years later. Sophie can...

Dress herself, follow 3 step directions, Writes out "mom, dad, Emily, Ryan, Sophia" when We ask her too. Writes her letters, Knows numbers 1-10...How many 4 year olds do you know, that not only can recognize Letters in print, in sign, and then be able to write them out? Or In sign alone in Sophie case when we practice our daily writing skills. SHES A SPONGE, rather speaking or not. Because ASL is An actual structural language, To which We are taught things with. Has meaning, and just as A hearing child learns....A Deaf Child Learns through ASL.The brain receptively ACCEPTS the sign and remembers it for its meaning. People want to call it visual Cues...FINE call it what you will. But Do we not do MOST EVERYTHING with our eyes. We Are able to Live and be successful even without the sense of Sound. Did you know, that in the Canine World, hearing is the last thing to Develop? In fact All dogs are only born with one functioning sense, The sense of Smell. Personally, If I lost my sense of smell....that would be more horrible then the sense of hearing. bahaha


To Be Deaf, hearing, have Hearing Loss, or deaf Gain. If you are still learning and growing and using the gift God has Given you. Whats the Problem?

Nothing is easy. Whether you are a Deaf, blind, paralyzed or Green plant loving hippy. Some people have it harder then others. True. But All in all, life isn't a cake walk no matter who you are, or where you are lacking. Life is how we make it out to be. Happiness SOLELY depends on us and us alone. When we let the outside World torment us, break us down, hold us back, knock us down...That's when its time to pick OURSELVES back up, re-evaluate, and find our own happiness. Letting the hate, fall to the way side, find your own community and keep them Close to heart. Prayer. And the push, for joy, no matter what fault we own.

To Be Or Not to Be?

Exactly who you are supposed to be

Welcome 2013

Hello 2013


Its been a Very interesting year to say the least. We were a week away this time last year from Sophie getting her 1st cochlear implant on her left side done. It was a Week or torture As I sat every day wondering if we were making the right decision. Even the morning of I sat and thought...Maybe we should wait. Yet, I took our littlest Girl into the hospital and watched as she left my arms, ready to have her life changed.
She was Ready...
I wasnt

In February She had her Activation done...Something she wasnt ready for. She fought us hand over foot for WEEKS to even get the thing on for a few minutes. FINE! We gradually worked her up to KNOWING if we are out and about SHE must wear the processor. I kept it around the Rear view mirror IN the car so she could always see it, And Eventually she would sign to me "hearing aid" when I would get her out of car. She'd turn around and let me put it on so gracefully.

She spent the summer Wearing it outside, Swimming and playing at the play ground. Enjoying Sounds. But the More We went to Bellevues clinic for Aural Therapy the more she started to REJECT the processor all over again

.This Summer we got to spend A wonderful time with Nonna. The Kids adored seeing her every day. Emily was Helping Teach Sophie how to Dance, with our Daily Dance parties. Emily was learning New signs every day. As We prepared for School to start.

Emily was so excited to be meeting new people, To go on the Bus, and Be A BIG KID finally. (my kids are all old soul) She finally felt able to do things ON HER OWN. And My how far shes come now! Doing so well in School, Good Great, 1000s of friends as she puts it. Reading and writing and spelling. Working on Numbers...lol. But with her new glasses we've found, numbers arent as JUMBLED as before. Though she still gets some confused...mother like daughter. Shes begging for a big friend birthday party this year, and Hopes are we can do that for her :)

Ryan, Lord knows, has grown to be such a funny little boy. VERY expressive, even if that means, trying to strip in public when he gets mad at me, pushing things over in anger or laughing at us when in trouble. EXPRESSIVE to say the least really. Hes a bucket of tough, yet mushy, craziness. Signing about 12 different Words on his own now, and Speaking well. Has a bit of a cute lisp with his S's. But thats ok. He is READY for School, knowing most of his letters by site, Working on Numbers and saying his own name. Hes working on colors now, speaking and signing them. Matching them with his MANY cars.

Sophie, on the first day of school Finally had enough with her speech processor, Refusing to Wear it in public at ALL! Despite the many daily efforts by us, her teacher, her intreperter, the school audiologist, her Private Speech therapists and Oto Doc, Its been our loosing battle. Doc Said, Hes never seen a child refuse the use of it, and it isnt painful, theres no physical reason why she shouldnt or couldnt wear it, it just is that She seems to CARELESS about sound. Its not embarrassment, She has classmates that wear hearing aids, Has Best friends with other physical needs, that she adores and "mothers" as Her Teacher says. So its a continued working progress as We are nnow forcing use each evening at home. In School, Sophie went from just scribbling here and there, to Coloring full pages, and tracing works. Memorized her name and what it looks like written out. And I was just informed this morning, she Knows EACH AND EVERY classmates sign name, and uses them to tell the teacher whats going on in the class room. Does her preschool duties on her own, helps her best friends when oooops they fell asleep! hahaha. uses Sign to tell us what she wants, or needs and ASKS for it. Not nearly as much Screaming coming from her cute face :) We got her up to 5 sounds this month. buh, luh, puh,dad,mom. Accompanied by sign of course. And ALL done with our the aid of the speech processor.

Im very proud of my Children and how far the year 2012 has taken them. Im excited to see where we are this time next year when all is said and done, And Sophies in her 2nd year at the hh preschool. And Emilys in 1st grade full time. Ryan possibly in preschool himself, as he is SOOOO ready to be among Kids his own age.

For the fact We had a Crazy year with the Army, we are happy, and safe and together. Bumpy roads have taken us here...hopefully a smoother path this year, I think its Due.
We went from Deployment status, to hawaii, to nope fenced in unit, to asigned to a non fenced unit so Matt can go to MP school, to Orders being canceled,possible new deployment to mp class being canceled and held off to 2014, to well maybe mp class before 2014, to Germany orders, to Germany orders Canceled,2nd deployment a no go, to Waiting for HRC to have a "home" for Matt that provides for Sophies needs, with a MP class at the same time being scheduled. ITS PING PONG PEOPLE! WE are Dizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy Think its sad, the Lady who deals with his has Matts social and Sophies birthday memorized, because Shes had to deal with so much of matts Paper work hahahahaha.We cant wait to have concrete orders. This Decker Family is READY for a New moving adventure, Where ever that may lead us.

Which Hopefully will be, where there is a strong deaf community. People who are nice and caring and WANT to be around our Craziness. Who share the same similarities with Sophie, Where All our kids can grow and flourish. So we can watch each other Zoooooooom in the ASL realm.

I hope that Other families That barely knew anything about deafness, and asl, and Cochlear implants can one day learn and appreciate that ASL is Such A wonderful Language. That Hearing while Essential in this Dominate hearing World, that our mind adapts to Language how ever it is first introduced to us as A Child. I've learned the Reguardless of Sophie not wanting to use her processor that she knows A great deal of HOW LIFE WORKS. Shes Social, shes not too shy, Shes hilarious, understands jokes,Colors, numbers,shapes, same and difference, right and wrong, when to be serious, when to play and how to involve herself, when others want to exclude her. She Can read your face before you sign or say how you feel (shes a lip reader). Cued speech is starting in and shes picking that up too. She doesnt NEED to hear you say "Go sit down and Eat" Because she sees us Sign it. She knows how to put her clothes on, shoes, brush teeth, what a hair dryer is for, where to put her dirty laundry, how to make her bed and put away her hundreds of SUPER HERO toys :) Sometimes I forget that Shes only 4. She seems Well beyond her years.
Trust us, We understand the importance of having the implant put in so young, BRAIN SPONGE!!! yea yea we get it. But We also are smart enough to realize each kid is different, the learning curve changes with each personality,and the desire to wear it has to be there. That Sometimes the Implant isnt liked, or wanted. And That in the future she may want to use it full time and even get the 2nd to WHICH WE WILL DEFINTELY be leaving her to make that decision. 2 ears are better then one, sure, but shes got beautiful hands too ;) Language IS IMPORTANT in every aspect. We choose ASL. And Through ASL We see change, in all our kids, We see wonder and excitment to learn and advance with ASL. NOW if we can only have our prayer to be next to a full Deaf School, then WE WOULD BE ALLLLLLLLLL GOOD!
I feel we are a blessed family, because of many things, which include Sophies Deafness. For it has made us humbled, it has made us aware, and more in tuned with life and people, and family life. We acknowledge All difference. We Embrace Change and The Challenges We as a family have faced because of her being deaf, Sophie Embraces being deaf, and enjoys her quiet world right now. She Smiles and laughs and dances every day. We are thankful for our gift named Sophie. We are thankful for ASL, and Her preschool teachers being SO graceous, and her therapist being A kind and understanding heart.For Trusting our decision as her parents and what we feel is right for her and her future. Our miracle isnt the Cochlear implant...our miracle is having a daughter who thrives for life, however it comes to her. Its Great she CAN hear when she wants too. BUT GUESS WHAT we've made it so its not VITAL for her, Shes courageous and happy because we let her be who she is. Ears on or off. Shes A kid, being a kid, growing up to know that she will make her life a great life by being happy with her choices. For Life is only as good as you make it. One must be happy with themselves and their steps, to be successful. Hearing...speaking....doesnt make up Sophie. SOPHIE makes Sophie.
Emily makes Emily
Ryan makes Ryan
I make myself
Matt makes himself
And Together as A family, we are to lift up each other.
IN

Acceptance

Love

Honesty

As A family, We welcome you 2013.

Cookie cutter

I've actually been trying to think of the right words to say this past week for a blog. Its taken me this long to work myself into writing it. And of course now that I want to. ALL kids are being super clingy. Wanting to sit ON my LAP and me be in their face. Literally making want to rip my own face off lol. Cant mom get just 5 minutes! AHHHHHHH hahhahaha. OK.




I've made it a point for the last year to make sure that I stay tuned to some awesome blogs. Blogs that Can relate to our family and want we want for our family. I've made it a point to also follow different point of views in reguards to having a deaf child. Some blogs are all about the Oral approach and the great benefits of CI's. Others are about ASL, others about Using both ASL and oral. I like to read up on what works for other people, and remind myself that no 2 family are alike.


The Progress that Sophie has made since February in my OPINION, is tremendous. Even in the last Month she has come leaps and bounds. Further than I thought at this point she could be(not that I didnt have faith, and know shes brilliant cuz I do). Not only did she say On the 4th "AH BUG" AND then said "BUG" again later that same evening. BUT shes now also yelling "MOM" when im a ignoring her screams. And Im not kidding. But its not like shes standing there using a low inside voice. She's only using it when YELLING for me. But thats awesome right? So I feel, and will continue to feel thats awesome. But Sophies damn Aural Therapist, begs to differ. Feels that Sophie is no where near where she should be 4 months after implanting. Because shes not using MORE words. Not really puttings beginning sounds together enough, not responding to her name.Or doing task like "sit down" the doll when Rebeccas asks her too. But I ask you..."Did your child respond to their name at 3 or 4 months old?" NO, they reacted to your voice maybe, or smiled to hear you. But if you were behind them calling "Sophie, Ryan, George" or whatever your childs name was, at 4 months they are not going to turn around and look at you. And in retro spec. Sophie's only 4 months old in the hearing world. NOT to mention the fact it had been quit the battle to even get her into wearing her processor full time. Its been just over a month now that she wears it almost all day. That she will ask for it,(sometimes) or tell me it has to be on...due to us being outdoors, or out and about runnning errands.
She is doing well in my opinion again like I said. She bopps to music. She points out helicopters that fly over head. She turns to comfort Ryan when shes crying. Will mimic a Sneeze after she herself does it. AND laughs when you say Ouch, and will want to hurt you again cuz its funny. Will copy someone coughing. Makes an umph sound where you would usually hear something, like taking a picture you hear the click. So in pretend play Sophie "clicks" with a umph. She says "poosh" when Pointing a gun and pulling the trigger (playing of course) She counts to 3 on her hand and then grunts for "go". And During her last therapy, AGAIN when Rebecca and I were speaking and Not paying attention to Sophie, while she played she was making noise "bahs" everytime a chip would land in this cool connect 4 toy. "BAH" = Bounce. HELLO!!!!! and yet again A person who sees Sophie 1x every 2 weeks is grading her low. And Im annoyed and pissed. AND think, how can they judge her in a session, in 45 minutes time, a girl whos not a trained monkey and doesnt want to "perform" for someone she barely knows.
Then theres Sign language. BEAUTIFUL sign language. Our Sophie is finally using it to really get her point across. Now putting 2 and 3 signs together. often its "boy, where, scary" while on my lap telling me that Ryans on his way to scare Sophie. Which they do often, chase eachother from room to room, Ryan roaring like a monster and the girls running and screaming in "fear". Its so cute. But AMAZINGLY just this week, Sophie has FINALLY replaced "boy" sign with Ryans NAME SIGN. Which is the same sign for boy but with your hand making an "R". "Ryan, where,scary" "I want dad" "more milk please" "movie on" "processor off please" "skirt on" "shoes, outside, play". And as I see it all written out, and As I was thinking to myself this morning while Signing with Sophie about eating breakfast sitting dow, or she will have 5 minutes in time out....I realized. How naive I was a year ago about signing. Really till 2 months ago. As Sophie started to really catch on and sign more, and using ASL never using helping words like me. ASL is the way to go. ha. Who knew? All the talk about Speaking when you sign and ultimately you want Sophie to speak, so using S.E.E and words like the, it, is. TO form proper sentences, was the right idea. But really is takes SOOOOOOOO LONG. Sophie is 3, she doesnt have an attention span long enough to wait for my point."where is the ball, go get it please" takes way longer then signing "ball,where? please get" I always knew the difference in S.E.E and ASL. and knew that ASL why it takes so long to learn is because of grammer. Propper deafie sign. :) But long term....its the best to use. It may not make sense when Speaking and signing at the same time. BUT We've always said sign language is Soph's 1st language and we want and need to continue with it. Being a part of the deaf community however we can be is KEY! Even if that only means meeeting up with groups, or attention conferences a few times a year. Even if we do not get a duty station close to a school for the deaf (our biggest hope).

My point is that Sophie isnt your average CI user, ASL speaker, or cookie cutter deaf toddler. She seems to be my little master piece who has been made according to Gods Grace. and is who she is for God's Purpose. Not the purpose that Seattle Childrens Hospital wants to see her as...the cookie cutter patient. She fits in, our family, the quirky, insane, loud, crazy, busy, family we are. Im so thankful for Signing. Im thankful for her communicating things now. Her understanding punishment when shes mean, that she must say Sorry and give kisses when she hurts someone. She knows what a time out is, and that I mean business. She understands bedtime better now. Especially now that she and Emily have separate bedtimes. She knows ALL her colors, counts to 5 in sign. Is learning her letters. NOW finally will sign animals. Signs about Shopping and money like a Little girl always knows best. Is in the 3 year old tattle tale phase, but thankfully its when Something Serious is happening that Im not aware of. AND ALL THRU ASL. Im all for her hearing (obvisouly) speaking and being a part of the hearing world. But Come on People. Shes using language. Her IEP scored her right at her age group for all things but speaking. She knows her shit! Shes Brilliant. And with School right around the corner. I expect By Christmas she will know more then I do.

Im just tired of people putting these expectations on her. Im tired of therapy. So far shes not learning anything of value, that We don't do at home. I want everyone to realize that ASL is just as good as listening, and speaking. LIFE GOES ON! With or without working ears. Saw in a blog today an artistic horse. Where they painted eyes on the Horses ears. Ceramic of course lol. With a sign below it saying MY EYES ARE MY EARS. ANd I love that.
We may live in a hearing world. But there are millions who do not hear. and The World is still rotating. The World still goes on. They still live and florish, and smile, and laugh, and get humor, and fall in love. Live their dreams and write books, give speeches, and win games and pageants. Still play music and sing. have babies and have high powered jobs. Buy houses, give back to the community. Deaf People live! They live life just like a photo I saw this morning as well "LIVE LIFE LIKE SOMEONE LEFT THE GATE OPEN" and a little fluffy dog running so fast with a big smile on its face for the gate! :) If you take hearing out of the situation....You'd never know they wear deaf. In a society where we are all about anit-bullying. We should also be anti-stereo typing as well. Give people chances and stand for whats right. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT.
If I can teach my kids anything, besides having compassion, it would be to Give everything a chance, and stand out. Have expectations for yourself and live up to then, not for what people WANT you to be. Because how can that make you happy? Dont people please by letting yourself turn into something you arent and not happy with.

Life is that much Sweeter because of Sophie. And Emily, and Ryan. And who cares what everyone sees. We are who we are. Totally NOT a cookie cutter family.

Heres some photos from July 4th. Dont mind Emily without a top on. COuldnt find her swim suit and she refused to wear a tank. oops! lol.

BASEBALL while waiting for the fireworks. Totally Sophies sport. She squats like that here in this pic when shes ready to pitch too, its so cute. Shes awesome at it. Emily however, her sport is def, track and field. SHES LIKE SUPER FAST. like Just as Fast as Matt already. its amazing. Ryans sport has yet to be determined. Currently he is into being ALL boy, knocking things over and yelling "I DID IT" beating things with the bat when they are all ready down, racing cars and big trucks around the yards. ALL AMERICA KIDS I tell ya!

Thanks for Reading

In Harmony

Sync.
In Harmony.
Comes Natural.


It dawned on me last night, that I should ask the Therapist to ready the Harmony processor. Because After all it looks similiar to the hearing aids that Sophie Finally got used to.

So thats what she did.

And Today was a fabulous Session.
She didnt cry, or cringe, or take it off, and was able to sit thru the 3rd level witho

ut noticing much
So She upped all the channels on the 2 processors.
The Difference between the two, is the Harmony, is bulky, and on the ear. its large, it dangles and is heavy. No sound beeping when she takes it off, and It needs the battery attached to even be on.
The Neptune, Like i explained before is light, easy, simple, and lets me know when its off. Plus its not for the ear.

So now that we have both in working order we can jump around to figure out what suits her best, until shes ready to be a single user.

Like I said. We had a good day. Tho, its 235pm and Sophie didnt even nap on the way back from Seattle.

We will be back for more fine tuning in April. So till then, wish us luck that we reach the goal of keeping her on her loudest setting.

From the Moon to Neptune

Rocket Rocket BOOM, BOOM
Off to Neptune.

The Journey to The Moon was quit interesting. Baby moon walking and Giant leaps of faith toward a Product to Introduce hearing.
An Experience I had Hopes (even dispite my doubts)would give her a Famously wonderful OUT of this World Experience.
AS each time with Her processor Progresses, I still do not find my doubts and regrets to fall from my waist line. They still lingure there, holding me down. But thats not a big surprise.


Meanwhile, Neptune. the 8th planet in our own Solar system. Named after the Roman God of the Seas...Perfect fit for my Swimmmmy Fish Sophie. WIth its Highest Winds and Strong Magnetic field gave Advanced Bionics the Idea and allowed them to Wonderfully name their Processor after this Blue Planet.

We've changed our Rockets Course. Neptune is where Our new Adventure and Foreign rein shall be. We will conquer the harsh realities of the Neptune Atmosphere, and Make it suitable for Sophie...our family. And Turn something that Has given doubts into joy. It May not be our Home away from home for a while, as we settle into this new World. But Maybe one day it will be. At Sophies pace of Course. As she continues to experience little Jolts of discomfort, and "growing pains" from Sounds and vibrations.
The Processor is Super Simple. its Easy for Her to even use herself. To put on, take off, change battery, change channel. The mere Size of a lipstick and Almost like a headphone piece that goes on an Ipod.

Its been difficult to make her keep it on extensively. So we Let her take Breaks now and then. Back on it goes...sometimes a while, sometimes its only 5 minutes before shes running to her room as tho to hide and remove it. I did for the 1st time get a smile when I showed her it this morning. Put it on her...then it led to tears...and only 15 minutes of wear time. But in my book thats ok. Testing testing 1,2,3 right.So we try again and again and get her used to it.

Can not say with Ease that Im glad we did this to her. I can not say I like it, but I can also say I dont not like it. Im giving it a chance just as much as her. Therapy soon. Maybe she will respond better to strangers then us. Only time will tell.


Rocket Rocket BOOM, BOOM
off to Neptune

Journey to The Moon: Sophies Implant Journey Part 2

Her Journey to the Moon, Began on a very rough note.
Running on about 3 hrs of sleep, for She, I and Emily. Due to Sophies new post surgery habit on 230am wake up calls that last till after 4am.
So her then 615am wake up from me, wasnt too....FRIENDLY. Even though I came in PEACE.
We only were Running 5 minutes behind my set schedule I had planned. BUT Everything after getting in the van just didnt want to work out. I forgot the address and we did a U-E to get it. The bagel line was EXtremely long. and then traffic at a stand still at times, and 30m/h others, made us 45 minutes late to said appointment. I LOATHE being late. I was horrified. Making Our time with the Tech From Seattle Childrens Hospital incomplete, as we were not able to get a reading on the level of frequencies the Lady was setting Sophies Neptune to.
We brought our entire Family, after all what an Adventure. Right? First hearing Experience for Soph. We wanted to be there to support. Matts Notion that Ryan would be the problem child was OUT OF THE WORLD WRONG. He did fantastic, playing With Sophie and the Audiologist. It was Emily that Filled a bucket of tears, with her fits over not playing...I should say NOT liking any of the Toys the Ladies were giving her to play with. Matt had to leave the Room often to Well....Speak with her, in his Daddy tone. At first Sophie took to the Processor on her head.

Then once it came off it was a fight to set it back on her. Eventually she got there. And as it was tested. You can see it in her face and body language how she was feeling about "SOUNDS" as the room was filled with us loud Deckers. Must have been more the Overwhelming for her Im sure. I saw her Cringe...duck...squint...lay her head on the table, after each adjustment to the channels. Then when it was Removed for us to learn how to use this insane EQUIPMENT she went about Playing Nice and quiet.

She Refused to let anyone put it on her again, before our Car ride home. We gave up after about 10 minutes of trying to convince her. But in the car she took it by hand (off) to hold and learn, and Test...as she tried to put it on herself but didnt understand why it wouldnt stay.
She went right down for a nap when we got home, so it wasnt until after that I put it on her for the first time at home. First 5 minutes...went well. I then heard it BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP meaning it was off her implant. But When I put it on again she freaked out SCARED almost like it was hurting her...not so much hurt but the sensation is unfamiliar to her. She was kicking and screaming and rolling and Then jumped in my arms, EVERYTIME I talked she screamed louder then touched it She GOT so up set she threw up on me. ugh....So We try again tonight. And in the morning and so on and so on till its not AS scary.
After all 3 years of utter silence to enter into a crazy world where EVERYTHING makes noise...ID be ripping it off too.


So If you are interested on the Videos from her activation today. They are now up on my Youtube page.
Hopefully this link works. Or you can copy and paste if it doesnt.


http://youtu.be/qoE2Q1NXauA





More Videos from today after this one, just follow the link



Why Call it Journey to The Moon? Well Why not? Its Foreign Right? This is like a whole other World for her. Slow Steady Moon walking Steps toward being able to Communicate in everyway, but ultimately in which ever way she Chooses.

Back on Monday and THursday again for adjustments. Then Should be starting Therapy here in Tacoma Shortly.

Thanks For Taking this Journey with us.

Sophies Implant story Part 1: The Beginning

Ive been holding back this post for days now. Unsure of what I really wanted to share. Unsure if I should share. But of course, Here I am writting. Tho Im sure as today is hectic, Ill be leaving it unfinished for a while and wont post it until later.

Bare with me friends...




As Most of my readers are aware of, Sophie had her Cochlear implant surgery on the left ear. February 16th. It was a Thursday. Done By Dr. Crawford, Pediatrics ENT surgeon at Madigan Army Medical Center, here at Fort Lewis WASHINGTON.
We Opted to go with Advanced Bionics, and two separate processors, The NEW NEPTUNE (Sophia is the first Child in The Seattle Metro Area who will be fitted for this specific Processor,which is kind of cool) as well as the 2nd processor the Much loved Harmony.
We had Pre-op on Feb 13th A Monday early in the morning. Quick and easy minus a Sophie melt down while waiting.
Matt Had taken 2 weeks off of Leave for this surgery and to be here for her healing process, THANK THE LORD. This was his actual FIRST TIME ever taking time off from ANY JOB (besides a few days here and there for Child Births or PCSing with the Army) Hes got this last full week with us, and its been WONDERFUL having him home, truly sad that he will be going back to a regular schedule, cuz Ive been spoiled with him home 24/7.

I had been doing my best to prepare Sophie for her upcoming event but, how do you explain something so serious to a little 3 year old. Showed her the neptune booklet, which eventually that same day got torn to shredds by her...."heres your sign" yeppppp
I also was preparing Emily in the same manner, showing her pictures, explaining whats about to happen, and why wrestling and rough housing will be limited for a few weeks after. Why Sophie would be in pain and so forth.

The day finally came, I actually did sleep a good few hours, just enough to make me get thru the day. The alarm went off at 5am, I was up by 530 lol. Got myself ready in peace, warmed up the van and waited till the very last 10 minutes before we had to leave to make sure, the thought of her morning routine wasnt really in her sleepy mind...aka FOOOOOOOOD~ as of course she wasnt allowed to eat for 12 hours before the surgery. Of course, she woke up easy, perky and ready to get her shoes on. She asked me once to eat while we were driving the 10 minutes to the hospital. So I tried to distract her thoughts with the "face mask" the nurse gave her at Pre-op to make the going to sleep part not as scary...I pointed out cars, and Soldiers running for PT, formations of Soldiers in front of medical companies and had her dancing to some beats in the car...COURSE the beats she can feel. As she LOVES music and LOVES to dance.
We parked in a very empty lot. Close to pediatrics yet far from surgery. PURPOSELY. Text my Jackie as I was enjoying the fact she text me bright and early and was thinking of Sophia on her crazy day.
We made the long walk across the hospital Sophia was a peach, pointing at the photos of water, and ships, birds and such that madigan had hanging in the wall, waving at every worker who walked by. Smiles...SMILES...more SMILES.....That I had a gut feeling were not going to stick around.
And I was right, not even 2 seconds after walking into PRE-OP the same place she pitched a Sophie melt Down 2 days before SHE STARTED TO MELT DOWN AGAIN. Pulling me from exit to exit, throwing pamphlets and Didnt even want to go in the childrens waiting room where more children were watching a Disney Movie. I wasnt allowed to sit, and she now gave the stink EYE to every passer byer. Once her name was called and we had to walk out the exit...she was fine, thinking that was easy, but not realizing we had a new room to enter to dress her in a gown. I walked with her thru that door and again.......MONSTER SOPHIE SPRUNG INTO ACTION. At the sign in window I warned the ladies that she was in a mood and Being WAY LOUD. Something thats hard to get under control.
MY SMART LITTLE DRAMA QUEEN KNEW SOMETHING WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, LIFE WOULD BE CHANGING, and that she would be coming out a new...and pain filled Sophie. Right away they had us change in the room...this is the product of that activity

As you can see she was not having the gown. To the fact I left her own pants on. Didnt even both putting the hospital ones on. Tried to calm her down before we walked out of the cubby hole. BUT>> that didnt work. The lady was nice tho and calm, just said "you have to remember we have other people around".....Well Im sorry but NO SHIT...shes more then welcome to take a crack at it. We opted to stay in the locker area instead of the waiting room with other patients. Two of whom were young kids waiting for their own surgery. When a little boys turn came to change, and Sophie was freaking out he came in and looked at her and got upset right away, refusing to change. I explained how its different for her, that she cant hear, and just feels that shes about to experience something she doesnt understand, but his damn grandmother just gave me the most evil look. IF ONLY I CAUGHT THAT WITH A PICTURE....It was ICE COLD.
The Nurse then said. "well stay here in this room, Ill give you a wheelchair to sit down with her" Sophie hopped up on that thing and calmed down. Her notorious finger pacifier went right to her mouth, as she hummed and pointed from locker to locker, We signed numbers together, and counted. I gave her a pen and paper to help pass the time. We had already been at the hospital since 645am!~ YEP 645 AM~~~

Funny enough when Doctor Crawford came into see her and explain whats next to me. SHE WAS ALLLLLLLLLLLL SMILES and nice to him. Everyone else including me kept getting shunned by her, but ohhhh no, not him. Maybe that was a good sign. We waited a tab more before Anesth. Doc came in. By then she was up off the chair and playing with the locker locks. The Gentle man explained everything again I said "all I care about is making sure you take GOOD CARE OF MY BABY" He said "of course I have 4 of my own, I will take great care of her dont worry, it will be over in roughly 2 or 2and half hours" Picked Sophie up after I kissed her sweet face and she walked away in his arms QUIETLY~IT WAS 8:03am by then.
I COULD NOT BARE THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO THE WAITING ROOM AT THAT MOMENT. in fact my legs wouldnt let me. So I wandered the halls, grabbed 2 separate cups of coffee, text a little when I got service

After an hour of walking I found my place in the waiting room. Watched as call after call to the families waiting came into the waiting room. Thought it was strange that more then 75% of "come see the patient surgery is over and they are awake" came via calls to the waiting room, instead of a nurse or doctor coming....But leave it to a military hospital to fore-go bedside manner.
I read a few old mags, and actually Saw some great articles like "the snob diet" which was an interesting read, and made perfect sense. to the Latest worst and best dressed in life and style.

was texting and texting and texting and was glad to do so, It was helping more so much. My leg however, that has this odd twitch to it ever since my csection, was GOING BONKERS, My leg kept finching and popping up at odd moments, so I just kept them swinging While I sat...HAHAH PERKS OF BEING SHORT in a chair.

FINALLLLLLLLY longer then I thought surgery would go, Dr. Crawford came and got me. Said that she did wonderful, she didnt give them problems before hand, and that the cord went into her Cochlea just fine. The Only issue was that her skin is thin, so the implant was sticking out some, leaving a larger then "average" bump on the side of her head, right behind her ear. And....that while waking up she was a bit, well SOPHIE. I dropped my purse when I saw her, grabbed her and sat with her. Her eyes closed and her whining. Pulling at the ear cover that had to band across her forehead. She was wiggling, and crying, and punching me in the head, then holding me tight. then punching me again and ripped off her ear cover 3 times. BY THE 3rd she chucked it so far, WE COULD NOT FIND IT. Come to find out, they were waiting, and didnt give her any pain meds. Untill I said plz give her something...which then took 10 minutes to do so, resulting in my own pony tail then pulling pulled to the side and FRIZZ everywhere. As soon as that med was in her IV, down she went....and slept. THANK THE LORD.
An hr into recovery discharge papers were signed. Replacement ear covers gotten and the nurse even went to the pharmacy for me and got the meds we needed for her at home. She was set into a wheel chair and we got walked out to the VAN. THANK GOODNESS WE ONLY LIVE 10 mins away as she was insane. MAD. and I was nervous she'd start pulling at her ear again. especially since she still refused to where the ear piece. BUT WE MADE IT HOME. TIP TOP SHAPE. but her sad and hurting. She cuddled right on my lap on the sofa and We sat and sat and sat, she slepted a little. N I got a few good shots of her boo boo

MY POOOOOOOOOOOOOR baby. But at least she didnt get stitches, they used Skin glue instead.
We decided to spend the rest of the day and night in my room. Just she and I and the bed and TV. And there we camped for about 16 hours straight. The next day she was in better spirits. NOT WONDERFUL, but wonderful enough to ask me to give her a bath. She ate half a pain dry bagel, a few go-gurts and the only problem she gave me was taking the codiene. Guess it taste is gross. Later that day I noticed her cheek and temple BLOWN UP, very swollen, and called in the Doctor tho they were closed for training, the emergency line was open, she told me shes page him and he'd call......BUT I NEVER GOT A CALL.

this is as good as she would let me get of her face swelled up

But regardless she was feeling better, she pretty much stayed in her room watching Scooby doo all day, OVER AND OVER, to her liking, its her fav new thing. But I insisted on having her sleep in my room again with me. So Emily and Daddy camped in the livingroom on the pull out bed.
She pretty much slept thru the second night. Which wasnt the case the 1st night, she was up and up and up and watched Disney for hrs. as I tried to snooze and she'd bust me in my face for having my eyes closed...yep she hates to let me sleep while shes up alone.
But we made it thru. After 2 nights we let her sleep in her room. She got up after 3am and sooooo gently and cute(ly) pointed to her ear, and made a confused sad face...indicating pain. Took her meds, turned on scooby AGAIN FOR HER then she eventually drifted back to sleep.
Here we are MONDAY, shes jumping around, didnt take any pain meds today, tho I tried to give her some. She danced and roller skated, played with the new puppy Jesse and has adjusted well. Swelling went down some and she even went out Yard saling with us this weekend. Emily understands to take it easy, though has to be reminded at some moments. But has shown affection and i love you signs all weekend to her sissy. Ryans clueless but ha thats ok. he wont remember any of this.
Our Appointment in Seattle for her Activation is scheduled for March 15th as of right now....

ITs been a long few days, Im a bit overwhelmed. Still not team implant, but who knows that could change. Im sad I put her thru the drama and pain. and CONFUSION mostly. But IM SO GLAD ITS ALL OVER. I still have concerns about the implant being in there. What about her loving to wrestle, and playing baseball (her fav sport) what if she wants to play soccer. the risks are extremely high of taking a shot to the head. DOES THIS CHANGE A LOT OF ACTIVE POSSIBLITIES FOR MY BABY. my sporty, tom boyish baby girl??????????
Ill always have something that concerns me...I know, but they only thing that was limiting her was NOT hearing before. AND NOW....it seems to be more limiting having this THING in her head.
I just cant seem to find any peace in it, AT ALL.

But at least she is ok. It went well, shes getting better, and feeling herself again...beautiful and funny as always

Just a Monday Morning Ramble

Phew~ What a Night we Had. Patriots Lost the Superbowl to the Giants no less,found out Taxes are taking a ton of dough we need for back tax, and Sophia had me up till 2am. Ryan...woke up at 6am. Needless to say Ive been running on Coffee all morning. But it got my house tidy and laundry in the process of being finished. Mondays I love to Do a Big clean of the house to rid of The weekend left overs, when everyone in home together, and we are lazy.
Amazingly enough tho, Spirits here seem to be Pretty chipper. Honey I blew up the Kid AGAIN is lullying the kids to silence (for now) and they had a nice play date early this morning. My watching a few kids for a friend has been a HUGE benefit for our kids. THey enjoy having someone non related there to play with and Make up games with. Share snacks and Watch a funny movie with. Its not always easy with Ryan being Sensitive and crying when hes even Looked at By the Youngest Daughter but....He will get over that soon. I HOPE!
I was on the edge of the Sofa watching the last 2 minutes of the Superbowl. Eyes closed tight once Brady got The Ball for one last Try to get it down the Field and Score a BIG WIN. But Sadly my boys didnt pull it off. Madonnas Superbowl special was BORING as hell. The only thing that sparked my interest was the special graphics all else Failed in entertaining me Greatly. However I did Love the National Anthem But I truly wish NBC showed even a piece of the ASL rendition as I read that Miss Deaf America was to be there signing...BUT WHERE? WHY WAS SHE NOT SHOWN? and if it wasnt her, why wasnt any signer Shown? BOOOOOOOOOO network for cutting that from the program.

As today starts the first full week of February and Marks 10 days till this Surgery for implanting Sophie, Im here to dedicate the next days to Little Sophia Gabrielle..."gabby" as we have been going around called each other for fun by our Middle names this weekend.

I find it unsettling this Surgery. Not just for the fact shes going under, or the process or the pain she will be in, but for that fact that STILL, Im wondering if Implanting is the right choice.
I Had thought that once the appointments were done and the schedule made I'd be settled on one side...implant side. But I AM NOT. I can still say with my whole heart that I do not know if its the right choice. I can say with 98% I DO NOT WANT HER IMPLANTED. But I have to remember its not my life, and its not JUST my decision, Its a decision as a family, in what will make Sophie Happy. Key Word "happy". As of right now Shes a happy little girl, expressive, and funny, witty and smart.
I know many of you out there have a different opinion, and WANT Sophie Implanted, and look at me with disappointment for wanting it not to happen for her. But I have to emphasize, No one Knows Sophie better then her family, US the 5 of us. Not one Knows Sophie better then ME, as I communicate with her 24/7....hahaha truly 24/7 as she has bad insomnia.
I guess, Fact is Sophie is Sophie Because she is unable to hear. Shes not ravaged by the poor language I have hahaha, or that of the World around her. Shes not brought down by the fact she can not hear the TV. She Enjoys movies every much. Laughs at what is funny. Mimics the Facial and body expressions. Understands the story line. Gets excited when an important part of the movie takes place. Has her favorites. Adores Books and Puzzles.
She is every bit a 3 year old as the next. Hearing or not. So when People feel as tho, shes not normal...or can not fit in...or be successful...or smart...or communicate It Sux. "oh ye of little faith"
Sure often times I wonder "how does she Think?" ligit right? I mean As I type now I think of my words...But For Sophie, is it All Pictures in her mind...signs....?? Let me take Last night for example. Sophie was having a rough night, she wanted me by her side till she fell asleep...At 830pm I was there rubbing her back and she passed out. But At 11pm she was up again upset and wanting me in her room. She we put on Anastasia and I had hoped she'd fall asleep, instead her stubborn little self Fought every heavy eye, every rubbing of her cheek (her fav) rubbing of her back, and legs, and forehead, I even massaged her shoulders and kneck and Back of head. YET....I was the one Knodding out more then her. The Entire movie we watched and I was still sitting in the room. Every move I made away from her would Jolt her into tears and Loud yells. So there I waited. When the Movie was over I refused to put a new one in. So she laid there, being Sophie...thinking. Not needing me but just wanted me there as a comfort. I watched her as she pointed to the ceiling over and over, chattering her teeth and laughing, squinting and sign babbling with her hands in the air. Smiling, then winking,the cowering like "frightened" then Woooping in a low voice, and doing it all over again as IF, shes thinking the same ideas over and over. It was Beautiful to see. But How I'd love to get a glimpse into those very thoughts.
My point is Im not worried about the success of Our Sophia. Im not worried about Progress, OR HOW something will come about.
I find it a tad....bothersome when People will ask me "how does she learn if she cant hear" While I understand we are a hearing World...Theres deaf culture for a reason. Its as simple of an answer as "just like every other kid, You arent born knowing that a ball is called BALL by making the sounds B.A.L.L You are taught. Sign language is the same, You are taught by association, that sign goes with that item."
Sign Language is not easy. Theres no much to learn, ASL has its own unique system, and value and style. Lots for someone who has never studied it before to pick up. So I understand how it is "different" for someone to wrap their mind around. But I must say Im very sad that Friends and Family, who are curious about Sophie, do not have the desire to LEARN ANY SIGN LANGUAGE to help them better communicate. For Although this is a hearing world, We will NOT be forcing Sophie, TO Conform to the Hearing world and ALWAYS be the one adjusting her comfort zones for hearing friends and family.
An Implant, for a child especially who knows nothing of sound for 3 years, is not going to make her a hearing citizen. Do not misunderstand what this implant will do, it DOESNT NOT REPLACE HEARING, but allows her to learn what sounds are. Again I will re-state that we will NOT BE forcing this device on her. We Will not be MAKING her listen, or use her words if she is not wanting to just yet. As someone not here in our day to day life, It is easy for you to judge that to be whatever you want...but Because Im not Pro implant, Im not pro Aural Therapy Either. Sign language will forever be her 1st language and Our 2nd, and We are more then happy to be the ones who dedicate ourselves to learning a Brand new lanuage and such to not bombard Sophie with more then she needs. Being Deaf is not Terrible. If you were ever given the choice to be Deaf or Blind I BET 95% of you's would say you'd prefer to be DEAF.
Just as The family of a Blind Child cant run to a Doctor to fix their blindness, but they live a life full of acceptance, as should families of Deaf Members. So again, this implant is to allow Sophie to access sound, But its not to re-define her. Im afraid to lose the Sophie she is, because she is then not as expressive with her face and body language.
I dont want us to use WORDS as the Easy way out. Its not easy for Sophie....(right now) so how does that make it fair. We are not forcing anything, and Will be going against tons the therapist says Im sure, and Im sure Ill just be Yesing them to Death, And let Sophie learn at a pace shes comfortable with.
Truly making this Decker Family, A bi-lingual, and Bi-cultural family.
I just hope that Should we be moving back to NY that people who WANT TO be in Sophia's life on a regular bases, WILL in fact, pick up a Signing book, or view ASL webpage often, and start picking up the language, learning MORE then just ENOUGH to get by. At least this Proud Mama OF a Deaf Daughter can hope for it~

Simply By Taste

Its been a good long while since I have posted anything here on my blog. Gosh I cant believe it. For A while Now Ive been wanting to post, but not exactly sure of how to start it. Writers Block? Maybe. With lots to say, and not really sure how to get it all out...at least with out me soundly like a lunatic...AGAIN :)
But then it hit me. In regards to a facebooks status someone I know posted, that had to do with Creationism vs Evolution. It started to make me think about differences of opinion. Different thought processes, back grounds, beliefs and life styles. Different opinions. Right or Wrong not having anything to do with how the person chooses to live life.
There are some people out there who would very much prefer to indulge in sweet Cherry pie

Vs the tarty goodness of a beautiful Apple pie. Some do not like pie at all. Some think Pie doesnt just have to be a dessert

While some of us love to wake up each morning and smell the salt ocean Waters, others like the feeling of being secluded and lost in the mountains, surrounded by air and Wild life.

Just as Some of us are believers in Christ and others do not understand. Like understanding the difference between religion and believing. Its hard for some to grasp the amount of Power that is From Our heavenly father, and to believe in such things as Heaven, hell, Satan, and Angels.
I have the beliefs that were recorded from with in the Bible. While Im not a perfect Christian, I do not use what I know about my Savior, and forgiveness and my salvation to be an excuse to do Horrible things. I do my best to still walk a worthy, Christ like Life, and Allow others to form their own opinions about their life.

In other ways we all differ from our taste in LOCATION~ thehehe. Im an advid mover. Mover of all movers, who long for change and open road and meeting new people and seeing fresh new Places. Some however prefer to live in the same place their entire life. Never really embracing the land that The Lord has provided for us to explore. Some prefer the West...Some the East. Others the South. In my little World Tho ive seen many places theres things about Each side of the GREAT U.S.A that I love.
West vs East. Ive gained a little bit more understanding of the convited West coast. The Laid back People, the year round weather, the Hippie Life style, the Convertable car weather, Tons of Dog parks, Long Summer nights, Beautiful Sea life at your finger tips. But The New Yorker in Me will always love the East Coast, New York being #1 always. From the "real" types of People, the Wonderful accent (though Orange County really has an accent of their own, kind of a North Jersey meets Brooklyn fusion kind of thing)The Attitude, the Culture, the Fashion,The Nail tip wearing style hoarding types. The let me get in your face, then kiss you like we are sisters kind of fighting. grudge holding, honestly Wonderful New Yorkers. Not to mention the Only place you can get Chinese Food that Looks like it should, and Pizza that Makes you want to Fly back to New York for one day for.
The West Coast chinese Food

THis is "sweet and Sour Chicken" here.
Where as I much prefer the Greasey New York Version of Sweet and Sour Chicken cuz lets face it, if youre gonna indulge INDULGE man.

Then of course, pizza. Its a no brainer....Gotta get New York real pizza man. All out here For sure...is just mediocre

Best

Best things to be Getting West of the Mississippi Would be California Rolls, Fish Tacos and anything with Veggies.


Course, my opinion leaves everything else known to our country in the Middle. And How do you really choose the best...What makes you right? What changes your mind, and converts you to forming a new idea???


Simply by Taste.

We all prefer one thing over another...we choose to live a certain way, a believe in things we see, or feel. We go with our gut feelings.
My taste in Clothes, food and Beliefs may not be in your taste. But Its why GOD created us to be individuals, equal among men, but Reaching to be something more.

So here we are. About to Start February, 16 days away from Sophie's ear surgery, which I havent really been touching base on publicly, as it is a sensitive subject still in my heart, mind and family.

With that in Mind, our choice to implant Sophies ear, isnt really because we find it to be the right thing to do. Truth be told, I felt guilty thinking about Not implanting her because the "world" around us thinks other wise. So We ARE NOT implanting Sophie to "FIX" her. Shes not broken. Shes not less then anyone. Shes not limited. Shes Sophie. Simply Sophie. Our Choice has led us to also decide that Implantation will also not be allowed to define her. As the World wants us to push sounds, and speaking and voices and her using her voice on her...that Will not be the case in our house. Our FEELINGS are as such, that if she doesnt want to...we wont make her...if shes tired of it, she doesnt have to use it, if she feels like skipping therapy, So be it. I want her to have environmental awareness and having an implant will get her that. However, Vocal needs...NO. We are A Signing family and will remain to be. Others have their opinion on our situation, but no one knows Sophie better then we do. This Device is not a fix it...its a helper, and she can decide later what she wants to do with it....our choice!



Happy Tuesday Friends, it was A good January, Hope it ends well for all