Thursday, February 21, 2013

what Matters

When Faced with the Choice,

To live free or die chained

Whats the Choice you would Make?

Chains can be teathered to anything, Or anybody.

Which often happens even in the best of relationships.

When Faced with the Choice,

To Speak out, or Have a closed Mouth

Whats the Choice you Would Make?

Knowing that Words can get the best of us.

When Faced with the Choice,

To stand up or bare down

Whats the Choice you would Make?

Are you strong enough to Weather any storm, Tall?

We get faced with such questions Every day, in all moments, and for all different kinds of reasons.

We do not always make the best of choices. But Make the choice we feel to be right in the moment.

We are human, and its ok to make Mistakes, and its ok, to make a choice thats going to Change the path of LIFE.

We Are made by the Most precious Lord, and he has given us that right to decide.

Decide when to move on and let go

When to hold on and stay strong

When to fight a battle, or hide in plain sight

To pick our selves up when damaged or crumble at defeat.

To survive the good, the bad and the ugly of our very world.

To remember what Matters, and hold true to ourselves, placing faith in him.

To Remember What MATTERS.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Most People are perfectly afraid of Silence

love is the voice under all silences,
the hope which has no opposite in fear;
the strength so strong mere force is feebleness:
the truth more first than sun more last than star

i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Was in the Mood to Quote A bit of E.E Cummings.

After All I started my own day this morning, Writing a few off the cuff poems. Here in this very blog. Good? Eh Maybe they are. Who Am I to tell, But be it the Writer. Im Partial to my own work, MOST of the time, and Yet My biggest critic.

However, This entry is not about Me!

Cummings has such an ironic prose.
 No two of his poems are close in style, except for the fact, they are just all distinct and odd. Perfectly matched to my crazy Family. And For this days purpose, His Words have stuck with me, in reguards to our littlest Girl! Sophie, with her tiny hands and feet! (currently she wears the same shoe size as Ryan) 4 Sizes Smaller then her sister. So tiny, so cute. So Special, to us! The Quotes above SING Sophie, Sing how I feel! Explain Joy and Love, and something special.

We Got a great report today from her teacher, during our Conference. Sophie "mothers" the Boys in her class, sticks to their side, and leaves the Girls to ummmmm fend for themselves. Our Girl, Is a Boys Girl. From the Blue socks and "cars" themed Rainboots she wears everyday, to the pony tail-less look with her Super hero t-shirt wearing..My tomboy. Everything from the color of her dish, to the ball shes playing with, NO HAVE NO TRACE OF GIRLIE! Nailpolish, however, thats another story, she loves the stuff...any color, but mostly golds and black!

Sophie, has gone above and beyond where she started School in September, her vocabulary (asl) has bloomed, shes using her hands for everything, makes jokes, and plays games, yet According to Teacher Jessica, has been DRAWN into learning lately more about letters, and shapes. Her Coloring has changed,Its not just scribbles anymore. shes drawing actual figures now. Altho her batman she draws looks more like a Giant blueberry with devil horns ;) ;) LOVE HER!

She Enjoys getting different Jobs in Class, her favorite being Line leader, which solves the mystery sign of the last 2 weeks....I had NO IDEA what she was signing, its not like theres an app I can take a picture or video of her signing and ask for the translation....PLEASE! That would be awesome tho!

Teacher Jessica Also solved my mystery of her always signing RAT at odd times, Apparently its one of her classmates name signs, not that hes a rat, but that the name sign in super close. poor kid!

Shes listening well, following directions, has friends, Her teachers adore her. Shes Picky, she likes things HER way, even in class, but, they are still thrilled to have her each day. And Are surprised when I tell them shes been bullying her poor little brother! (acting out since Dads been gone)

Sophie even...showed Them that Her parents are NOT crazy in thinking theres some Sounds she can hear in her right ear, BY covering up and making an "its too loud" face, when an other classmate was flipping out screaming and crying and sitting next to her! OOO and this was WHILE SHE DIDNT HAVE ANY SOUND PROCESSOR TURNED ON!!!!
Thinking for sure we now need to make that ENT appt to see if we can have a Hearing aid fitted for that ear. IN hopes she will get more sound, NOT enough, but more, and then Prompt her to use the Cochlear implanted side, processor. Which by the way, she still hates...We all agree that sometimes Deafies decide early on in their life which form of communication they prefer, and are comfortable using. And ASL right now is Sophies Choice. It can, and May change especially when shes older and making her choice on if she wants to attend a mainstream school with Em and Ry...or she may Always want to use her first Language! And Here in this family, in this house! THAT IS A OK! We must remember, that just because she was implanted, doesnt make her now a Hearing person. She is still and will forever be Deaf! Nothing wrong with that. Shes Blosoomed into an amazing bright and funny little Monster ;) Average super kid. Makes up for her lack of Ways We as Adults Will never be able to do! And too me, thats SO magical! She Is happy, healthy, expressive, communicates, shares stories, jokes around, plays games, LIVES LIFE! And We are proud. Sophia Gabrielle, Just loves her quite World.
"Most People Are Perfectly afraid of Silence" E.E Cummings
Yea Well
She...Embraces it!

dearest Friends

I Write this For you my friend, My Dearest of All Friends.

I have never left you for I care For you

But Sullen have my days been, They are blue.

I fear theres nothing much to do.

Still, You, My Dearest Friend, Have remained So true.

The Sea to which I travel upon,

Has taken My Soul, Oh yes Its Gone.

Teathered and Tattered beaten Aboard.

Longing now to See the shore.

Still, you, My dearest Friend, Do Implore.

For You seek to find me Refuge

But You See, I need not Rescued

I Have Faith In my Lord God

Find Comfort in our Bond

Still, you, My dearest Friend, have abscond

Once again I must Rise up, Must have Hope

I refuse to Walk around and Mope

I have inner strength to get through

Even now without you

My Friend, My dearest of All Friends

Silent nights

Silent nights

Oh So Cold

Laying there

All Alone

Silent nights

In the dark

As I start

To Drift

Silent nights

From Dusk to Dawn

Im on my own

Waiting for my Soldier

To come back home.

From Dusk To Dawn

I see his face

In these Children

We made

I hear his laugh

In their Every task

His Laugh

Silent Nights

But I sing a tune

To the moon

Blue Moon

Silent Nights

Are Gone

Too Soon

Morning Children!

Friday, February 8, 2013

la la la! Ooooo! hmm!

Everybody travels down the path they least likely wanted

Everybody has a moment of weakness

Everybody sees, trouble trouble trouble

Everybody tries to forget.

How can we grow, Up! Knowing How life goes?

How Can we trust our own Hearts and Mind?

Forget the Past, Forgetting our Woes, leaving the bitter, out in the Cold.

Seeking New Shelter, in the Storms path

Knowing the pain, is from, our own personal Wrath

Taking forgranted, The life we perserved

Who who who whooo Are We?

why Must we be, leading a life not free.

Anchored down, by our regrets, Anchored down, By our own mouths.

Gasping for air, as we try to untie.

When Will we see, A difference?

And Will it be Right?

Taking our Chances, yet We are holding tight.








A Piece of our hearts, A piece of our Reason.

Who we once were, and Who we've become, Is never the same, as who we will be


Do we really Change?

Are We stuck with our Simple Brains?

Adapting our sorrows, morals, and life, to the outside Changes?














la la la la, la la la la la, La la la llaaalllaaa

oooooo, ooo, oooooOooo, mmmhmmmhmmmmmhmmm