Wednesday, October 10, 2012

JJ Heller - Boat Song (Official Music Video)

For my Husband Whom I Love the MOST! Who is Amazing in SO many Ways. Supportive and Understanding to my insane Ways. I WILL Stand by you through ANYTHING. I Love you SO Much My Honey!

I Promise To ALWAYS and Forever + 1 x infinity LOVE YOU!

I Get To Be The One - JJ Heller

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


Been wanting to Blog for a while...but my words can not be found. I have things I want to say, stories I'd like to get down, emotions I need to get out. BUT...BLANK. Blank! I know I'd feel so much better blurting out everything. SCREAMING it down onto the blog I've set up for this VERY kind of thing. But Still...Im Blank.

BUT Hopefully soon, I can crawl out from under the rock I've put myself and get back into my writing. Back into expression.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Cookie cutter

I've actually been trying to think of the right words to say this past week for a blog. Its taken me this long to work myself into writing it. And of course now that I want to. ALL kids are being super clingy. Wanting to sit ON my LAP and me be in their face. Literally making want to rip my own face off lol. Cant mom get just 5 minutes! AHHHHHHH hahhahaha. OK.

I've made it a point for the last year to make sure that I stay tuned to some awesome blogs. Blogs that Can relate to our family and want we want for our family. I've made it a point to also follow different point of views in reguards to having a deaf child. Some blogs are all about the Oral approach and the great benefits of CI's. Others are about ASL, others about Using both ASL and oral. I like to read up on what works for other people, and remind myself that no 2 family are alike.

The Progress that Sophie has made since February in my OPINION, is tremendous. Even in the last Month she has come leaps and bounds. Further than I thought at this point she could be(not that I didnt have faith, and know shes brilliant cuz I do). Not only did she say On the 4th "AH BUG" AND then said "BUG" again later that same evening. BUT shes now also yelling "MOM" when im a ignoring her screams. And Im not kidding. But its not like shes standing there using a low inside voice. She's only using it when YELLING for me. But thats awesome right? So I feel, and will continue to feel thats awesome. But Sophies damn Aural Therapist, begs to differ. Feels that Sophie is no where near where she should be 4 months after implanting. Because shes not using MORE words. Not really puttings beginning sounds together enough, not responding to her name.Or doing task like "sit down" the doll when Rebeccas asks her too. But I ask you..."Did your child respond to their name at 3 or 4 months old?" NO, they reacted to your voice maybe, or smiled to hear you. But if you were behind them calling "Sophie, Ryan, George" or whatever your childs name was, at 4 months they are not going to turn around and look at you. And in retro spec. Sophie's only 4 months old in the hearing world. NOT to mention the fact it had been quit the battle to even get her into wearing her processor full time. Its been just over a month now that she wears it almost all day. That she will ask for it,(sometimes) or tell me it has to be on...due to us being outdoors, or out and about runnning errands.
She is doing well in my opinion again like I said. She bopps to music. She points out helicopters that fly over head. She turns to comfort Ryan when shes crying. Will mimic a Sneeze after she herself does it. AND laughs when you say Ouch, and will want to hurt you again cuz its funny. Will copy someone coughing. Makes an umph sound where you would usually hear something, like taking a picture you hear the click. So in pretend play Sophie "clicks" with a umph. She says "poosh" when Pointing a gun and pulling the trigger (playing of course) She counts to 3 on her hand and then grunts for "go". And During her last therapy, AGAIN when Rebecca and I were speaking and Not paying attention to Sophie, while she played she was making noise "bahs" everytime a chip would land in this cool connect 4 toy. "BAH" = Bounce. HELLO!!!!! and yet again A person who sees Sophie 1x every 2 weeks is grading her low. And Im annoyed and pissed. AND think, how can they judge her in a session, in 45 minutes time, a girl whos not a trained monkey and doesnt want to "perform" for someone she barely knows.
Then theres Sign language. BEAUTIFUL sign language. Our Sophie is finally using it to really get her point across. Now putting 2 and 3 signs together. often its "boy, where, scary" while on my lap telling me that Ryans on his way to scare Sophie. Which they do often, chase eachother from room to room, Ryan roaring like a monster and the girls running and screaming in "fear". Its so cute. But AMAZINGLY just this week, Sophie has FINALLY replaced "boy" sign with Ryans NAME SIGN. Which is the same sign for boy but with your hand making an "R". "Ryan, where,scary" "I want dad" "more milk please" "movie on" "processor off please" "skirt on" "shoes, outside, play". And as I see it all written out, and As I was thinking to myself this morning while Signing with Sophie about eating breakfast sitting dow, or she will have 5 minutes in time out....I realized. How naive I was a year ago about signing. Really till 2 months ago. As Sophie started to really catch on and sign more, and using ASL never using helping words like me. ASL is the way to go. ha. Who knew? All the talk about Speaking when you sign and ultimately you want Sophie to speak, so using S.E.E and words like the, it, is. TO form proper sentences, was the right idea. But really is takes SOOOOOOOO LONG. Sophie is 3, she doesnt have an attention span long enough to wait for my point."where is the ball, go get it please" takes way longer then signing "ball,where? please get" I always knew the difference in S.E.E and ASL. and knew that ASL why it takes so long to learn is because of grammer. Propper deafie sign. :) But long term....its the best to use. It may not make sense when Speaking and signing at the same time. BUT We've always said sign language is Soph's 1st language and we want and need to continue with it. Being a part of the deaf community however we can be is KEY! Even if that only means meeeting up with groups, or attention conferences a few times a year. Even if we do not get a duty station close to a school for the deaf (our biggest hope).

My point is that Sophie isnt your average CI user, ASL speaker, or cookie cutter deaf toddler. She seems to be my little master piece who has been made according to Gods Grace. and is who she is for God's Purpose. Not the purpose that Seattle Childrens Hospital wants to see her as...the cookie cutter patient. She fits in, our family, the quirky, insane, loud, crazy, busy, family we are. Im so thankful for Signing. Im thankful for her communicating things now. Her understanding punishment when shes mean, that she must say Sorry and give kisses when she hurts someone. She knows what a time out is, and that I mean business. She understands bedtime better now. Especially now that she and Emily have separate bedtimes. She knows ALL her colors, counts to 5 in sign. Is learning her letters. NOW finally will sign animals. Signs about Shopping and money like a Little girl always knows best. Is in the 3 year old tattle tale phase, but thankfully its when Something Serious is happening that Im not aware of. AND ALL THRU ASL. Im all for her hearing (obvisouly) speaking and being a part of the hearing world. But Come on People. Shes using language. Her IEP scored her right at her age group for all things but speaking. She knows her shit! Shes Brilliant. And with School right around the corner. I expect By Christmas she will know more then I do.

Im just tired of people putting these expectations on her. Im tired of therapy. So far shes not learning anything of value, that We don't do at home. I want everyone to realize that ASL is just as good as listening, and speaking. LIFE GOES ON! With or without working ears. Saw in a blog today an artistic horse. Where they painted eyes on the Horses ears. Ceramic of course lol. With a sign below it saying MY EYES ARE MY EARS. ANd I love that.
We may live in a hearing world. But there are millions who do not hear. and The World is still rotating. The World still goes on. They still live and florish, and smile, and laugh, and get humor, and fall in love. Live their dreams and write books, give speeches, and win games and pageants. Still play music and sing. have babies and have high powered jobs. Buy houses, give back to the community. Deaf People live! They live life just like a photo I saw this morning as well "LIVE LIFE LIKE SOMEONE LEFT THE GATE OPEN" and a little fluffy dog running so fast with a big smile on its face for the gate! :) If you take hearing out of the situation....You'd never know they wear deaf. In a society where we are all about anit-bullying. We should also be anti-stereo typing as well. Give people chances and stand for whats right. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT.
If I can teach my kids anything, besides having compassion, it would be to Give everything a chance, and stand out. Have expectations for yourself and live up to then, not for what people WANT you to be. Because how can that make you happy? Dont people please by letting yourself turn into something you arent and not happy with.

Life is that much Sweeter because of Sophie. And Emily, and Ryan. And who cares what everyone sees. We are who we are. Totally NOT a cookie cutter family.

Heres some photos from July 4th. Dont mind Emily without a top on. COuldnt find her swim suit and she refused to wear a tank. oops! lol.

BASEBALL while waiting for the fireworks. Totally Sophies sport. She squats like that here in this pic when shes ready to pitch too, its so cute. Shes awesome at it. Emily however, her sport is def, track and field. SHES LIKE SUPER FAST. like Just as Fast as Matt already. its amazing. Ryans sport has yet to be determined. Currently he is into being ALL boy, knocking things over and yelling "I DID IT" beating things with the bat when they are all ready down, racing cars and big trucks around the yards. ALL AMERICA KIDS I tell ya!

Thanks for Reading

Friday, June 22, 2012

Theres a Crack in everything.

I was reading today...reading Poems by unknown authors, and stories of other families. I read quotes and questions, Feelings and answers. N I was touched by many of them.
sharing with you readers what I have seen

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -Albert Einstein

of couse a few Bible verses
Be joyful in hope, patient in trouble, and persistent in prayer. ~Romans 12:12
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. ~2 Corinthians 4:17

theres a crack in everything. thats how the light gets in- Leonard Cohen

Alittle update

One Mans trash is another mans Treasure...that Saying used to scare me. Still kind of does, as Im super picky. But Because Im picky, and Do not just take ANYTHING. Us Deckers have made due with being picky, and yet gaining that which is FREE. As we scored another sweet deal on base. A free Sofa and Chair with ottoman in good condition. Clean. SMELL free, no stains or rips.COMFY! BIG. AND matching. SCORE!!!! I hunt around when bored and Hope to be the 1st to something listed free and decent. Which in a way being a bored stay at home mama right now isnt a good thing, as Im starting to be a pack rat (WHICH I HATE). Example, We moved into this house in August, with 1 small sofa, a TV stand n TV. Thats all the graced our sweet medium size livingroom. NOW nearly a year later, we have 3 sofas, a table, lamp, chair, ottoman, dresser for the TV, Pics on wall. Curtains. Normal Stuff really. MINUS the extra sofas ;) I LOVE FINDING A STEAL!

Things in our house have been pretty darn interesting, moms here. We are loud, and spread out. Have our moments of differences, moments of "shhhhhh I DONT WANT TO KNOW THAT" kind of conversations. But for the most part we have fun.KIDS think its awesome having Nonni here. We are just hoping for some nicer weather to head out this way so we can do some more outdoors FUN! Like we did last weekend.

Ryans HAIR! hahaha Sun block on his light head mixed with Salt water...lead to...CRAZINESS!
Emily was being a "dog" and Sophie was digging fast in the sand, and ALL were loving throwing rocks into the ICE ICE cold water. They were soaked n covered in dirt so much, that we had to strip them down for the ride home ;) Only thing that scared me is that Ryan has NO fear of water, n Likes to run into it. GREAT. But learn to swim first. eh!?

Emily is so ready for school, she is getting more and more excited. Doing really well with the idea, as I try n bring it up often. The more I do, the more I adjust to the idea as well. I have Sophies paper Work all ready to be summited for pre-k as well. Now that her IEP has been finished. Which she did pretty well in. Everything except for Speech (obviously) was right spot on her for age. they LOVED the imagination she has. And Spoke about how they feel that her teacher is going to be SUPER excited to Work with lil Soph.

Since Therapy started Sophie has been doing great. She uses Guhnt as GO! Counts on her hand 1,2,3 in sign, then points fast saying "guhnt" Makes a Swoosh sound when shes SHOOTING one of us with a toy gun. AND most recently Is making a slight "mwah" when she kisses. MWAH! Something so simple, that we all do. WE all make sound when kissing someone, cheek, lips, hands, anything. And yet Sophie never does (did) because obviously Hows she to know that theres more action to a kiss then just laying them pretty lips on us. ITS PROGRESS, We are asking nothing more then to see progress. Slow or not. Since her "VOICE discovery" shes been humming a great deal as well. Dancing with a stool turned upside down and humming to her moves. Proud of where shes at. How well she does.

Ryan, OH my RYAN! CRAZIEST little BOY ever. He is a punch of fun. A trip. A lightning bolt. A bouncing ball. A swweet and SOUR patch kid FOR SURE. FOR SURE. He will be sitting so nice on your lap, for 10 minutes then out of know where, howls like a wolf and GOES SPASTIC. then laughs, n goes running off. Counts to 10 for almost EVERYTHING in bunches. Now Points to every letter...but those letters are usually A, I, O, E, I, A, O E! OVER AND OVER ;) Says Choos for Shoes, and makes a sssssssss sound when he finds the snake flash card. FINALLLLLY Im proud to say he finally uses MOM. Comes to the kitchen gate n says "mom, mom" waiting for me to answer "mom sdkjhfs ererf dooch hoorch" Yea no idea about the end. hahaha. Best little boy.

Emily, has been taking the big sister roll much easier these days. Great help with Ryan, and has a Big sibling bed time now. Going to bed after Sophie has already fallen asleep. Because Lets Face it, it wasnt easy putting those girls to bed together. Not to mention Sophie is a brut, Picks on her big sister WAY TOO MUCH. She has the funniest sayings, Randomly dances weird when a song comes on...Ill catch her from the corner of my eye, and it makes me almost pee my pants. HA she thinks I dont see it ;) She too is doing excellent in signing. And We are trying to get her ready for September to make sure she knows everything she should have learned from pre-k.; Which I still kick myself for not putting her in it.

Matt is fantastic. Is Coropral. Just means he has more responsiblity, with his soldiers. He works so hard, for so little. And he can not wait till January to go to Missouri for AIT again.

So, thats our little update since its been a long while since I blogged.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A visit From Nonna

SHES HERE! Nonni is here here here. The kids have been Full of enery and Joy and Took right back to being in Nonnas arms. Ryan Whom shes just meeting for the first time ever, Course Loves her all the same. He is my nice boy and Being his Charming self for her. Its Been great having her here and seeing her, Ill be sad when she has to leave, we all will. Shes been awesome. Signing with Sophie, falling Right back into Remembering Signs. Its Awesome. Im thankful for the Chance To have her here!


Monday, April 30, 2012

OOO Therapy

oo, Ah, Sh, S, MM, EE..... Ling Sounds.

Ok so its the first time ive ever heard the term "ling Sounds" and it sounds ODD. But I assume its the Sounds we introduce that LINGER?

Audition. Not exactly sure of this Use but as described by my "homework" for the next 2weeks. Its For Showing Sophie Awareness of sound. got it! ;)

The Banging Game.

IM supposed to have the kids turn their backs to me, and When I bang on something They Should Turn around. Eventually working Sophie up to do it solo and When she Turns after hearing the sound GIVE BIG praises for her great work at listening. For now getting All kids involved will make Sophie WANT to play.

Door knocking Game. Practice the Sound of a Door knock...Is exactly what it sounds like "knock knock" "whos there" "umm Big bird?"

Walk and Listen. Indoors and Outside (on a nice day) Have Sophie point to something and We listen for sound and then she listens to me tell her what it is.

Working up to NAMES

Give or take 3 months Sophie should respond to her own beautiful name being said. Leading into Emily, Ryan, mom and dad, when Spoken, she should be able to point us out. Later, Speaking, will come later. As I told Rebecca (Sophies Aural Therapist) Im not rushing her with any of this. Im not pushing. She will get it on her own time. Just as she has done with potty training, something we were not pushing her to do, shes been wanting it all on her own.

Today went Great with Sophie. She listened. She heard, she responded and Followed the Prompts. Ryan distracted her a tad, as The SIBLING room only allows 3+ and Potty trained. Which I find odd Mostly young young siblings are with their Brother or Sister who needs services. Today I spoke to Emily about Being brave. Shes never stayed in a class room like setting ALONE, with out a sibling or parent. I wanted her there because I knew she'd give problems about what Toys she wanted to play in therapy like last time. AND SHE DID IT. Like I knew she would. She stayed in the room with other kids, Sat and Played and colored and watch a movie. It was only an HR but she did awesome Im so very proud of her. We keep talking about Bravery and How She will be going to kindergarten every day next year. Which If all goes Well After Sophies Therapy on the 14th Registeration for Emilys school opens up. I want to be there asap So that I can get her in a morning Class. That Way her and Sophie are on the same hrs, as Sophies Deaf Pre-school only does Morning hours. Tomorrow is the CYSS meeting and then the 10th Emily goes to the dentist, and then Sophies School evaluation on the 17th. BUSY BUSY next few weeks. Which Im super excited about.

All in All April was kind. it was Fun, we went out with a BANG. And We welcome a wonderful May tomorrow. :)

Heres A few pictures of Sophies First Day with Rebecca, of Seattle Childrens Auditory Center.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Do Solemnly Swear

Welcome Another 4 years of Army Strong Living! Matthew R Decker Re-enlistment To 31 Bravo, Military Police, Was Official on this Day April 19 2012 At Roughly 11:30am. Sworn in By Captian Chang and witness by Myself, The kids And A few Soldier Comrades. On the Steps of the Capital Building Dome In Olympia Washington.

Im extremely Proud Of my husband, His commitment and his Duty.
It was a back n forth about What to do as far as Re-signing or civilian Life. But in the End the Army Seemed like the best choice. We hope to be stationed somewhere new Come Next Spring. Matt Will be getting his orders to attend MP school At Fort Leonard Wood Missouri AGAIN! In the Winter no less, come September. Then January is when he would ship out for Training.

One of the best part about Military Life Is the moving around and getting the chance to see Life in different parts, I Pray the Lord has it in his plans to be put back on the East Coast this time around. Nevertheless, Im proud to Say My Husband is serving is country and Providing for His family. Hes been working very hard and Has been recognized By his Chain of command as being a great and important asset to their Motor pool. As he has been working on his leadership skills, and In his classes, as he continues to get certified in everything he can.

We've been one of the Lucky few to have not been a part of a deployment, dispite Matts desire to Do so. Having Spent a year at NTC and Then coming here to A Unit that was not set for deploying. However, It is possible that the next step After AIT is To be sent over seas, in that Case We will Continue to be As Strong possible, As I will continue To Support Matthew And His career.

Congratulations Matty on a Job well Done! I love you So much, and You mean the WORLD to me and to our kids. We Appreciate all you do!