Friday, September 23, 2011

nothing is easy...

Something wonderful happened.
I realized that I shouldnt be consentrating on what I should do for a living, but should be consentrating on what I do best creatively speaking. Which is Writing. I may not spell, or have great grammar. I may miss a letter or squish words, but thats me in my spellbound mind, typing fast and not giving a crap about grammar.
Whats so important about Great Grammar skills anyway? Isnt that what proof reading Edits and editors are hired for?
The problem is, I havent been able to write a lick, worth of decent material since Emily was born.
My mind focused on motherhood, and sanity rather then the mind moving paradox. YES paradox,that I worked in. May not make too much sense to my readers, but you've not been in my working head. When Im able to block out the world, sound, logic, reality and move into a character.
Best work for me, is that which I can outline the first few chapters, extensively had already created each and every character, down to the color of their favorite nail polish. Figure out their first several giant moves in the lined work, and then bam.............LOST. Blocked. Bored of my own work, regardless to what my fav writing buddy says or thinks about my piece....More often then not tho, im settled in my then opinion of the middle story before She gets to read it, so really shes out of luck in winning me over. And then its not till months, or now years later, Ill glance back at a story and think "how wonder" and know I was crazy for stopping. Crazy for thinking it lacked interest. Yet, cant seem to muster up the formalities needed to pick it up where I left it of. Not that I could even if I wanted go back to the mind frame I had at that point in time writing it.

So this concludes that I new manuscript needs to be in the works, and maybe If I pull out all the old stuff to awaken that spirit in me, something will come of it. But there lies one big question...."how do I block out my life, long enough to write?"
I am mom, to 3 young babies. Who every 10 mins or less Yell for me, for some reason or another.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH nothing is ever easy is it?