Saturday, December 31, 2011

Mash up

last January. Wow its been a year already.
Our Sophie had just turned 2, and we were off to pick up her hearing aids for the first time. Her wonderfully pink sparkling aids.

We spent the "winter" in the desert. While it wasnt that COLD per-say. It was definitely crazy with wind. But we fought through it and always did our trips to the beautiful parks they had there.

It was a good run in the Desert and Sometimes I surely do miss it. But now its time for a New Year. A new year~~~~ ALREADY~~~~ Im looking forward to what there is out there for us. what it means for us. what it means for the kids. So much is about to Change. I have to prep myself. Slow down and oace things. Contrate on my family and their needs. Only keep those who Matter close to me. Not sweat the small things.

We traveled and we moved. To a place we had high hopes for.

Love traveling but looking forward to settling down somewhere and just taking long vacations.

So In 2011. Sophie Turned 2, Em turned 4, We found Reese a new home, then Homed a mini chi. Adopted a kitty, and Traveled North to Washington for our New home. Ryan turned 1, We turned 26 and moved onto post at J.B.L.M Got rid of the annoying mini chi and Adopted A tiny black Kitty. Found out we LOVE kitties so much. Visited the Sound and Enjoyed the beaches here. Dressed up for halloween, Celebrated with Some turkey. Started the Cochlear process with Sophie. Learned lots of sign language. Learned a lot about ourselves, our family, and what we can handle and not. Had ups and downs, Fights, and our first date night in a long time. Wrapped a few gifts and let the kids rip them open. LOT of stuff went down this fast year. Im not sad to see things go and a new year start. Theres lots that will betaking action in 2012 and I want this to be our best year to date.
With the changes coming....and a new year here. And Ryan now in a "big boy" bed. I guess its time to kiss the baby years goodbye.

here momma. Im a big kid now. :)

Keep safe, enjoy, kiss your loved ones and Ring in the Year with an awesome state of mind.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Trusty ole Red Book

It wasnt until today that It hit me. ITS JUST US HERE. No friends around, no family to visit with. No bouncing from House to house, no exchanging of gifts and being stuffed with deviled Eggs and Cherry cheesecake.
So we are opting to start our own annual Traditions. Traditions that I hope we will see through until the Children Make families of their own.
So while thinking about What we can do And Having to cook our turkey a head of time, and not liking its flavor. I thought, WHY NOT slow cook the turkey in a pool of flavor and create a homemade turkey pot pie. For Christmas Day.
Im going to also try my hand at Grams Buttermilk Biscuits, and the best Chocolate Cake recipe comes from the side of Hershey's cocoa Powder. So their we go. its set and if it turns out well...TRADITION set.
So Of course I start looking up recipes for the pie crust. remembering I do not know the recipe that came from my fathers infamous RED COOK BOOK. The Trusty OLD, ratty, falling apart book. That has the best pie crust recipe in the pot pie area. SOOOOO yum. His Trusty ole Red Book is so old, its missing pages, and has hand written recipes and cut outs he has collected along the way. Black and white photos of certain recipes and I can RECALL it from my Childhood.
Which of course, makes me miss the good times with my dad. The little traditions we had as a family while I was growing up. The Video Camera always plastered to his eye every Christmas morning. The Going around the circle of us kids, allowing us to only open one gift per time. Torturing us, and prolonging the JOY. Chocolate Cream pie with Cool whip. Runny Eggs and Fatty bacon the Morning of. The Yule Log and Christmas Music playing on the TV as we opened our Gifts. Dad either Falling asleep on the sofa or purposely taking a nap. His Chocolate chip cookies. "Its a wonderful life" in the kitchen, while he was baking.
All remembering this from his trusty ole Red book pie crust recipe.

As for Traditions, I cant wait to bake cookies on Christmas EVE, let the kids open stockings and Listen to Grandma Lights Voice from "the night before Christmas" book.

Im really looking forward to this Christmas.


Friday, December 16, 2011

Oh I Wish I had a river you could skate away on

Joni Mitchells "River"
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

Love this classic Beautiful Song. Most of Ms Joni Mitchells songs always get to me, but this time of year. I so love to hear her voice. I sink into my seat each and every time I play this song. While its Beautiful and Sad, it also reminds me about WHY I SO LOVE this time of year. And How I wish, That everyone come be filled with Joyful spirit during Christmas.

The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
OHH Buddy the Elf. How Fun of you. It fits my personality so well.
Though I sing aloud for all to hear all year long,I couldnt agree more with his elfish quote.

Merry Christmas.
YES I SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS. Not happy holiday's. My christian and I believe in Christ. And even though Christmas might have no REAL reason to do with the birth of the Savior. The Fact that he is used as one of the many christmas stories. Is good enough for me. I do my best not to offend my fellow readers. But I must say this. Being "insulted" for one to say Merry Christmas, as if its to DOG your personal religion is quite...unkind...and a few other choice words. No one used to be offened. No one used to make it their goal in December to pick fights about word choices. Everyone was KIND, and gentle, and celebrated according to how they saw fight, with out a care of what people knew about their family.
Snobbish Consumers who huff and snuff and spit at the employee for Receiting a Little Christmas goodbye is more dirty then that employee sending them off with a little Jolly.
Its so sad what the World has become. I see more people fight Merry Christmas for the Fact it has the Word CHRIST. I see people Fight Merry Christmas because of Stories that portray the Lord. I see people fight it, because they are lost and confused and full of hate instead of compation. They dont know what to believe or who to believe in so pretend that there is no higher power. What a sad little life to live.

Christmas, a time to give...and receive. To be thankful, to show your thankfulness. To be united as a family. TO join in Christmas cheer. TO eat hearty foods, indulge in sweets and a bit too much nog. A time to throw snowballs at your brother or help decorate a palm tree while in FLorida. ;)
Its a time for Story telling, and wishful thinking. To use your imagination and through yourself into make believe.
CHRISTMAS SPIRIT friends. Why are we lacking Christmas SPIRIT. Who cares if your kids are grown, your all alone. You arent a believer in anything magical. This is the time of year to let those walls down and just enjoy.
I get so sad that people rush through christmas. That they cant wait for it to be over. They arent excited for it. They put no thought or effort into creating a twinkling red and green feastival of cheer.
SO what if you feel its too Commercialized. GOT OVER IT FRIENDS. Just because the hustle and bustle of shoppers gone wild leaves the shelves a bit bare, and mom's a bit frantic. Doesnt mean you have to partake in all that. You can celebrate, and be thankful, and share in the stories. You can make a beautiful meal and drink to your hearts content. You dont have to get all scrooge and ruin it for other people who LOVE even the mere thought of Christmas. There is no harm in the thought, in the meaning and believing of a tradition.
I dont care about where it started, how we adopted it from pagens. Or that Santa Claus was really some crazy man that broke into homes.
The spirit of what it means. Is what this Decker Family cares about. We care about the Joy the Thought of Santa coming gives our kids. How they talk about the flying and the presents and the cookies and the candy canes. The North pole and Santa's workshop. and the other end of It being jesus Birthday, and we sing a Joyous Christmas Christian melody. WE care. We enjoy, we play make believe for our children and we light up because of their excitement.
Commercialized? Sure....but all you scrooges out there are whats bringing down christmas. So grab a candy cane, put on a classic Christmas Movie, share a laugh. Throw back some nog and GET IN SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT~

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Just a bit of news

So even though we are not out of woods completely on the approval for Sophias implant. I wanted to share with my friends and family that Her Surgeon here At Madigan army Medical Center has agreed to implant her with the newly approved Neptune processor, By Advanced Bionics.
We are truly thrilled that he will do this for her, as it is an off the ear option for our little active monster who tugs at her ears all day long. AND hates having something attached. Not only that but it can be worn in the water, So she will beable to get ACTUAL swimming lessons, since this little bug LOVES water.
Now basically just waiting on Seattle to say yes.And Dr Crawfords Cordinator to call us back with his schedule so that we may pick our date in February for Sophies Surgery.

Things are coming along...slowly but surely.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

All I meant~

Lets talk.

Have you ever wondered about epiphanies?
How they happen? what triggers the thought?
For me it happens in my writing. Even sometimes amist Chaos and confusion as I have my two little kids fighting over my middle lap space.

I love that 2011 has been such a growing process for my family and I. I love what we have learned about each of our children. Seeing them grow and discover. Even during the rough, all I want to do is sleep through this terrible experience moments, I can find that glimmer of thankful reality.

In my last blog I spoke about individualities and creating an environment based of nurturing the spirit more then mind. I spoke about my feelings toward the harsh methods among the educational system in place for my daughter Sophia.
I today realized in a conversation that while my statements came off harsh on the education system. I also meant what I said.
Yes my child is different, needs assistance, needs more things. Not just my child, not just her difference. When I say I meant what I said about also understand that I do support the system in place. I understand the dynamics. I know the reasoning behind the grading and placing and calculating. I understand the purpose of having a chart of milestones as guidelines. I do. I do~ Its pretty simple to understand.
So again my speaking about it, is about MY FEELINGS. Im not saying do away with the system. Im not saying its uncalled for. But What I am saying. Is that to me...again to me....the word "evaluation" is just a pretty way of saying "we are comparing".
So for me. A mom who knows her daughter is deaf. Who knows she has lots to learn and catch up on, who feels like her disablity isnt as limiting as others are. For a mother who loves Sophie just the way she is. Having a system that technically COMPARES my daughter to the "norm" bothers me.
But its my opinion. Its my fight with in me.
granted. State to state guidelines are pretty different and San Bernadino County California, did not have a separate education milestone chart for disabilites, or for the deaf, so her comparisions are made against Average hearing children. TELL ME WHERE THAT IS FAIR.
At the same time. Because I feel theres nothing WRONG with Sophie or her being deaf, the need for special intervention....well. thats for a another blog. THe point is my epiphany in all this is that, while we adored Sophies intervention teachers in California, I realized. As soon as we STOPPED intervention for our move...BAM she was communicating up a storm. She has COME miles since we stopped intervention, literally ;). She is signing more then ever. Expressing more then ever. And If I were to tally up her "abilities" on a milesstone report sheet. The only ones missing are verbal. She can now tell me, what she wants. Where something is, go find something when I ask her. Point stuff out. PLays pretend, EVEN BARKS when its a Dog shes pretending to be. She can put her shoes on, she can undress herself, tell me when she needs to go potty or be changed from a pull-up. Tells me when shes tired and ready for bed. What Movie she wants to watch. So...yes. My feeling my daughter is a typical well rounded average little almost 3 year old is correct. But Education institues COUNT on paper work. And because shes deaf, and it is a Disablity she needs IFSP plan to attend schools and receive SSI. and to be seen by special pediatric clinics.
We are all God's children and should be treated as such.
with "AVERAGE" kids You dont see their parents being sat down and told what to do for them, to them, with them. They dont get to hear what to expect,or about any problems unless they are in school and the issue is out of control.
Maybe Im reaching to far out on this one. But hopefully you see my point.
I love my daughter. I love all my kids. I love EVERY child. special needs or not. Im going to respect them, as I am teaching my children to respect them as well.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Peace, love and happily ever after.

If you would have told me nearly 5 years ago, I'd turn into one of those Hippie Moms, I surely would have given you the stink eye, and proved how that would not take place.
Yet, here I am 3 kids later and I've found myself oddly comfortable with baby naked-ness, jarring cute "insults" like "your aura is pink and orange like a giant elephant". The thought of sending my kids to school, makes me want to sit quiet and still in meditation. lmbo~! No but seriously. The School thing truly is tweeking me out. Not just in reguards to my little deaf wonder~

No I do not spin around with streamers under the full moon, or say my Goodbye's with "namaste". At least not everyday. However, I do believe in natural remedies. I drink lemon juice just about everyday, make ginger tea to stave off the flu, now Im into the benefits of Raw honey and the "Mother" of all Apple cider vinegar. I love Yoga and I love peace ~ yea man~
Love to write. Love to sing at the top of my lungs, dance silly with my "naked" children. ;) and Im calmed by hugs. So long as their the hugs of my kids or Husband. Not so much into hugging other people, not even my friends....yea Im that weird.

I teach my kids, love and respect above all else. Tolerance and empathy. I nuture creativity over knowledge. I do not censor my children, with the exception of the "f" word and extreme extreme violence. I am not creativing bullies, but ones who know how to stand up for themselves and their families. Do support sports and art. Support the make believing and pretending, the fairy tale telling and teach that laughter is the best medicine.

We now do not worry so much about milestones according to the outside world. We worry about our childrens progress individually. Why? Because each of them are different. Your experience is not my experience and is not their experience so we put "should haves" "need to's" "why arent they's" to bed. Early intervention, while fantastic, made me upset that because Sophie, doesnt say mama, dadda, ball or up, because she doesnt tie a knot or count to 3, that shes 12monthish...(mind you this was back in April) on your cognitive thinking skills. But my Sophie, can read your mind, your body and your facial expressions before you gesture, say or point out anything. WHERES THAT ON THE LINE OF WISDOM?

I guess the point is that, I had it in my mind that structure for my kids would be a certain way. Milestones had been set in my head as a guide line for successful children. When Really, the Guideline should just be on the parent. Not on what the kids do. I mean, lets face it. Mass murders and child rapists, may have scored high on aptidue tests, reached all their infant and toddler milestones, could read by age of 4, and count in 2 languages at 2 years old....but....need I explain their path later in life~

I do not have perfect children, Im not a perfect "hippie" mom. My family has tons of ups and downs and all arounds. Success comes in many different shades of colors. Success isnt just about how much your brain can soak up...lifes too short to work work work work and not live and breathe and smile.
Its not about how many A's my kids can get in school, but the effort they are putting in to succeed. To try. To learn. To work their minds. Its not about being a Doctor, lawyer or banker. Its about being successful at what makes their lives wonderful. Sure, I'd love my kids to be world travelers, and prize novelists, Nationally reconized Ballet dancers. But its not my path to choose. My path is to be supportive, and thankful for each day with them, and for them.
If I can teach them one things It would be to Live in truth for Happiness.
You cant lie and feel good. You can't lie and be truly successful.
So Live in Truth for Happiness~ R.S.Decker

I'd rather know I spoiled my kids rotten of Peace, Love and happiness. Then force them to lose a piece of what makes them, them.

Its a part of my fear with Cochlear implants. Not so much what the implants will do, but what tasks lay in front of Sophie. The methods. The teachers, the constint doctors and check ups.
The fact that Someone else is telling me WHAT NEEDS to be Done, to make Sophie "better" "the same" "hearing" "Smart". As science works in the human brain, as too what is absorded according to age...Sophie is already "behind" in those terms. So the pushing that I already have seen with these Teachers are going to be what makes my stress cells go bonkers. Again I say dont get me wrong, obviously some sound is better then no sound. I want to hear Sophie speak. But my mommy fire gets real HOT when down falls according to scientific standards are pointed out.
Shooot, and someone telling me HOW to do something in reguards to my child. UGHHHHHHH GROWING PAINS WILL BE IN FULL FORCE WITH ME THIS 2012.

Ah well, what can I do now.Nothing but rant and rave. Complaining is 2nd nature to me. Like it or not...ha you dont have to read my blogs. When emotions run high in me theres only a few good things I can do. Re-arrange furniture and organize...which was already done this weekend. Put on make-up...that always makes me feel re-freshed, which I did first thing this morning, BAKE, but Im trying to stay away from the goods right now...AND WRITE. So I wrote. And learned a few things as I did. Writing Clears my mind, makes me dig down deep. Brings things to light and sometimes even lifts a weight off my brain, and heart. Gives me Peace. and I send it with Love, to my readers wishing them a happily ever after, that they can be proud of too :)

Monday, December 5, 2011

We can say it with Sign, CAN YOU?

Today is all about Signing.
After spending the day trying to form together a few signed English Sentences I've decided to share them with our Readers. Now, mind you, as A mom to 3 kids under 4, some of these sentences are going to be geared more toward, social behavior. Some helping Verbs. And Action words.

So, when it comes down to Sharing. We are learning to say it with sign. More then just share. We have to tell our kids that its not ok, to "take away" right.
So we sign
" do not take that away. Give the Toy to them please!"
" Lets get a game we all can play together"
" Share the toys with your sister (brother)"

Or in the mean spirit of sibling tension
"do not tease your brother"
"we do not hit in this family"
"leave them alone"
"that is not nice"
"done, now you may sit in time out"
"stop it, NOW!"
"its brothers (sisters) turn now"

Or how about its a huge mess in the livingroom
"time to clean up. Clean up, go go go"
"lets clean up together"
"Can you put this toy away for me"
"go clean your room"
"make your bed"

asking of questions
"do you want this one?"
"can you tell me in sign?"
"how do you sign language?"
"which one?"
"where does this go?"
"who is in that Picture?"
"do you like...?"

Or useful phrases when I can not always get my husbands attention
"I have to speak with you, it is important"

Then singles
"stand up"
"sit down"
"change diaper"

I do not expect Sophie to use these signs. But with in the next several months my hope is that she will start to understand them, as we use them more often.
Its a good jumping point from here, and Now this is a place I can refer back to each day.

Words, like
the, this, that, were, was, do not, can, can not. It, is, in, all parts of spoken english. And if we want Sophie to hear, speak and sign. it has been brought to our attention that Signed English, uses those helping words. In the Form in which we speak them. Where as, ASL, would leave out those "cluttering" words and switch around the word order. Example. ASL users would say "shopping me go" instead Of "Im going to go Shopping"

Now granted I do not have all these signs memorized. But now having them written out I can run through them daily. Learning as we go of course. THe best way to do it.

A day in the life of a deaf Arizonian


neckwear is Bola Tie
State Gem is Turquoise
state tree is Palo Verde
state bird is the Cactus Wren
state Flower is Blossom of the Saguaro cactus
state mammal is the Ring tail
State Fish is the Apache Trout
State reptile is the ridge nosed Rattle snake.
census rang in at over 6 million residents
State capital if you havent already guess is Phoenix.

Yes Im listing facts about Arizona.

Why? Ill get to the WHY! Soon. Though you've guess it already most likely as I have already stated this in previous blogs.

Arizona observes Mountain Standard Time on a year round basis. The one exception is the Navajo Nation, located in the northeast corner of the state, which observes the daylight savings time change.

The Castilian and Burgundian flags of Spain, the Mexican flag, the Confederate flag, and the flag of the United States have all flown over the land area that has become Arizona.
The geographic center of Arizona is 55 miles (89 kilometers) southeast of Prescott.

Arizona's most abundant mineral is copper.
Bisbee, located in Tombstone Canyon, is known as the Queen of the Copper Mines. During its mining history the town was the largest city between Saint Louis and San Francisco.

The state's most popular natural wonders include the Grand Canyon, Havasu Canyon, Grand Canyon Caves, Lake Powell/Rainbow Bridge, Petrified Forest/Painted Desert, Monument Valley, Sunset Crater, Meteor Crater, Sedona Oak Creek Canyon, Salt River Canyon, Superstition Mountains, Picacho Peak State Park, Saguaro National Park, Chiricahua National Monument, and the Colorado River.

The Arizona tree frog is the state official amphibian. The frog is actually between three-quarter to two inches long.

The original London Bridge was shipped stone-by-stone and reconstructed in Lake Havasu City.

The capital of the Navajo Reservation is Window Rock.
The state's precipitation varies. At Flagstaff the annual average is 18.31 inches; Phoenix averages 7.64 inches; and Yuma's annual average is 3.27 inches.
Crops include 2%; pastureland 57%; forests 24%; and other uses are 17% in land-use designation.

The Arizona ridge-nosed rattlesnake is perhaps the most beautiful of all eleven species of rattlesnakes found in Arizona.
The colors blue and gold are the official state colors.
Located in Fountain Hills is a fountain believed to be the tallest in the world.

Four Corners is noted as the spot in the United States where a person can stand in four states at the same time.

The age of a saguaro cactus is determined by its height.
The Apache trout is considered a threatened species under the federal Endangered Species Act.
Arizona, among all the states, has the largest percentage of its land set aside and designated as Indian lands.
Rising to a height of 12,643 feet, Mount Humphreys north of Flagstaff is the state's highest mountain.

The Hopi Indians of Arizona are noted for growing their multicolored corn.
Oraibi is the oldest Indian settlement in the United States. The Hopis Indians founded it.
Grand Canyon's Flaming Gorge got its name for its blazing red and orange colored, twelve-hundred-foot-high walls.
Grand Canyon's Disaster Falls was named to commemorate the site of a previous explorer's wreck.
Grand Canyon's Marble Canyon got its name from its thousand-foot-thick seam of marble and for its walls eroded to a polished glass finish.

Arizona became the 48th state on February 14, 1912.
The world's largest solar telescope is located at Kitts Peak National Observatory in the city of Sells.
At one time camels were used to transport goods across Arizona.

A person from Arizona is called an Arizonan.
Phoenix originated in 1866 as a hay camp to supply Camp McDowell.

Tombstone, Ruby, Gillette, and Gunsight are among the ghost towns scattered throughout the state.
(Thanks to Arizona Fast facts Website)

DO not really find all that information interesting?
I do!

How bout this quote?
“The problem is not that the (deaf) students do not hear. The problem is that the hearing world does not listen. “- Rev Jesse L. Jackson ( American Civil Rights Activist, Minister)

Which is where Im off to next. Arizona Deaf
Funny how, next to NYC Arizona phoenix and Tuscon metro areas seem to offer and abundance of deaf support. The Arizona State School for the Deaf and Blind is even Host to the berger performing arts center on their Campus!!!! PERFORMING ARTS! YES!~
Phoenix Day school runs its program for Pre-K to High school. Running Pre-k programs in 5 local area around the Metro area for youngest students to have better access closer to home. Total communication ASL, spoken and written English, sports and even culinary classes!!! Allowing the parents and students to decide the method they are most comfortable learning in. Not to mention SMALL classes and a total student body no bigger thenthe private school I attended basically my whole life.

Sequoia School for the deaf, is one of 5 charter schools located on the same Campus. Allowing the Deaf students to be in classes and among its diverse student body at all times. Mixing Classes for the hearing impaired and hearing, allowing that student to make the choice. Some hearing classes from H.H classes. Even FREE...YES FREE College courses can be taken for High school students to get a head in their college career while still in school. Free transportation and free parent and RELATIVE sign language classes. OH and did I mention A DEAF PRINCIPLE, who studied in Deaf Education. Located in Mesa, AZ and pretty easy access from the surrounding areas. How awesome it would be to give Sophie the education she will need while not taking away from Emily and Ryan. While also allowing the 3 of them to be ALL on the same CAMPUS, enjoying school together, bus together maybe even.

Hello Arizona Deaf Festival~ FESTIVAL of arts,skits, childrens programs,
MMMMHMMMM funny enough Miss Deaf Arizona 2011 WINNERS name just happens to Be SOPHIA.....ummmmm so whats that Country comedians line...Oh yea "theres your sign" bahahahahahahaha

Arizona Deaf theatre
In the
Disability Empowerment building, Phoenix Arizona!
Phoenix Deaf Community Center
Valley of the Sun signers, at
and from what I see like 10 different meetup groups revolving around sign/deaf/hear of hearing/adults/children/families.
Oh my gosh, Im jeolous a little seeing how this kind of support group setting is exactly what Ive been looking for here~

I cant believe all that I have found this morning in Arizona. It makes me raise hope tho that one day we will get down there and make it. Afford it, work it, become true Arizonians. buy our first home~
Amazing stuff. Amazing Facts about the land of Burning Sand. A place we once lived. A busy metro snow birding kind of area. But deep down, I have a feeling that with all this accessible to not just Sophie, but Emily and Ryan as well. This is a place we need to take into consideration. As I recall Arizonians are also A lot sweeter.Maybe its all that sunshine. Maybe its the extra Vitamin D. I dont know. But I do know that in my heart Finding a place where School is excellent for all my kids is key to their lives being successful. Even if I do not see all my dreams come true. The least I can do, is pave a path that my kids can accomplish it all. Providing the means for proper education and teaching them compassion and love and honor being the stepping stones!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

What it might come down to

You know Us Deckers here have a way of always figuring things out. Some times with Help, Some times just by the Skin of our knees. More often then not we put out each month more then we bring in. And by WE I mean Matt. While it is a blessing That I am A SAHM and That every Job Matt has ever had has allowed that to be possible, it also has a lot to do with the fact that If I were to work...I'd just be paying the sitter and Gas. So What good is no face time with my kiddos if I still dont have the means to help support their ever growing feet, legs, ears...
As December has now arrived, Im thinking about the new year coming up. What needs to change, what can be changed, how things can be changed, if things can be changed. Things were a tad easier when All my kids were tiny. While they are still small, everything else about them is bigger. Can we truly continue down this pay check to pay check life style and provide? No, not really.
I find it tacky to talk about money problems and our down and outs in public. But today, as I vent and sort out whats in my head by writing it down. It seems to be helping clear out the mindly junk. BUT its not going to fix our sour situation.
Last Month we went from A HUGE mistake made on part of Western Union, and bill collectors calling to...Having a bank that hasnt fixed the problem but made it possible for us to continue life. TO our life information being stolen from the car of a Tri-care worker. Tri-care is our insurance company, to having to borrow $$$ when I knew that eventually all that was borrowed would have to be paid back, and then what....same poor boat. Allotments on checks, and now......NO CAR for the kids and I to all be in together. Which means.....if Seattle calls to set up therapy appts before the February surgery, we are screwed. Still the collectors call as our Bank account reaches $6 dollars that of course has to keep us a float in our boat till the 15th when we reach a new pay day. Now lets think...positive. If we didnt live in military housing, where even our electic and gas is paid for (unless we go over our alloted amount) we'd be living in a car, OH WAIT WE DONT HAVE a tent made from sheets and blankets. Making this Traveling Family, even more true Gypsies.

So from the bottom of my heart to my family who has helped us this year it means the World. To the Family who has purchased Christmas Gifts for our Children, It wouldnt be a Christmas with out the kindness you have shown for us. And I thank you truly.

Its Funny because there is a possiblity of things changing for us. But it involves paper out of my husbands control really. If we had a chance to get it, The way we would use it, to make 2012 NOTHING like 2011 has been would work wonders for this family of mine. Im talking, Getting a paid off car, paying off insurance, removing allotments from his Check, getting the kids real beds and real shoes and coats, paying off student loans. Goodness that would mean when we get paid every two weeks, we actually have money! But its a pipe dream because it involves having a special someone change her mind and change who she is. Which come on, thats a hard enough task for a 3 year old to manage. I just pray that this coming year will be different. SO much else will be changing with our kids...Hearing, School...sports. We have job security at the moment. Now I want The security of knowing when Pay day comes, we dont have to not get this, because we have to pay that. Or worry that our door bells going to ring, and someones taking back unpaid for property.
2011 has been way too hard. It has to change. We need it to change. We need prayer. We NEED PRAYER~ I keep asking for prayer requests.
Prayer, because Something Powerful and meaningful has to be out there for us right? There has to be a good no string attachment angel waiting for us around the corner right? RIGHT?

It comes down to prayer.
It comes down to Faith.
It comes down to Hope.
It comes down to Starting out 2012 clear mind, a little less debt free and on the right foot.

So I pray Lord.

Friday, December 2, 2011

December Already~

Hello December! Hello. I cant believe you've wintered upon us already. This Summer and Fall flew up, with a blink, and now We are prepparing for Christmas. The Most sought after Holiday for our 4 year old. She has been claiming toys and making lists, viewing flyers, catalogs and insisting upon A count down. Asking every day "mom how long is it till Christmas".
We've Learned Merry Christmas in Sign lanuage, Santa, and Christmas Tree. Reindeer is the same sign for Deer.
It Really is night and Day on how receptive Sophie is to Language this Winter compared to Last. Shes picking it up so well.
Funny last night, she strolls up to me, doing what I saw as the Sign for Dance, so I start to Dance. As does she. Then stops and does the sign I was confused, she then Ran to the bathroom door, hit it and signed again. AND AH HA! It was the sign "pee pee" my girl for the first time ever WHILE WEARING A PULL UP THAT IS, told me she wanted to use the bath room in sign. AND SHE ACTUALLY hadnt gone in her pull up and peed on the potty! I WAS AMAZED. We then really danced the happy potty dance afterward, I was proud and thankful for her communicated that to me last night. December just reminds me that my baby girl is closer to her Birthday, which makes mixed emotions. I mean Really shes going to be 3....3...Like didnt I just have her amazing birth yesterday?

December 1st, yesterday we ventured out in the Wilderness of Seattle lol. The drive there wasnt so long, got there at a decent time. The Drive back...well All I can say is thank Goodness for Carpool lanes. Other wise it would had been a 2+ hr drive home.

We sat in a large conference room at Childrens Hospital with a Woman named Amy. A therapy specialist who talks to families prior to possible Implant Surgery. She took notes on our story, asked us our opinion, our thoughts and wanted to grasp not only our knowledge of Deaf Community, our Daughter and sign language up till now, but our knowledge on C.I's and what it means as for Commitment for us.
If Sophie Gets Surgery heres what we have newly learned.
~ Its not speech therapy she gets.
Its Auto listening skills Therapy...theres a word for it, that I forgot.
~ Speech therapy is not something I need to make a separate weekly appt for
Eventually the School will work with her on that.
~ We must fully commit to 1 full year of WEEKLY trips to Childrens in
Seattle for Her Auto Therapy. To which, Im involved in. To Which Ryan
Could be distracting in, therefore Matt needs to be available to watch
Emily and Ryan WEEKLY...but ah remember he is in ARMY!
~ Auto therapy is at least 2 years long, depending on her skill level and
She adapts to sound. The Progress she makes.
~ The Mapping for her Implants right after surgery is 3 consecutive trips
To Seattle. ALL IN A WEEK period. where they will raise the volume of it.
~ SCHOOL, SCHOOL, SCHOOL. Apparently the county in which we reside here on
THis Military post, isnt known for being too friendly with allow Students
TO attend different public schools, should we decide their program isnt
the best envirnmont for Sophie.
~ CLover park School district, here on Post. That has a "hard of Hearing"
(H.H) preschool. Doesnt really provide much more assistance after that.
And has been known with in the small pre-k class to not provide what
the Children really need as far as signing and speech.
~ Also that the Nucleus 5 while awesome, might not be the best.will looking into advanced Bionics to see the difference.
~ We learned that ASL is a language of its own. And not really easy to use
While speaking and therefore we best use Signed exact English or a close
Match to that. So that little words that asl users say "clutter" up the
Signed sentence are used. So that full speech for Sophie can be under-
stood. Which we have been using really, cuz we sign, "the, have, this..."

So next Thursday the counseling group of all Specialists and surgeons at Childrens Hospital for C.I's join together for their bi-weekly report.
Where they will talk about Sophies canididacy for C.I's. If she is approved, they will contact our surgeon here at Madigan Medical on post for the O.K for Dr. Crawford to perform the surgery. But how far out they may be isnt known yet.Its a pretty popular surgery here, and yet NO ONE WANTS TO GET TOGETHER AND START A SUPPORT GROUP with me. So its local and we dont have to run around finding similiar families. But hey! FINE right~

The Auto Therapy, the traveling, the Matt taking off of Work weekly...thats not really all that big! Yes stressful and a huge under taking, that we are more then willing to do! Im not worried about Sophies success with the C.I's. Im worried though about School. Shes 3 years "behind" shes tiny, a ball of energy, and kids now dont always give her a chance to play. Im worried if shes not in the Right School environment, the teacher allowing her to slip through the cracks, or finding her an Teachers (especially young, sorry friends) tend to do, or so Ive seen through my 3rd person experience when Friends of mines children, who need that little extra UMPH have done....ESPECIALLY ON A MILITARY BASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a sour puss lol. about young Teachers. No offense to the few young teachers I do know and know would never be that way. I know Teaching is an extremely hard job, Iwont pretend I could do it. Cuz I wouldnt want to. Teachers are under paid and not always given the Chance to work with kids cuz of Size of classes and rules, I get that. Ive just seen More Kids who need that TLC be pushed away, or labeled trouble maker/ Lazy/ annoying/ dont enough time for. And it later makes School Harder on them. And Programs their minds to think...well no one wants to help me better myself, so Why try!

After all the School research Ive done. Washington state is limited on whats available. Or they are Seattle or More North.I love Seattle now! But To travel the i5 traffic for Matt to work everyday...Would be insane. Military wise, ive only found one location that has the SCHOOL that would be in my opinion worth staying in Army for. And thats in Colorado Springs, near Fort Carson. But getting that location...could bea hit or miss with re-enlisting. Meanwhile, Salem OR, has an awesome Deaf culture...As does Counsil Bluffs Iowa. Riverside California, and Mesa Arizona. MESA has the hearing impaired Public School system that is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! Deaf principle and on the same campus as a public school for the Hearing Children,making all classes available for the deaf. And same Bus as Siblings. and pre-k thru 12th. Great acedemics and Sports open to ALLLLL children no disability discrimination! If I could score 2 well paying awesome ass jobs in Mesa for Matt and I.........I'd leave Army life to the wind. But The Phoenix/mesa metro area is slim pickings for the unemployed. RIght now! So what we need is to pray, and to link a pray chain. One that Sophie is approved, that $$ allows us our weekly travel and 3 that We figure out our last moving path that matches Sophie's educational needs while providing the same for Emily and RYan. Where we both have jobs to support a now Military life. Its so much! I know, but if anything Prayer is more powerful then WRITING about it! I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to PRAY hard and share the prayer request for us! My Biggest worry is School.

On a positive note!
Our first DATE NIGHT! TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Christmas Shopping and Panera Bread! First one since last November! OMG I couldnt be more excited PEOPLE! but what Am i gonna wear! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH