Monday, April 18, 2011

Just another rambling GOAT!

Pixie Dust and balloons settle from the Family birthday celebration. 4 Years ago yesterday Emily graced us Early! LONG Labor, LONG birth, Family feudings, Meetings and Blow Outs. College Massacres and "HOLY RAINFALL BATMAN", Hurt feelings, HURTING mama, and one Tiny 6 pound baby wrapped in Pink! OK OK Ill Admit, Wasnt the most magical day I was dreaming it would be, despite the Drama...Emily was perfect! And I couldnt be more happy! After that day, YES that day I was full of shelfish-ness (rightfully so after having hmmm 10 people all at once in my labor room while in extreme pain and forgettfulness!)Life Drasticly changed. In my Mind, in my heart, in my personality and in my strength! My actions tho that day in pain, started a ripple effect! And Life as I once knew it...was Gone!...BYE BYE!

AS I look back now, at Events that accompanied! Words that were spoken and feelings that were created! I compare them to now! I think, Karma is amazing! I think no truer words were ever created then that of "until you step into their shoes you will never truly know" Doesnt make the pain or results of the past different, but for me it makes me think! I dont know about other people, I can only speak for myself!

You know! Life has a funny away of tearing things apart, and then piecing them back together later. Pulling people apart and reuniting them in the future. Changing who we are and turning FATE, into reality! Sometimes you have to let go, and go with the flow to get every inch out of life. Its not one thing, its not one way! Its not a list or chart or routine! the Willy Wonka Elevators Of All Elevators! Doesnt just go 2 directions!

Im not perfect, IM not a saint, I Have many days of "ohhh FML" and "woe-es me" But Im human! Im Woman! Im a worrier and a complainer and pool of self confidence and lack of as well! And apparently, as POINTED out last night by a friend "debates" just give us women another reason to NEVER shut up! HA, we do truly love our opinions!

Today, Im sick! My balance is off from the ear infection, my head hurts, my nose is annoying and All I can hear are the kids spinning around the livingroom chasing eachother!. And that ok! Its just another day and in 14 more hrs a new day starts! But somewhere down the line till then. Ill bitch, yell, cry, hide, sleep, eat and play with the kiddos. And Be me! regardless to what happened 4 years ago! Life kept moving. Had more Kids with AMAZING births and felt the joy of what the day should be. Been up and down more mountains in life then most people ever climb and I wouldnt change that for anything! Because I know, when I look at each of my Children, and Play their story in my mind, it has molded myself and this family into what it is today. Not perfect, Not Royal...Plain Jane Ordinary but Spectacular to us!