Thursday, February 25, 2010


"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

"You'll only get what you've always gotten if you only do what you've always done."

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." -Alan Cohen

“Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”... See More
— Barbara Sher

"Be who you are and say what you feel because people who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind." Dr.Seuss

Monday, February 15, 2010

Drum Roll Please

Its a boy.......yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! had an ultrasound today and baby Deckers lil boy parts were left wide out in the open to see!!! So excited and I'm hoping for a much more laid back baby unlike my girls ;)but we will see. Matt doesnt know yet and unless he remembers to ask Wednesday when he gets his phone back in Army then he wont know until I can surprise him with the pictures!!!! hehehehe

Leaving tomorrow on a Bus for Missouri, Wish me luck.

Noticed today that as I walked out of restaurant with my sandwich to go, I had a huge smile on my face (ahhhh sigh its a boy) and these old people passing me by were looking at me like I was a loony tune. it was a great feeling tho, They passed me by and I just laughed!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

drama Vultures

Funny way to describe those I feel hang around waiting to swoop down and feast on poor innocent peoples lives that at the moment are full of drama...savage beast that will be your friend one minute and the next bite you in the ass.

It really is funny when you think about things. You can sing praises all day long, rejoice out loud in your happiness and be vocal about your joys in life, and most people will just pass you by and think what a WACKO!! Right??? Especially if all of a sudden you change from down and out to a new found glory...they dont ask why the change...they wait for the bottom to drop out before you hear from them again. Makes me wonder about the pure nature of human beings...are all humans born unhappy...? is it stuck in our DNA and its like having a rebirth when you are no long glum? Really honestly Im asking...

Perfection is in the eye of the beholder, and life is as you make it, and only you can judge it, its no ones business to bring you down. It only matters how you feel, and what you want to do with your life...

anyway a new lesson I've learned from my past crazy month, and I'm in motion on a revamp to a bigger better joyful life, and marriage.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

another day another thought

crazy day, went out into MIddletown in hopes of going to walmart for one quick art supply and food shopping trip but it was insanely busy even just getting to walmart so I gave up and went to ACMoore got cute valentines day stuff for the girls to make a vday gift for my to take to Matt this coming week...YES FINALLY I GET TO SEE HIM. I'm taking a trip by myself to Missouri to see him Graduate from Bootcamp on Thursday, and these gifts are sure to make him cry (snickers)..heheheh love to see him get misty eyes over his girls ;) The sucky part is me taking the bus a full 24 hrs on a bus there and back....but a bed to myself at least for one night will be HEAVEN!!!!!!!!! A much needed escape to reconnect with my inner Becci, and come back refreshed and ready to bore out the last 12 weeks of his training in slummy old Middletown ;( blah... I seriously can not wait to find out where we get adventures and love to sow more seeds in Land we have yet to see. Thats the thing about us Deckers...we have gypsy blood traveling through our veins, or so it would seem. Since 2005 we have been coming and going so quickly, moving and enjoying breaks, new scenery and people. You meet a lot of interesting people on the road, people you will not soon forget. Tho, its not always best I hope to one day see the traveling side of my kids and watch them go off to Europe to Back pack around or even study. I hope to one day set foot in Greece, Italy and even Russia Where if Matt decided to retire Military good me for my dreams will come true and that includes adopting a baby girl from Russia my life long dream since I was 9.

Friday, February 12, 2010

a learning curve

Many a times in my life have a lost those that are closest to me. Friends, family, school mates. This time is different. My best friend who knows me almost as well as my husband and I are at a stand still. Problem started with a joint cell phone bill, just as my husband promised a problem would evolve it did. My anger got the best of me when agreements were not kept on her be half and choice words like "I cant see you right now" came out of my mouth because of her lack of understanding why I was so upset. Which led her down a road of hostility and wall building. I explained myself time and time again, and said sorry and that I'm stressed with life as it is right now and I got nothing but her twisting my statements to make it sound as tho I was kicking her out of my life which is not true...Being a mom of two little ones, basically with out my moral support and back up from my husband is soo hard and I have a much better appreciation for single moms now. stress can get the better of me sometimes and for someone who was my bestie she should have remembered that and taken things with a grain of salt as I did with her as I kept attempting to forget it and move on. But no A mountain was made out of a mole hill and now she is my 2nd close life friend apparently I've PUSHED out of my life.

My mouth gets me into Trouble too much and I need to learn when to keep it closed and which battles to fight and which to stay away from. OVER A STUPID CELL husband was right tho I hate to admit it, and wouldnt let him hear those words come out of my mouth when he told me to say them lol the bastard!!!! hahahaha (love you honey)

The learning curve is to never do business with Friends, no matter how big or how small it never works out. In the end that supposed strong friendship wilts at the way side and you are left standing alone once again. I hope and I pray I learn a lesson and Learn how to pick and choose my battles better and find some great girlfriends While I'm on base in this army life now to keep me positive and active especially whilst Matt is over seas fighting this terrible now pointless war.

Fact of the matter is my "bestie" has a very strong personality and when her mind is made up she only sees what she wants to see. She doesnt mind confrontation, and puts up a good fight. But her wall only allows her to see something bad and turn it into something worse and she doesnt know how to let go...a stupid fight that went on for too long with no empathy or resolution and believing everything she did was right and had no fault has caused us to fall apart. I did my fair share and I said maybe somethings I shouldnt and even said to her I'd regret. But I honor my agreements and I stand by my reasoning. So adios to something that was great, but is over now apparently.

Is it just me or do I not know how to keep resolution for 2010, make and keep friends, and keep the ones I have standing by me already. I gotta lot of work to do on myself

Thursday, February 11, 2010

playing catch up

So as time goes on I realized that my true passion,writing, has escaped me. Ever since I became a mom in 2007 I've let the only thing that was my escape hatch be put away. Then it dawned on me...Maybe if I write I would be less stressed. What other way do I have to be open and honest not only with myself but with whatever I have going on in my life. So I sit here now as Yo gabba Gabba plays on the TV and my two girls are enthralled with it, I start this little blog. To capture that of the simple life, as mom and wife, and maybe regain a piece of my sanity, a piece of myself I lost too long ago.

So for all you bloggers out there wondering who I am lets play a little catch up...

My name is Rebecca always been called Becci, guess it suits me tho I have always been tempted to change my name as silly as it sounds. I live in Orange County, New York for now. My husband and I got married in 2007, we have a beautiful growing family, with our 2 year old daughter and Our year old as God would have it baby number 3 a mere 4 and half months away...this past November my Husband enlisted as a soldier in the UNITED STATES ARMY and is currently training at Fort Leonard Woood, Missouri. I and my 2 girls are living back home with my father to save money and wait till May for the army to move us to our station...fingers crossed for Alaska. Why? you ask...its time for a new adventure and more people are to be met. The more you read on the more you will come to realize We love to move and have lived in lots of places, like, Phoenix and Tampa and yes even in the county parts of IOWA...despite us moving so much and loving it we always wind up back in good Ole Orange county where we both grew up. Sadly each return is torture and the itch to move is back.

The husband is away and I can not wait to be back with him every night and in our own little place again. To set a schedule and decorate and get my crazy, adorable and loud girls back into the normal swing of things. Something that isnt so easily accomplished whilst sharing a bedroom (not to mention a bed with my 2yr old) despite what others and on lookers may think. I dont like Chaos but my girls have my heart, IM not made of putty with them, but not of stone either.

Its a different kind of life for us, we enjoy the simple things that life has to offer, raising our growing family, nights at home with a board game a family movie and a glass of wine for the parents (when I can have it again). I enjoy "I Love Lucy" because even with the sound off it can make me laugh out loud.

We have lots of hopes for the future and dreams of retiring young and passionate, with a taste of our beautiful country. Traveling and enjoying that which it has to offer. Is it really so much to ask to live in a small country town where ever one knows your name, your next of kin and even the breed of Dog you call RIN TIN TIN??? Where you can here the cheers of the High school Football game from your back porch and catch fire flies in the summer. Count Stars and have block parties? Thats a dream we share...enjoying the spoils of the simple life, together forever, under Open Sky in God Country.

Need to know more? Want to know whats next....stay tuned!!