Sunday, December 4, 2011

What it might come down to

You know Us Deckers here have a way of always figuring things out. Some times with Help, Some times just by the Skin of our knees. More often then not we put out each month more then we bring in. And by WE I mean Matt. While it is a blessing That I am A SAHM and That every Job Matt has ever had has allowed that to be possible, it also has a lot to do with the fact that If I were to work...I'd just be paying the sitter and Gas. So What good is no face time with my kiddos if I still dont have the means to help support their ever growing feet, legs, ears...
As December has now arrived, Im thinking about the new year coming up. What needs to change, what can be changed, how things can be changed, if things can be changed. Things were a tad easier when All my kids were tiny. While they are still small, everything else about them is bigger. Can we truly continue down this pay check to pay check life style and provide? No, not really.
I find it tacky to talk about money problems and our down and outs in public. But today, as I vent and sort out whats in my head by writing it down. It seems to be helping clear out the mindly junk. BUT its not going to fix our sour situation.
Last Month we went from A HUGE mistake made on part of Western Union, and bill collectors calling to...Having a bank that hasnt fixed the problem but made it possible for us to continue life. TO our life information being stolen from the car of a Tri-care worker. Tri-care is our insurance company, to having to borrow $$$ when I knew that eventually all that was borrowed would have to be paid back, and then what....same poor boat. Allotments on checks, and now......NO CAR for the kids and I to all be in together. Which means.....if Seattle calls to set up therapy appts before the February surgery, we are screwed. Still the collectors call as our Bank account reaches $6 dollars that of course has to keep us a float in our boat till the 15th when we reach a new pay day. Now lets think...positive. If we didnt live in military housing, where even our electic and gas is paid for (unless we go over our alloted amount) we'd be living in a car, OH WAIT WE DONT HAVE a tent made from sheets and blankets. Making this Traveling Family, even more true Gypsies.

So from the bottom of my heart to my family who has helped us this year it means the World. To the Family who has purchased Christmas Gifts for our Children, It wouldnt be a Christmas with out the kindness you have shown for us. And I thank you truly.

Its Funny because there is a possiblity of things changing for us. But it involves paper out of my husbands control really. If we had a chance to get it, The way we would use it, to make 2012 NOTHING like 2011 has been would work wonders for this family of mine. Im talking, Getting a paid off car, paying off insurance, removing allotments from his Check, getting the kids real beds and real shoes and coats, paying off student loans. Goodness that would mean when we get paid every two weeks, we actually have money! But its a pipe dream because it involves having a special someone change her mind and change who she is. Which come on, thats a hard enough task for a 3 year old to manage. I just pray that this coming year will be different. SO much else will be changing with our kids...Hearing, School...sports. We have job security at the moment. Now I want The security of knowing when Pay day comes, we dont have to not get this, because we have to pay that. Or worry that our door bells going to ring, and someones taking back unpaid for property.
2011 has been way too hard. It has to change. We need it to change. We need prayer. We NEED PRAYER~ I keep asking for prayer requests.
Prayer, because Something Powerful and meaningful has to be out there for us right? There has to be a good no string attachment angel waiting for us around the corner right? RIGHT?

It comes down to prayer.
It comes down to Faith.
It comes down to Hope.
It comes down to Starting out 2012 clear mind, a little less debt free and on the right foot.

So I pray Lord.