Saturday, May 9, 2015

The Bud of Joy

I have changed so much, so many times, that it's almost hard to remember who I once was. Not that I really want to, I am a much better person now. Healthier in every sense of the word.

I love that I was finally able to grow emotionally and mentally. To be strong.

I left myself over and over again, springing new life,
Leaving behind that life I knew, that girl I was, that heart I had.

It was imperative to do so.

Most of you have no idea who I am.
Some do, some think they know who I was
Some think they know who I am now. But they don't
no one ever really knows another, I believe.

It's pretty easy to keep to myself, and I happily do so.
I wouldn't enjoy my life's pursuit (Writing) if I wasn't a little bit, secretive.

Life has been damn hard. The things I've allowed to happen in my life have sprung perspective not everyone can relate to, or understand.
You're not meant to, either.
We all go through our lives and learn things and accept things differently. It affects us all differently, molds and shapes us differently.
I've felt the sting of heartache, the fire of lies, the pain of being lost in this harsh world. Felt loss. Tragedy.
I may not always smile, but rest a sure, I know the value of happiness. The fruit of our lives that get us through the dark times, start with the bud of joy. True joy. If you have found that already, don't let that go. If you haven't found that yet, keep searching, find the right one, not a temporary one, and hold onto it for dear life.
Whatever it may be that fills your soul. Makes you smile. That crowds your mind. That gives you feelings you crave.

Because no matter how often we change, no matter who we become, no matter what trials we fight, or battles we lose. That tiny bud, that sliver of peace we have within us, will keep us blooming. Keep us alive. Keep us growing.

Without it, we continue to stand like the barren tree among the spring.