Thursday, January 6, 2011

Even on my Weakest Days

Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger

Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for minute but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger

Life has a weird way of throwing in these insane Curve balls. I try to catch them, I try to juggle them, But either the balls, or my face hits the floor! This past year has been an extreme Eye opener. I've seen things go round n round, Ive had shit it the fan, I've fallen down, n picked MYSELF back up. I've hurt, I've cried, I laughed, I screamed, I gave in, I GAVE UP! But I've never walked away! Its never been in my nature to Do so! But here I am now at a cross roads. I face lies, I face tactful planning, I face smarts...I hear something, But I feel something else! It might not make sense to people reading this but...if only Walls could talk! HAHAHA then I might not be so clueless.....BUT FUCK THAT!! Im done being Clueless. If not for myself, I need to stand up for my kids. Show them strength, show them that theres a certain and right way to be treated. That theres a certain, right way to treat people, especially people we love!
This year! Is sure going to change my life forever. its seems no matter what road I take.....lessons will be learned, n earned , n hopefully Ill make it out alive!

being Heart Broken is never fun! But either is dealing with this bullshit~ Its always something new...thats repeating the same ole Ways! if that even makes sense!

starting over?? Where? how? I cant breathe as it is. I cant imagine life, I cant function! I cant see straight! I cant I cant I Cant.
In my head I keep batting back n forth! I keeppp Hoping...But maybe Im holding on to something toooo toxic!? too............Something!

Guess its better to have loved...then never to have loved at All!