Just another rambling GOAT!

Pixie Dust and balloons settle from the Family birthday celebration. 4 Years ago yesterday Emily graced us Early! LONG Labor, LONG birth, Family feudings, Meetings and Blow Outs. College Massacres and "HOLY RAINFALL BATMAN", Hurt feelings, HURTING mama, and one Tiny 6 pound baby wrapped in Pink! OK OK Ill Admit, Wasnt the most magical day I was dreaming it would be, despite the Drama...Emily was perfect! And I couldnt be more happy! After that day, YES that day I was full of shelfish-ness (rightfully so after having hmmm 10 people all at once in my labor room while in extreme pain and forgettfulness!)Life Drasticly changed. In my Mind, in my heart, in my personality and in my strength! My actions tho that day in pain, started a ripple effect! And Life as I once knew it...was Gone!...BYE BYE!

AS I look back now, at Events that accompanied! Words that were spoken and feelings that were created! I compare them to now! I think, Karma is amazing! I think no truer words were ever created then that of "until you step into their shoes you will never truly know" Doesnt make the pain or results of the past different, but for me it makes me think! I dont know about other people, I can only speak for myself!

You know! Life has a funny away of tearing things apart, and then piecing them back together later. Pulling people apart and reuniting them in the future. Changing who we are and turning FATE, into reality! Sometimes you have to let go, and go with the flow to get every inch out of life. Its not one thing, its not one way! Its not a list or chart or routine!
Life...is the Willy Wonka Elevators Of All Elevators! Doesnt just go 2 directions!

Im not perfect, IM not a saint, I Have many days of "ohhh FML" and "woe-es me" But Im human! Im Woman! Im a worrier and a complainer and pool of self confidence and lack of as well! And apparently, as POINTED out last night by a friend "debates" just give us women another reason to NEVER shut up! HA, we do truly love our opinions!

Today, Im sick! My balance is off from the ear infection, my head hurts, my nose is annoying and All I can hear are the kids spinning around the livingroom chasing eachother!. And that ok! Its just another day and in 14 more hrs a new day starts! But somewhere down the line till then. Ill bitch, yell, cry, hide, sleep, eat and play with the kiddos. And Be me! regardless to what happened 4 years ago! Life kept moving. Had more Kids with AMAZING births and felt the joy of what the day should be. Been up and down more mountains in life then most people ever climb and I wouldnt change that for anything! Because I know, when I look at each of my Children, and Play their story in my mind, it has molded myself and this family into what it is today. Not perfect, Not Royal...Plain Jane Ordinary but Spectacular to us!

Who is Emily McKenzie?

Who is Emily McKenzie?
In Short...me!....Heres Why

As she is getting older. I keep seeing more and more of me in her. After All shes the oldest. And it wasnt Just her for too long. Being only 21 Months old when Sophia was born. She took to the Big sister role Right away. I dont Give Emily much responsiblity at Home. She must clean her toys up, brush her teeth, clean up her spills...that about sums it up. Its when we go out, especially to the park or someones home where they go off an play, that I tell her "its your job to keep Sissy safe, to help her and show her things and make sure friends are being nice to her". Well that role has spilled over into our house. to the point where I hear my own mothers voice coming out of me..."I am the mom you are not"...those dreaded moments where all of a sudden you are brought back to your own childhood.
Emily McKenzie as sweet and funny as she is...is Bossy! Bossy! Bossy! Which also happens to be the most used Word by her, inregards to Matt and I parenting her :/

On the positive side. Shes super quirky just like me. Singing at random times, her own lyrics. Talking to herself. Saying weird things like "im all alone...Im all alone I cant find my kids, that makes me alone" at random times...with a very sad look on her face.

She Just reminds me soo much of myself. Its kind of funny! Shes such a doll. Wants so much to be loved and cared for. Wants to hear it and feel and see it! She wants to make sure shes never forgotten about.
My little me is turning 4 on Sunday! That amazes me! 4...really 4!!!??
Im so thankful for her. Im so Blessed. She changed my life. She changed me and made me a stronger person. She will always be My Emmiepoo.

GLAMOUR

I watch her twist, and turn. Smile into the air and yell (in joy) her high pitched scream. I watch her bend and scoup, then twirl and jump. Her imagination, at its wildest. She falls to the ground, kicking her legs up. Moving faster and faster Laughing at herself. So! She acts. She makes us laugh. Does extrememly funny faces and inspired motions!
Shes beautiful! Graceful! enchanting! Illuminating! Glamorous.
She does not let the hearing defeat her. She does not let the looks get her down. Her pride and joy is seen through her big brown eyes.

So when I hear "I feel bad for her" from those who dont really know her. I Brush it off. What is there to feel bad for? This is her life. This is how God intended. She is the happiest little girl, bouncing from one end of the house to the other.

Do not for Bad for her, rejoice in her delightfulness. She is a shining bright light. Those looks...those words of discouragement, those words of pitty...will be clouds over her. I refuse to let that light burn out! So stop! Before you think of how terrible it must be to be "different", think about the power and Blessings it has to be Unique!

As Chicks

Little Girls are rough! I'd say just as bad as boys. Always doing something to get themselves an adrenaline rush! Climbing just as high, just as many scars on Knees,elbows and hands. Jumping from the top, landing hard and laughing out of control. Just as many bloody noses and black and blue marks. Always trying to out do each other.
"old Mr Webster could never define..." the truth about Childhood, Boy or Girl! Could never guess who did what, or why! In our youth, we always test those boundaries. We live to play, we play pretend, we fall and always get back up. Shake off fears of heights and small places. Drown ourselves in ice cream and m&m's. Make prank calls and 'Tag' YOUR IT! Stay out past dark to feel like a "bad" one! Ride Bikes for fun...hide our vitamins in secret places. Count down till Summer, pass notes in school, secret code languages and CODE names for our crushes.

Its all so important. the way we play as Children. The way we grow into Snotty pre-teens and secretive teenagers. The Learning curve that honestly we all go through. Although for some its in different ways..we still experience it.
I love listening to the Kids play pirates and inter-act with their imaginary Friend Yana from a different country...New York! lol. AS Em told me.
Seeing Sophie, act in Slo-mo and run crazy. Kick her legs and giggle in excitement over nothing in the car. Ryan Chase after the Balls laughing hysterical as he pushes them further.

Its funny. Since the beginning of Spring. Ive found myself being brought back to the good years of my careless Childhood. Certain things, certain times of the evening remind me of those days. The overwhelming sensation of great-ness comes over me in those moments, makes all my cares disappear for that time. Its what I loved about Spring and Summer days as a Child, and what I love as an adult. Just before night fall, as the Sun peaks over the mountain top and the rooms glow. The family settles for Dinner and relax from the day. Perfect! Priceless! Simple!

Learning

Learning each and everyday something new. New inspiration and new challenges to help mold myself and my family. We will be the best we All can be!

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please join me in a nice little Blog spot. and Support My Sophie and other families that need Awareness and Support

The Lion the Witch and the Elephant in the Room...?

Gathered in a room full of people...Its loud. Lots of movement.When through the Crowd pops out A little girl. All Smiles. All hyper. Ready to party her tush off. People Smile at her, say her name. Speak to her...and then wonder..."does she not care?"..."maybe she doesnt like me" All the while not paying attention to the Signs at hand. "ohh shes Deaf" surprised pitty faces stare blankly back. Silently thinking "now what do i say...hurry either ask a question or change the subject". Its Obvious then...theres an Elephant in the room.
Happens more then one would think. The Silence (no pun intended)forms a wall of tension and uncertainty. Hmm? Some think. How is it shes deaf...her parents are not. Her brother and sister are not. But they are sometimes scared to ask what happened.

The Witch, How we've come to know her very well. She sits day in day out, sleeping, Cleaning...doing her witchy routine. At the very sound of hardship, or evilness, she reveals her self. She defends life. She defends the right to be free of bullying...the hackling snarling green witted sense of humor...has thus changed. Certain things are not as funny anymore.

The lion...this lion is not so cowardly. He stands his ground when called upon, but for the most part, Lays still and quiet in the brush. Annoying the young and females now and again just to make his presense known. Hes a fighter, a leader, a provider. A great influence and loved dearly by his cubs that TAKE JUST AFTER HIM!

As for that elephant...it still lingures. It roams and pops out now and again.In Different rooms where new questions come up, or when People scratch their heads wondering..."if shes deaf then why is she dancing to the music? why does she act with a mic and a guitar in hand? Why does she laugh at the Movie?"...
What we have learned is that reality, is a hard thing to swallow. Tasteless,mostly...Bitter at times. Sweet with every inch of laughter. Sometimes Burning as it drips down the back of your throat, swelling your eyes. Its our reality, Elephant or not...We've learned to live it, and take nothing for granted!