Friday, March 30, 2012

Just A Friday Ramble

The Truth about my life is that theres only 2 ways it goes. Either, im extremely busy, ready to pull my hair out, or having a great time. With my Blessed Family Or Im Way bored. Ready to fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Not that my kids really let me do that. Lord Knows if Sophie Sees my Eyes closed she pokes me till they are opened. Ryan, will crawl on me and get inches from my nose talking, or Emily notoriously Says "mom, mom, mom...I want...or I have to...or When dad gets home..." Going on and on and On. In fact As Im sitting here typing away, shes talking my ear off. About what? Lets see, About how Jesse has taught her a Funny laugh (not sure how a puppy does that) and About her Future Bike, and what shes going to name it, and telling the story of what shes gonna do with it. Oh Wait now theres a Dragon with a large tongue involved in her Bike story....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA seriously gotta love this girls story telling. Its always an Adventure. I would expect nothing less for the mere fact shes a Decker. Our kids without Killer Imaginations, gift of Gab, and Quirkiness would mean EACH CHILD HAD BEEN SWITCHED AT BIRTH...hahaha in the Hospital with someone elses Newborn ;) ;) Little Girls and life means, magic and well lets be real, A WHOLE LOT OF ATTITUDE. Never easy. They like to keep everyone on their toes. They are sweet...then Sour with demands and melt downs. Dramatic! Exciting! But See For me...Its another mini me. Im used to seeing Barbie dolls naked n laying around. Nail polish on finger nails, and tutus in the bottom draws of Dressers. Emily Goes around belting out Made up Songs (who does that sound like thehehe)Sophie Stays up long hours at night in her room, making herself laugh n laying in Odd positions (again who does that sound like) The Two of them Are Constantly FIghting. One uping each other n taking revenge in many forms. Sophies resorts to first taking a prize possession of Emilys and using her body to cover it up....Emily Hits, then Sophie hits back, then they throw things...its a whirl wind of backsies. Yelling Doesnt work, Splitting them up...nope. Punishing...never lasts. UGHHHHHHHHH. Right!? But my girls, are amazing. They Do love each other I know. And Our Precious and funny, and Beautiful, NOT FRAGILE. Despite all the Drama our Lives brings, all the moving we've done, and friends we've left or lost. Emilys Bond with Her sister was made greater by Sign language. I feel as tho its a Bond that will last always as lets face it. Many people Wont learn Sign. Let alone Understand it. N it will become the Sister Language between the two as they grow. Really Its so fun being able to say something with no one else understanding what is said. I remember Growing up And trying to create a language with Friends. Having Note books we'd pass between us and write in code, in cirlces or by skipping lines and then writing Right to left. Having "dear Diary" before Text messaging was a thing. Giga pets before Angry Birds, and Making sure our friends didnt forget to feed and play with it so it didnt die. Being a Girl in Awesome. Taking Pride in ourselves is key to our beauty! Even Last night when I got my hair done it felt awesome hearing from the Stylist that I have Great Hair, in Amazing Condition, both when its wet and Dry. Well HELLO!!!! ;) My hair has always been taken care of well, despite all the crap Ive done to it, the colours its been, the cuts Ive had done, the braiding, twisting, pony wearing, heat taking hair of mine. Those of you who have known me a long time would remember the 8th grade Graduation Roast. When I was Forced to not only wear wood blocks under my shoes for height as I danced in a circle but also to wear A multi colored curly clown wig!!! 7th grade is when my hair obsession truly it was only Fitting. THANKS AUNT PENNNNNNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now whats different, even though I grew up with all brothers, and surrounded only by my male cousins at the time, is having a little boy of my own. Polar opposite from his sisters altho Now and Then I catch him sporting one...just one Princess Dress up heel on. But he always trips and falls in it and crys then flings it across the room out of anger. ANGER!!!! Is what Ryan is most known for, and in essence is his fathers SON for sure. Matt calls him bypolar...I call him Mini Matt. ;) He is soft and Cuddly one minute and then passive aggressive the next. Im used to it 8 years later in my relationship with Matt, so Ryan...BRING IT ON!!!!! ;) Ryan is an awesome kid, even tho He refuses to say "mama". He will say lots of others, even DADA, n DADDY! The Brat. He says Jesse, sissy, Go, stop, I got it, I get it, I did it. WHos there, Who Did it. Will laugh funny on cue. Takes direction well, and Makes us All laugh. Cute as a button! Loves his sisters, But they do fight with him. He takes it to heart most times and comes running to me with big croc tears, gets some lovin' n back to taking the absuse. Its a vicous Cycle! I can not believe How quickly our year here and Washington is going as it Will be 1 full year in June. Meaning July Ryan will be 2. It feels just like yesterday we were Celebrating his 1st birthday in our Washington Apt in Lacey. WHile He doesnt sign many words just yet, Like Sophie he is understanding them. He is closer to Soph then To Emily, and When Soph is upset he likes to be in her face babbling and showing her affection. He LOVES his sisters. How much hes grown tho makes me weepy haha. No more Crib, or high chair for him, the bottles been long gone. he tells me to change his diaper. Watches the entire Beethoven 2 when I put it on, and Laughs at all the right funny spots. Just BIG! Even tho He is still only 23 pounds, And I have him in onesies. Even tho hes only in the 27%tile in height....Hes BIG! Hes Smart, Hes BIG! hes My big boy. I love having a little Boy, Im So thankful to be blessed with him. As I love watching him take his trucks from the toy box, place them right on the Floor and "drive" them all over the livingroom and dinningrooms as fast as he can. How he will lay his head on the floor with his Tush up and PLay with his Jungle animals. I have to say It warms my heart Finding Match box cars Everywhere in the house. I even laugh when I find them in my spice drawer and the dishwasher bahahaha. (he gets into everything)THankfully I havent had the priviledge of smelling Melted Race car, so the Oven thankfully hasnt been blessed with his little cars yet!! Hopefully never will! He carries them with him usually 2 in one hand. It just makes me smile! My kids are my life. And I wouldnt have them any other way. Nothing different, nothing Changed, nothing! I only want them happy. The Best they can be, within the Journey they want to take. Living life for Joy, and Love and Success in their terms, not the terms of the World. Or My own for them. My Job, is to keep them safe, Teach them right from Wrong, Set the course of Faith, and then Let them Fly (hopefully not too far from me) but with even wing span to take them where ever their hearts desire. To Nurture, but not smother. Be supportive and Loving. Help them grow to be good citizens and Followers of Christ. In which case Matt and I would have done our Jobs well! Matt has been So amazing to us. Providing for us. Building us up. Supportive in everyway he can. From Money to Mind. Hes is always behind me in my crazy tactics, or ideas. Hes Allowed me to Be the one to Move us place to place. Pretty much saying "happy wife happy life" ;) With out him being my support thru all our battles I wouldnt be the Becci I am today. I would have lost my the Voice I only gained when becoming a mom...( I am mama Hear me roar) He lets me say what I mean, and mean what I say. And has my back, or calms me down when My fighter comes out. SUre we fight, we ignore and annoy each other...then we find each other again. Most times, fights last 10 minutes (after I win of course) before we are playing chinese checkers again or YATZEEEEE, or hes asking him to make him a snack! And Im asking him to crack open a beer! hahahahahaha For me not him! hes not really into Drinking. We are truly each other Ying to the Yang ;) Its Love! What can I say. There are times I do wish we could have seen the future. Known what we know now, or Learn what we are about to endure, But Its True that To know the Future would mean we'd be fearful! N You can not live life Fearful. Then there Are moments I wish we could go back to, have do overs. But then that would Change the entire Coarse we've been walking the present with. So What good would that do? In Hinde Site...Now knowing Sophies True Reaction to the Machine in her head...Matt and I both now agree We should have waited till it was her decision. But the pressure of family and society Got to us. It is what it is now. N thats ok! We are working on her accepting it. Its Not any task, and At night Sometimes I go to bed feeling defeated. But We pray. and Start again the next day. its ALl you really can do right? Pray! Prayer has Power. Prayer guides Faith. Faith Gives strength.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Tribute Letter

A Tribute to a Friend Who has passed. And Although many years have come and Gone, you are still missed, and Always Thought about. I hear your Drums, and See your Smile, Feel the love of your mother Saving me from YOUR WILD WAYS. Ouch my HAND still hurts from that Family picinic. :) The Sleepovers...the Video games. Scary movie movie nights. Mrs Church and the Jelly Fish. Dancing around for you n Danny in a Church parking lot. ;) What was the Name of that church again? Car Shows, and the Diner...Random party meet ups. You trying to teach me to play the Drums...yea FAIL~ hahahaha Hundreds of family parties, gatherings, and Church events. Being the nasty big brother who loved to torture me with Water! I was 9 months Pregnant when you passed. I can close my eyes and see the 100s of people who came to say their good byes. Even though I was bitter that Some were there, as if it was a "harmony event" instead of your wake, n some were there balling their eyes as if they had been your best friend...even tho they barely spoke to you! It was amazing reguardless of a send off. But I cant get passed the Morning I got that call...the Call that The lord had called you to his side. I remember where I was, how I had just woke up. That it was chilly and overcast outside my window. My first call was to my husband, who had been with My father that morning. I shared the news. My father was...without words. For he had such respect for you and for your amazing family. If I close my Eyes, I can feel your Mom calling out to me in that line at your wake. I can STILL HEAR STILL HEAR how she said my name. "oh Becci, Oh BECCCCCCI OH" Her pain. Her Overwhelming pain. Your Fathers Refined calmness, as he greeted each person, and still managed to muster enough strength to still ask me about the Baby Growing in my belly. My Aunt and My Uncle(it was his birthday the day of the wake), keep composure much you meant to them. I can still see Where My Cousin Mike Sat in the Church, the look, the sadness, the fact he didnt move, just looked straight ahead. N I remember that was the 1st time I had hugged him in ages. He was lost. You'd be so proud of what Mike has accomplished these days, as Im sure you know! You see Dont you??!!! But you looked at Peace. N here on Earth we still share our love for you. Our stories and our memories. You have been long gone but in our hearts you will remain forever. Subtle moments will jog a thought of you. Funny TV personalities will make me think "oh he reminds me of Michael" My poor Husband, Hears it a few times a month. I swear. He must think Im insane. You would have like Matt. He loves to make fun of me...just like you! I wouldnt have stand a chance if the two of you had been in the same room with me.... ;) :) I know your happy. Safe and blessed up there with Christ. I know youre one of my angels, and you've put in a good word. N I hope you see how much You meant to me. N how I will never forget. Not this week. Or every March of each Year that passes. Rest in Peace my Friend

Thursday, March 22, 2012

In Harmony

In Harmony.
Comes Natural.

It dawned on me last night, that I should ask the Therapist to ready the Harmony processor. Because After all it looks similiar to the hearing aids that Sophie Finally got used to.

So thats what she did.

And Today was a fabulous Session.
She didnt cry, or cringe, or take it off, and was able to sit thru the 3rd level witho

ut noticing much
So She upped all the channels on the 2 processors.
The Difference between the two, is the Harmony, is bulky, and on the ear. its large, it dangles and is heavy. No sound beeping when she takes it off, and It needs the battery attached to even be on.
The Neptune, Like i explained before is light, easy, simple, and lets me know when its off. Plus its not for the ear.

So now that we have both in working order we can jump around to figure out what suits her best, until shes ready to be a single user.

Like I said. We had a good day. Tho, its 235pm and Sophie didnt even nap on the way back from Seattle.

We will be back for more fine tuning in April. So till then, wish us luck that we reach the goal of keeping her on her loudest setting.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

From the Moon to Neptune

Rocket Rocket BOOM, BOOM
Off to Neptune.

The Journey to The Moon was quit interesting. Baby moon walking and Giant leaps of faith toward a Product to Introduce hearing.
An Experience I had Hopes (even dispite my doubts)would give her a Famously wonderful OUT of this World Experience.
AS each time with Her processor Progresses, I still do not find my doubts and regrets to fall from my waist line. They still lingure there, holding me down. But thats not a big surprise.

Meanwhile, Neptune. the 8th planet in our own Solar system. Named after the Roman God of the Seas...Perfect fit for my Swimmmmy Fish Sophie. WIth its Highest Winds and Strong Magnetic field gave Advanced Bionics the Idea and allowed them to Wonderfully name their Processor after this Blue Planet.

We've changed our Rockets Course. Neptune is where Our new Adventure and Foreign rein shall be. We will conquer the harsh realities of the Neptune Atmosphere, and Make it suitable for Sophie...our family. And Turn something that Has given doubts into joy. It May not be our Home away from home for a while, as we settle into this new World. But Maybe one day it will be. At Sophies pace of Course. As she continues to experience little Jolts of discomfort, and "growing pains" from Sounds and vibrations.
The Processor is Super Simple. its Easy for Her to even use herself. To put on, take off, change battery, change channel. The mere Size of a lipstick and Almost like a headphone piece that goes on an Ipod.

Its been difficult to make her keep it on extensively. So we Let her take Breaks now and then. Back on it goes...sometimes a while, sometimes its only 5 minutes before shes running to her room as tho to hide and remove it. I did for the 1st time get a smile when I showed her it this morning. Put it on her...then it led to tears...and only 15 minutes of wear time. But in my book thats ok. Testing testing 1,2,3 right.So we try again and again and get her used to it.

Can not say with Ease that Im glad we did this to her. I can not say I like it, but I can also say I dont not like it. Im giving it a chance just as much as her. Therapy soon. Maybe she will respond better to strangers then us. Only time will tell.

Rocket Rocket BOOM, BOOM
off to Neptune

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Journey to The Moon: Sophies Implant Journey Part 2

Her Journey to the Moon, Began on a very rough note.
Running on about 3 hrs of sleep, for She, I and Emily. Due to Sophies new post surgery habit on 230am wake up calls that last till after 4am.
So her then 615am wake up from me, wasnt too....FRIENDLY. Even though I came in PEACE.
We only were Running 5 minutes behind my set schedule I had planned. BUT Everything after getting in the van just didnt want to work out. I forgot the address and we did a U-E to get it. The bagel line was EXtremely long. and then traffic at a stand still at times, and 30m/h others, made us 45 minutes late to said appointment. I LOATHE being late. I was horrified. Making Our time with the Tech From Seattle Childrens Hospital incomplete, as we were not able to get a reading on the level of frequencies the Lady was setting Sophies Neptune to.
We brought our entire Family, after all what an Adventure. Right? First hearing Experience for Soph. We wanted to be there to support. Matts Notion that Ryan would be the problem child was OUT OF THE WORLD WRONG. He did fantastic, playing With Sophie and the Audiologist. It was Emily that Filled a bucket of tears, with her fits over not playing...I should say NOT liking any of the Toys the Ladies were giving her to play with. Matt had to leave the Room often to Well....Speak with her, in his Daddy tone. At first Sophie took to the Processor on her head.

Then once it came off it was a fight to set it back on her. Eventually she got there. And as it was tested. You can see it in her face and body language how she was feeling about "SOUNDS" as the room was filled with us loud Deckers. Must have been more the Overwhelming for her Im sure. I saw her her head on the table, after each adjustment to the channels. Then when it was Removed for us to learn how to use this insane EQUIPMENT she went about Playing Nice and quiet.

She Refused to let anyone put it on her again, before our Car ride home. We gave up after about 10 minutes of trying to convince her. But in the car she took it by hand (off) to hold and learn, and she tried to put it on herself but didnt understand why it wouldnt stay.
She went right down for a nap when we got home, so it wasnt until after that I put it on her for the first time at home. First 5 minutes...went well. I then heard it BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP meaning it was off her implant. But When I put it on again she freaked out SCARED almost like it was hurting her...not so much hurt but the sensation is unfamiliar to her. She was kicking and screaming and rolling and Then jumped in my arms, EVERYTIME I talked she screamed louder then touched it She GOT so up set she threw up on me. ugh....So We try again tonight. And in the morning and so on and so on till its not AS scary.
After all 3 years of utter silence to enter into a crazy world where EVERYTHING makes noise...ID be ripping it off too.

So If you are interested on the Videos from her activation today. They are now up on my Youtube page.
Hopefully this link works. Or you can copy and paste if it doesnt.

More Videos from today after this one, just follow the link

Why Call it Journey to The Moon? Well Why not? Its Foreign Right? This is like a whole other World for her. Slow Steady Moon walking Steps toward being able to Communicate in everyway, but ultimately in which ever way she Chooses.

Back on Monday and THursday again for adjustments. Then Should be starting Therapy here in Tacoma Shortly.

Thanks For Taking this Journey with us.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

If I could turn back time... ;)

If I were to think back ohhhh 15+ years And think about the kind of childhood I experienced it would make me sad.
Not sad because it was a bad childhood, it wasnt. Sad, because Kids these days have no desire to just BE. They seem to always be on the move, and as their mini skirts get shorter, so does the age it starts to show more leg. Video games rule the house, they all have cell phones, and gagets of sorts.
Seems a bit..boring

I spent the better half of my years, pretty much OUTSIDE. From the first house in Monroe NY where my own memories began, to the "schoolhouse" in Howells, where we LIVED on our trampoline, and stayed out till late playing "man hunt". At that point Computers had been in circulation in homes, internet had been already underway, and social media, with AOL AIM and angelfire in full gear.My first email was to and I changed my screenname as often as the seasons. So it wasnt like we were lacking in Technology, we just prefered to

Simple times, and pleasurable times. We couldnt wait for school to end to take turns wrestling on the trampoline. We enjoyed our summers in pools and went to county fairs, for the rides, not to just "bump" into other friends...only to then stand around Trying to look cool, by looking like we werent into all the fair activities, petting zoos and snacks.

Sure, I started wearing makeup at 10 years old, coloring my hair in 7th grade, sported a jean mini skirt or two to the mall "trying" to look older then I was, but barely ever pulling that look off. Regardless, I still liked to get down and dirty in grass and mud.

So maybe Im not the coolest mom on the Block. My kids do not HAVE ANY video games, phones, ipads, leap frogs, computer access, of any kind. When they do get a hold of amazes me that they even understand how to work it most of the time. Like technology is hardwired into this new generations DNA some how. A medical phenomena, clearly.
For my kids long for the out doors, to run a muck in the grass, roll down the hills, and trips to the beach...where here in Washington you must first hike thru trails of wooded areas to get to. They love to skip rocks, and crawl in the sand.

UGH it has dawned on me that Im the old mom now these days. Nothing cool here, except that I enstill my own "OLD SOUL" atributes into my kids.
Because I dont want them to be the kids that I see now who Have no clue, who Kevin Bacon is? Or understand that Footloose they saw in thearters was re-made. That True love Novels Like Sense and Sensibility were meant to be read with care and time. Who ponder the name Jane Austen.
Kids these days have no clue what real movies, books and shows are. They think "the Breakfast Club" are where Dorks meet at school for in the mornings, The Goonies is a type of Candy, and That "bed Knob and Broomsticks" are something you just would find in their grandmothers basement.

Who look confused if you belt out "just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down" or "how do you catch a Cloud and pin it down"

Have no clue Where the saying "everytime a bell rings an Angel gets his wings" started from. this is my Fav scene From "its a wonderful life"

Or that Tammy and The Bachelor Had a series of movies.
Or that Elvis Presley once had a time in his life where we was a hunky movie star. Or that Wearing LAYERS of clothes, shoulder pads and side pony tails and big hair was once sexy.

Before there was Glee there was the Vontrap
and Partridge family.
Before Harry Potter there was Star Wars...ORIGINAL Star Wars.
Before 90210 was anerexic there was Tori Spelling and Jason Priestly
Before Bratz there was Clueless

Before Video games and internet to "help" children with skills there was playing outside and Sesame Streets Count dracula.

My childhood was awesome. I turned out just fine. Im a proud 80s/90s girl. And hope to keep my kids memories simple, wonderful, and full of more family face time, then IMing time. ;)

I can not rewind time, I cant wish for life to be different for my kids, but I can aid their old time souls to always be visuable from with in.

Happy March readers. LET SPRING COME NOW~